free solo stage play script monologue

Between Good and Evil

by D. M. Larson

free full length stage play script about superheroes and aliens

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"Between Good and Evil" by D. M. Larson (published full length stage play)






SCENE 1: MONOLOGUE FROM ANOTHER WORLD


(A single light appears. An alien, who looks very much like you and me, appears.  The alien can speak to the audience or use props that represent different types of people in the universe, arranging them to as an example of what is being talked about)


ALIEN

I am not of your world but I know everything about you.  Because everywhere I go in the universe, everyone is the same. Everyone is dreaming and wishing on stars. Everyone is seeking a better life for themselves or for others.  And that's how the universe is divided.  Those who want for themselves... and those who want for others.  What do you want?  What type of life form are you?  Are you here to get hold of the most wonderful thing you can imagine and hang on to it as long as possible?  Or do you want to leave the universe a little better off than it was before you were in existence?  We all chose whether we know it or not.  We all decide to give or take.  And sooner or later we all learn what is at the center of the universe.  Is it you or is it me?  Or is there some other incredible secret waiting for us at the core of it all?

(Lights come up on an alien planet)

ALIEN (CONT.)

Do we explore for knowledge?  Or explore for gain?  Are we seeking to make the universe better or do our actions cause others pain?  Some will choose pain while others fight for what's right.  While some will gain a special new insight.




Touched by An Alien 

(A couple of space explorers, Captain and Commander, are sitting relaxed among the rocks, looking at their electronic devices taking and recording readings.  A couple of other space explorers, Cadet and Grunt, run behind them yelling/screaming, being chased by strange aliens. Captain and Commander look at each other and shrug.  Aliens run back across with Grunt and Cadet chasing them)

CAPTAIN

Care for some tea, Commander?

COMMANDER

Why yes, Captain.  That would be lovely.

(Captain pours Commander some tea.  Alien runs by and knocks it from the Captain's hand and leaves.  Cadet and Grunt chase alien)

CAPTAIN

How rude.

COMMANDER

I vote for sub-intelligent life forms.

CAPTAIN

Noted.  They do appear to be quite savage.

(Grunt and Cadet bring in one of the aliens they've captured)

Cadet

Yee-haw! We got one! 

GRUNT

On your knees, maggot!

(Grunt forces alien on to its knees in front of the Commander and Captain.  Commander waves a device in front of it)

COMMANDER

Scanning... imaging... OH!

CAPTAIN

What is it?

COMMANDER

Special alert from the Inter-galactic shopping network.  That new phase scanner is 50% off this week.

(Explorers gather around Commander.  Alien sneaks off during the following dialog)

CAPTAIN

Buy it!  Buy it!

Commander

I love this new app.  Makes purchasing so much easier.  The deals I'm finding are amazing.

CAPTAIN

Uh... which one of you was watching the alien?

(Cadet and Grunt look at each other.  Grunt punches Cadet)

CADET

Ow!

GRUNT

Get moving!

CADET

I'm an officer.  You're supposed to listen to me.

GRUNT

You're like 12.  How did you get in officer training?

CADET

I was on this colony ship and impressed one of the Space Explorers with my incredible intelligence.

CAPTAIN

And it doesn't hurt that your father is an Admiral.

(Commander laughs)

GRUNT

Move it!

CADET

I'm so reporting you.

(Cadet and Grunt run after alien)

COMMANDER

Commander's vlog... Spacedate Niner-Ought-Ocho-Alpha...

CAPTAIN

You so have something in your teeth.

COMMANDER

Thanks.

(Commander uses video screen to check teeth)

CAPTAIN

I think you're still recording.  Streaming live.

COMMANDER

Great.

CAPTAIN

Think we can get those aliens to sign the Galaxy Confederation Charter?

COMMANDER

I have ways of making that happen.

CAPTAIN

Promise me you won't chop off one of their hands again.  That was so gross.

COMMANDER

Worked didn't it?  Hand print signature was a sure thing after that.

CAPTAIN

But you got alien goo all over the WeePad.  It still doesn't work right.

