Kiss Me, I'm Irish
by D. M. Larson
There is an empty classroom with a table center with three
chairs. A board or bulletin board says Happy St. Patrick's Day. Irish girl
walks in and sits at the first chair. She has a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt
on and maybe a cute little green hat. She settles in with her book,
notebook and pencil and looks around for cute guys when she is ready for
class. Scottish girl walks in and has a sour look on her face. She
sees Irish girl and gets an annoyed look. She sits two chairs down from
her. She has on a shirt that says "Don't Kiss Me, I'm Scottish."
After a few moments:
I hate St. Patrick's Day.
Irish girl looks at Scottish girl surprised.
All the stupid shirts, wearing green, the green beer... so
disgusting. It makes a mockery of the true meaning of the holiday.
Irish girl gets a very confused look on her face.
What is the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day?
Irish girl looks around even more confused. Cute guy
walks in and sits between them. Irish girl is all happy and gives him a
big smile and tries to make sure he can see her shirt. Scottish girl
crosses her arms.
Hey ladies. How you are you this fine St. Patrick's Day?
Irish girl giggles and Scottish girl rolls her eyes.
She giggles more and he leans in.
Does that mean I should kiss you?
She giggles even more. Guy turns to Scottish
What's your shirt say?
Scottish girl puts down her arms.
Don't kiss me I'm Scottish. That's funny.
Guy takes off his glasses, turns up the smolder.
Scottish girl gets nervous.
So you don't want me to kiss you huh?
Scottish is nervous and unconvincing.
He leans in more, but then Italian rushes in.
What are you doing?
Guy sits up.
What? Huh? Nothing.
I saw the way you were looking at her.
No, I just needed a pencil.
Get over here...
She points off left.
Guy jumps up and rushes off with her following. Irish
and Scottish watch off left.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Irish and Scottish look at each other.
IRISH AND SCOTTISH
She's definitely Italian.
Free Stage Play Scripts at Freedrama.net
*Freedrama scripts by D. M. and Shiela Larson are FREE to use in a classroom, audition, competition, or workshop.
All mentions of the script should include the author (D. M. Larson) and the source (Freedrama.net).
In return for using the script royalty free, we would be most thankful if you completed 1 or more of the following: http://www.freedrama.net/nocost.html (subscribe and share freedrama.net on social media or share a printed poster).
IMPORTANT: The text of this script is copyright protected material. You are NOT allowed to repost the text of the script online for any reason (even educational). You may create a link to the script on Freedrama.net, but do not republish or redistribute the text of the script in any way online.
MAKING A VIDEO?
If the play is recorded as a video and posted on the internet in any way, please begin the online description of the video with "From a Freedrama.net free stage play script." Here are additional rules for using scripts for videos: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/07/would-you-like-to-use-free-script-for.html
CHARGING ADMISSION? ARE YOU PLACING ADS ON YOUR VIDEO?
OPTION 1: If you produce the script for profit, you can still use the play for free if you agree to add a link to freedrama.net on your website (please share the webpage where you added the link). OPTION 2: Or you can purchase copies of the play for each member of your cast at Amazon.com and use the play royalty free. OPTION 3: If you prefer to pay the royalty instead of completing one of the above requests then you can do so at http://www.freedrama.net/royalty.html
**Please email email@example.com and state that you agree to the above requirements and you will be given permission to use the script.**
Thank you for selecting our plays. Have fun and please let us know how it goes.
D. M. and Shiela Larson
Tweet to @freedrama
Freedrama offers the following types of plays:
Freedrama provides free stage play scripts for actors, directors, teachers and students. Our free theatre resources are for both schools and theatre groups. Freedrama also has free help for new actors including a no cost online acting school. Improve your acting and communication skills with our variety of educational materials including improv drama games and fun learning activities such as MadScripts.
MORE FREE PLAYS FROM FREEDRAMA.NET!