Kiss Me, I'm Irish
by D. M. Larson
There is an empty classroom with a table center with three
chairs. A board or bulletin board says Happy St. Patrick's Day. Irish girl
walks in and sits at the first chair. She has a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt
on and maybe a cute little green hat. She settles in with her book,
notebook and pencil and looks around for cute guys when she is ready for
class. Scottish girl walks in and has a sour look on her face. She
sees Irish girl and gets an annoyed look. She sits two chairs down from
her. She has on a shirt that says "Don't Kiss Me, I'm Scottish."
After a few moments:
I hate St. Patrick's Day.
Irish girl looks at Scottish girl surprised.
All the stupid shirts, wearing green, the green beer... so
disgusting. It makes a mockery of the true meaning of the holiday.
Irish girl gets a very confused look on her face.
What is the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day?
Irish girl looks around even more confused. Cute guy
walks in and sits between them. Irish girl is all happy and gives him a
big smile and tries to make sure he can see her shirt. Scottish girl
crosses her arms.
Hey ladies. How you are you this fine St. Patrick's Day?
Irish girl giggles and Scottish girl rolls her eyes.
She giggles more and he leans in.
Does that mean I should kiss you?
She giggles even more. Guy turns to Scottish
What's your shirt say?
Scottish girl puts down her arms.
Don't kiss me I'm Scottish. That's funny.
Guy takes off his glasses, turns up the smolder.
Scottish girl gets nervous.
So you don't want me to kiss you huh?
Scottish is nervous and unconvincing.
He leans in more, but then Italian rushes in.
What are you doing?
Guy sits up.
What? Huh? Nothing.
I saw the way you were looking at her.
No, I just needed a pencil.
Get over here...
She points off left.
Guy jumps up and rushes off with her following. Irish
and Scottish watch off left.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Irish and Scottish look at each other.
IRISH AND SCOTTISH
She's definitely Italian.
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