COMMANDER

Fine. Do it the hard way.

(Cadet and Grunt drag in an alien. NOTE: This can be the same alien or a different one if you wish to use more actors).

CAPTAIN

Hello, good alien.  Please sit.

Grunt forces alien down.

CAPTAIN (CONT.)

Care for some tea?

COMMANDER

This is going to take forever.

GRUNT

Want me to do the hand thing?

Grunt pulls out a huge knife and holds up alien's hand.

COMMANDER

The captain here doesn't like that.

CADET

That's against our Galactic Confederation Code!

Grunt laughs and puts knife away.

GRUNT

We're a long way from the GCC, Cadet.

Cadet points proudly to a badge on uniform.

CADET

Where-ever you see this badge, the GCC is the law and I shall...

(Grunt grabs the badge off Cadet's uniform and tosses it away as far as possible)

CADET (CONT.)

Hey!

(Cadet goes after it)

CAPTAIN

So, my friend.  What kind of tea do you like?  I can generate any number of flavors.

GRUNT

Make it extra hot.

CAPTAIN

No torture. 

GRUNT

Commander?

COMMANDER

Listen to the Captain.

GRUNT

I'm so transferring after this mission.

CAPTAIN

So savage.  I know none of this means anything to you, but I simply need your hand print.  It says you agree that your planet and all the resources here will belong to the GCC.  In return, we will give you this shiny, new GCC badge!  Each one is uniquely engraved with an unduplicated number and a holographic image of our supreme leader.

(Captain holds out badge to alien)

CAPTAIN (CONT.)

It's shiny.

(Alien slowly takes and looks at it)

CAPTAIN (CONT.)

Pretty.

(Alien throws it at Captain)

CAPTAIN (CONT.)

My eye!  It hit me in the eye!

(Grunt is laughing.  Commander grabs the alien's hand and sticks its hand print on to the WeePad)

COMMANDER

Done.  Let it go.

GRUNT

No souvenirs?

COMMANDER

Gross.  No.

(Grunt let's go of alien but it doesn't run.  Alien goes up to Captain who is still crumpled over.  It touches the Captain's wound.  Captain flinches.  The alien spits on its own hand and then touches the hand to the Captain's eye)

CAPTAIN

Hey!  Oh... that feels good.

(Alien pulls away and Captain's eye is okay.  Captain looks in amazement)

CAPTAIN (CONT.)

Thank you.

(Alien walks away) 

COMMANDER

That was different.

CAPTAIN

Quite.

COMMANDER

I think your eye is a slightly different color now.

CAPTAIN

I can see better too.

COMMANDER

This requires further study.

CAPTAIN

We'll report to the GCC and get authorized for a return voyage.

COMMANDER

To the shuttle?

CAPTAIN

To the shuttle.

GRUNT

Totally asking for a transfer.  I didn't get to kill anything.

(They exit and a rocket blast is heard.  After a few moments Cadet returns)

CADET

Where did everybody go?

(Cadet wanders around and sits sadly and wraps his arms around himself. ALIEN narrator returns)

ALIEN

All of us are born innocent babies, ready to be shaped.  But others are reborn as a reaction to what we experience in life.  Some of us grow stronger while other shrink in fear.  And in this lowest moment, this is when we forge a new path in our future.

(Cadet jumps up and throws a rock at where the space explorers left from)

CADET

I hate you... I hate you all!

ALIEN

For some a miracle happens.

(Cadet picks up another rock and it glows in his hand)

CADET

What is this?

ALIEN

A small discovery has a big impact.

(All the aliens start gathering around CADET.  He holds up the glowing rock and they cower.  They start making humming noises and bow before him. CADET starts to smile)

CADET

Yes... yes... bow before me.  Bow before my might and glory.  Worship me!

(The aliens all motion for him to follow and he does)

ALIEN

There are important moments in our lives where we must make a choice.  A choice to be good or a choice to be evil.  If others follow, where will you lead them?  To a better life or to a life that's only better for you?  That's how heroes are made.  They are the ones who devote themselves to others, wanting to change what is wrong and make things right.

END OF SCENE



PROTECTO (KID HERO)

PROTECTO

I've always dreamed of being a hero. I've tried everything to become super.  I let a spider bite me... no spider powers; just lots of itching.  I tried standing too close to the microwave oven hoping the radiation would change me.  Nothing.  And I got in trouble for making so many bags of popcorn.  But I took it all to school and had a popcorn party.  I was a hero that day. So I guess it kinda worked. 

I love being a hero.  I love helping people.  I love making them happy.  And I hate bad guys.  I hate creeps who hurt people.

There's this kid at school... he is always hurting everyone.  I am sick of him hurting us.  I just need those super powers.  I need something that will make him stop. 

(Lost in thought)

PROTECTO (CONT.)

Maybe if I eat more of the school lunches.  They look radioactive.  If I get enough green hotdogs and brown ketchup in me... something is bound to happen.

(Nods in approval)

PROTECTO (CONT.)

And I need a catch phrase like "gonna smoosh me a baddie"... and a cool costume... actually last time I was in the bathroom, I saw the perfect superhero name.  Protecto!  Instead of a telephone booth like superman, I could use a bathroom stall and those Protecto seat covers could be a cape... and make a toilet paper mask.  Nothing scares bad guys more than bathroom stuff. 

(Thinks then frowns) 

PROTECTO (CONT.)

Or maybe it will really make them want to give me a swirly.  I better rethink this.

END OF SCENE


STUNG 

ALIEN

Being a hero isn't easy. We might want to help others but sometimes we are too weak and feel helpless at times.  But the spirit must remain strong if we are to achieve a greater good.

(June is wandering around looking at flowers) 

ALIEN (CONT.)

In life, even small acts of kindness can create a hero.  There doesn't need to be a meteor falling toward your planet for a hero to emerge. 

(June dances around happily and decides to take her shoes off and dance some more)

ALIEN (CONT.)

Even the smallest crisis can give us a chance to be a hero in the lives of others. 

(Alien exits)

(June screams!  She falls on the ground holding her foot.  She shakes her leg and screams some more)

JUNE

AH!

(Protecto runs out to see what's wrong) 

PROTECTO

What happened?

JUNE

I got stung by a bee... on the foot...

PROTECTO

Let me see.

(June flops down and holds up her foot)

PROTECTO (CONT.)

Okay, let me get the stinger out.  I hear if you can get it out without squeezing the little venom bag then it won't hurt as much.

JUNE

Ow! Ow! Ow! Get it out!

(June is shaking her foot)

PROTECTO

Hold still!

(June tries to stop struggling.  Protecto carefully gets it with one finger)

PROTECTO (CONT.)

There.

JUNE

Still hurts.

(She shakes her foot at him.  Protecto struggles and then holds her leg still again and looks)

PROTECTO

Looks like there is a bit of stinger in there still.

JUNE

Get it out!

PROTECTO

I'm going to need to tweezers or something.

JUNE

Get some tweezers!

PROTECTO

Okay, okay!

(Protecto runs off. *Various people can walk by and try to ignore June and make gestures and faces if desired*  Molly walks by and sees June on her back moaning and holding her foot in the air)

MOLLY

Uh... you okay?

JUNE

No...

MOLLY

Can I help?

JUNE

I don't know...

MOLLY

Tell me what's wrong and I'll see what I can do?

JUNE

I got stung by a bee.

MOLLY

How did you get stung?

JUNE

I stopped to smell the roses.

MOLLY

What?

JUNE

You know how they tell you to stop and smell the roses?

MOLLY

They?

JUNE

Well, sometimes you hear that.

MoLLY

You do?

JUNE

Oh geez, never mind.

MOLLY

Do bee stings make people cranky?

JUNE

Yes!

MOLLY

Oh... so why were you barefoot?

JUNE

Because I wanted to be one with nature!  I love nature! 

(June starts ripping at the grass and flowers and throws them in the air)

JUNE (CONT.)

Weeee! Weee! Weee!  OW!

(June has hurt her hand now)

MOLLY

What happened?

JUNE

Nature gave me some more good loving!  Thorn.

(June sucks on her thumb)

MOLLY

Nature doesn't love you back.

JUNE

What did I ever do to nature?  I try to be good.  I try to leave a small carbon footprint.  I have a hybrid car.  I use recycled toilet paper...

MOLLY

Recycled toilet paper... sorry, but that just sounds gross.

JUNE

It is just recycled paper... it wasn't used in a toilet before... well, I don't think so...

MOLLY

Now I don't feel so good.

JUNE

Don't like potty talk?

MOLLY

Not really.  Poop scares me.

JUNE

That's too bad because I think you stepped in some.

MOLLY

Uh!  Nature strikes again... see ya...

(Molly exits and drags her foot/shoe on the ground trying to get some poop off.  June sighs... a little old man, Don, shuffles out.  June ignores him.  Don pokes her with his walking stick/cane) 

JUNE

Hey!

DON

"Hey you!" back.  Get off my lawn.

JUNE

This your lawn?

DON

Yup... get off.

JUNE

But I can't walk... I'm injured...

(She holds her foot up to Don.  He gets out his glasses and looks at her foot closely.  He smells something bad and backs away)

DON

Wow, that's quite a stink.

JUNE

That's not my foot... some dog pooped on your lawn.

DON

Dag-nabbit! Darn frickin' dogs!

JUNE

Such language in front of a lady.

DON

You're just a hippy.  Did you rip up my flowers?

JUNE

Um...

DON

You hippies ain't got no respect for property!

JUNE

Look... don't get all worked up now...

(Don grabs his chest and falls on top of June)

JUNE (CONT.)

He got worked up.

(Protecto runs back in with tweezers)

Protecto

I got the...

(Protecto sees old man Don on top of June)

Protecto (CONT.)

Um... I'm not sure the tweezers can remove that...

JUNE

Get him off!

(Protecto picks up Don and struggles with him and ends up falling and having Don on top of him.  June looks and holds up her foot)

JUNE (CONT.)

Can you get the thorn out now... please?

(Molly crosses the stage dragging her foot)

MOLLY

Pooh!  Hate the smell of pooh!

(Lights fade to black)

END OF SCENE

(Alien enters as Protecto helps June and Don off the stage)


ALIEN

Kindness is one of the greatest super powers.  A kind heart can make the world a better place for those around us.


Blinded by the Knight

(It is evening at a comic book store.  If an instant backdrop is possible, there can be several posters and novelties decorating this.  On wheels, a large cabinet with signs stating types of comics. The comics are facing away from the audience.  A Ninja pokes up from behind the cabinet and looks around. She sneaks around the book shelf and hides behind it (the audience can see her still).  Joe walks upstage of the book case.  She grabs a comic over the shelf with snakelike speed.  Joe stops and looks around but doesn't see anything and shrugs.  She sneaks away right behind him but he doesn't notice her)

(Alien speaks as Howard enters reading a comic book) 

ALIEN

There's this young man named Howard... he's a good kid... but he's shy and can't talk to girls.

(Ashley walks by Howard who gets all nervous and hides his face behind the comic book)

ALIEN (Cont.)

And there's a princess... well, she was always told she was a princess... and she got whatever she wanted.  She loves pretty things...

(Ninja appears with something shiny like jewelry and dangles it by Ashley)

Ashley

Ooh! Shiny!

(Ashley whips out her credit card and grabs the jewel.  Ninja takes the card and goes.  Howard peeks over the comic at Ashley)

ALIEN

These two need to learn a lesson and a mysterious person, a hero of sorts, plans to give them a whole new outlook on life. 

(Alien exits.  Joe goes over to Ashley) 

Joe

You like kryptonite jewelry huh?

Ashley

As long as it is big and flashy, I like it lots.  Where's the little princess's room?

JOE

Back down the hall.  Look for the Supergirl poster.

Ashley

How come it is super-girl and then super-man?  Isn't that sexist?

Joe

Uh... sure.

Ashley

Well, stop doing that.

Joe

Yeah... I'll call my friends at DC comics right now and get them to change that.

Ashley

Good.  See, that's why I won the title Miss Politically Correct last year.

JOE

How many people were in that contest? 

Ashley

Doesn't matter.  The important thing is that the right person won.

(Ashley exits.  Howard rushes over to Joe and lowers his comic)

Howard

Is that who I think it is?

Joe

Yup, that's Ashley Anderson, beauty queen.  Miss Teen Walla Walla, Miss Pet Lover, Miss Apple Pie... She's been the Miss of everything I think.

HOWARD

What is she doing here?

JOE

She's here to do a photo shoot. She's endorsing the store and then we're endorsing her.  See, they think she is a sure thing to win Miss Washington this year and if she can win Miss America, then this sponsorship will be gold.  My online sales will skyrocket. And she gets someone to pay some of the bills.

Howard

But how?

Joe

She's my cousin.

Howard

You never told me that!

Joe

It's a family secret.  I'm rather embarrassed by her, but it might finally be useful to know her.

Howard

I've always wanted to talk to her.

Joe

You want to talk to any woman. 

(Ashley comes out and Howard lifts his comic and goes to hide. Joe goes to the front door and locks it)

Joe (cont.)

I better lock the door before the nerds start swarming.

Ashley

Ew... there's one now.  He's drooling on the window.

(Joe hands her some money)

JOE

Here's your money.  Be nice.

(Ashley smiles and waves and blows a kiss)

JOE (CONT.)

I think you just killed that one.

Ashley

Ready for the photo?

(Joe is looking around for the camera) 

JOE

In a hurry?  Big plans tonight?

ASHLEY

My big plans are to be some where else. Can we close the blinds or something? They're creeping me out.

(Joe motions to Howard who goes to close window blinds. If the nerds outside the door are not seen then Howard can pantomime closing blinds at the end of the stage facing the audience. If the window is at the side of the stage with actors playing the watching nerds, then a real blind can be used. Ninja puts camera near Joe unnoticed.  Joe finds it)

JOE

I want you wearing this sash and holding this comic book.

(Joe gives sash to Ashley)

Ashley

Miss All Knight?

JOE

It's the name of the store "All Knight Novelty."

Ashley

It sounds weird though.

JOE

And here is the comic.

Ashley

Ew!  I don't wanna hold that.  It's gross.

JOE

But she's where the store gets the name from... Knight Princess... she's a warrior princess.  I thought you liked princesses.

Ashley

But look at her outfit.  And what's she doing to that monster.

JOE

I believe she is ripping that zombie a new one.

Ashley

Ew!

JOE

I'll look for one with a better cover.

(Ninja sets out a comic and sprinkles something inside the bag holding the comic. Joe finds it)

JOE (CONT.)

Here we go.  She is all dressed up for her coronation.

(Joe sets up camera on tripod.  Ashley looks at comic)

Ashley

How can she fight in those clothes?  Guy always have tons of armor but the warrior women wear practically nothing to protect their bodies.

JOE

Good point.  I'll shoot off another email to my friends at DC comics.

Ashley

Ready?

JOE

Take the comic out of the bag. The plastic is making a weird reflection.  I'll be right back with another prop.  We need something else to make the picture pop.

(Joe exits.  Ashley opens bag and ninja sneaks up and smashes the end of it so the powder goes up in to Ashley's face.  She coughs violently as if she is going to die.  Joe runs back in and Howard cautiously approaches from his hiding spot)

JOE

What's going on?

Howard

I don't know.

Ashley

Something.. in the comic... my eyes!

JOE

What's wrong with your eyes?

Ashley

I can't see... it got in my eyes... I need help.

JOE

Wash it out with water.

Howard

I'll get some.

(Howard looks around)

Ashley

It hurts so bad.

JOE

Hang on... we'll wash it out.

(Howard finds some bottled water)

Howard

Here.

(Joe splashes water on Ashley's face)

Ashley

Hey!  Idiot!

JOE

That didn't help?

ASHLEY

No!  It still burns and I can't see.

JOE

I'll call 911.

ASHLEY

No, no, no.  The press would be all over it.  Get the family doctor.  He'll come if you get daddy to call him.

JOE

Fine.  I'll call. 

Ashley

Don't leave me alone.

JOE

Howard is here.

Ashley

Howard?

JOE

Howard Rogers.  You know him from school.

Ashley

No.

JOE

Whatever... he's here... say "hi" Howard.

Howard

Hi.

Ashley

Thanks for being here to help, Howard.

(Joe gets out his cell phone and goes upstage to call)

Ashley (Cont.)

You're not that creepy guy outside that drooled on the window and fainted?

Howard

No.

ASHLEY

Oh, good.  So how come I don't remember you from school? 

Howard

I... I don't know.

ASHLEY

You're shy.  That's why.  I think that's so cute.

Howard

Oh...

ASHLEY

Take my hand please and lead me to a chair.

Howard

Sure.

(Howard looks very happy to be holding her hand.  He walks her to a chair - a spot with two chairs and a table).

JOE

Your dad wants me to go pick up the doctor so he gets here quicker... you okay?

ASHLEY

Howard will take good care of me. 

(Joe gives Howard a thumbs up.  Howard smiles)

ASHLEY (CONT.)

Thanks so much for helping me, Howard.  I must look terrible. 

Howard

No, you look... good.

ASHLEY

You're so sweet.  Could you get my purse for me?  I might have eye drops in there.  That could help.

(Ninja grabs her purse)

Howard

Do you remember where you left it?

ASHLEY

No.. silly me.. but I'm sure a smart guy like you can find it.

Howard

Okay...

(Howard searches around for purse as Ashley talks.  During the following, the ninja replaces eye drops with something different that is the same shape but has scary symbol - skull or Mr. Yuck sticker).

ASHLEY

It's nice having a guy around who is so helpful.  I could get used to having someone around who does things for me like this.  I don't mean like a servant but as my special little helper.  Especially if I'm blind now... you think I'll be blind forever?  I wonder if they have Miss Blind USA?  Or maybe I'd be a shoe-in for Miss America if I'm blind.  So this could be a blessing in disguise.  You could be up there on stage with me guiding me around... I wonder if that's against the rules... I could get a cute little guide dog.  People love animals too.  A blind girl with a dog.  I'd win for sure.  Still haven't found my purse?  I wonder where it went to. 

(Ninja has new eye drops in purse.  She avoids Howard and sneaks over to put it next to Ashley)

ASHLEY (CONT.)

I hope Joe didn't take it.  I have no clue why he would but you never know.  You're such a good listener.  I like that.  Most the guys I hang out with just want to talk about themselves.  They love talking about their bodies and their muscles and how they work out all the time or how they won the big game doing a touch basket or a win down or some such stupidity.  Don't you hate it when someone always talks about themselves non-stop?

Ninja wants to kill Ashley by strangling her but Howard turns to return and ninja hides.  Howard sees the purse.  He goes up and gets it.

Howard

I found it.

ASHLEY

Great!  I knew you could do it.  Now find my eye drops. 

(Howard pulls weird silly things from her purse like bows, ribbons, makeup, little stuffed animals until he finds them) 

Howard

This kind of looks like eye drops but...

(Ashley reaches out and Howard gives it to her)

ASHLEY

That feels right.

Howard

You sure?  It has...

ASHLEY

Of course I'm sure silly.  Now let's see if this helps my eyes.

(Ninja watches.  Ashley puts in the drops. Pause.  Ashley screams.  Ninja does a victory dance as Ashley jumps up and stumbles around in pain) 

Howard

What happened?

ASHLEY

It burns!  My eyes are on fire! 

(Ashley screams some more.  Ninja hides being center bookcase. Howard tries to grab her and calm her down but she keeps punching him and knocking him down.  They stumble in to center bookcase where ninja is and it falls on her. Joe and Doctor appear. NOTE: Doctor can be doubled with healing Alien from "Touched by an Alien" or with Alien narrator) 

JOE

What happened?!

Howard

She put... she wanted...

ASHLEY

The pain!

JOE

Your doctor is here, Ashley.

(Ashley stops.  She sniffles and cries a bit still)

ASHLEY

Oh... good... help me, Doc.

DOC

Sit down, please, Miss Anderson.  I have something to clean out your eyes.

(They help her sit.  Doctor has some eye drops)

Ashley

Will it hurt?

DOC

Don't worry.  Head back.

Doc puts in eye drops.  After a few moments, she blinks.

ASHLEY

I can see!

JOE

Thankfully that's over. 

DOC

Home James.

JOE

Joe.

DOc

Whatever.

(Joe to Howard)

Joe

I bet he just made more in a minute than I make in a month.  You and Ashley good?

Howard

I think so.

JOE

Cool.  I'll take my time then.

(Doc and Joe leave.  Ashley gathers up her stuff from her purse0

Howard

Need any help?

ASHLEY

You helped so much, Howard.  Oh...

(Ashley sees Howard and is disappointed)

Howard

What's wrong?

ASHLEY

Well, uh... you're not quite like I imagined.

Howard

Oh... I see.

ASHLEY

You were very nice and helpful.  It was good to have your help.

Howard

Okay.

ASHLEY

I better go clean up.  I bet I'm a mess. 

(Ashley goes back to bathroom.  Howard is sad and sits)

Howard

I can't believe it.  I'm finally brave enough to talk to a girl but when she sees what I look like...

(Ninja manages to pop her head out from under bookshelf)

Ninja

Blind dates rarely work out.

(Howard jumps up)

Howard

Who said that?

Ninja

Over here.  Under the bookshelf.

Howard

Are you okay?

Ninja

I think so... I may have hurt my ankle.

Howard

I'll get that off of you.

ninja

No hurry.  I have plenty to read.

(Howard manages to lift the bookshelf) 

ninja (Cont.)

My knight in shining glasses.  Come to rescue me.  I hate being a damsel in distress.

(He helps ninja over to the chairs)

Howard

Let me see your leg.

ninja

Here.

She gives him her leg.

Howard

Where does it hurt?

ninja

Oh, that's over here.

9She gives him her other leg)

Howard

We should wrap it in something.

ninja

You can use my mask.

(Howard unwraps her mask.  They pause a moment looking at each other shyly)

howard

Mindy?

Ninja

Hi.

howard

You're a ninja.

ninja

Ninja by night.  Nerd by day.

(Howard wraps her ankle)

HOWARD

You're not that nerdy.

ninja

Not compared to you.

howard

Thanks.

NINJA

I'm kidding.

howard

I know I'm a nerd.

NINJA

But being a nerd is awesome.

howard

It is?

NINJA

Yeah... all the rich and powerful people in the world are nerds.  Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Mark Zuckerberg. Nerds rule.

howard

And sports guy get all worn out and their bodies fall apart when they get old.

NINJA

And the rich nerds marry supermodels.

howard

If they're like Ashley, then forget it.

NINJA

They're all like Ashley.

Howard

She thought I was fine until she saw what I looked like.

(Ninja gets quiet)

NINJA

I think you look good.

HOWARD

What?

NINJA

Nothing.

HOWARD

You said something nice, didn't you?

NINJA

Maybe.

They are quiet a moment.

Howard

So how come you're dressed as a ninja?

NINJA

There are a few precious places in this world unspoiled by people like Ashley and this store is one of those places.  I couldn't bare the thought of her ugly mug on a poster hanging in here next to these heroes.  The heroes on these walls fight for justice and the greater good.  To hang up some beauty pageant freak next to these symbols of greatest is an insult to all I believe in.

Howard

Wow... well said.

NINJA

I like talking to you, Howard.

HOWARD

I like you too... I mean talking... I would like to talk.

Ninja laughs.

NINJA

Take it easy, Howard.

Howard

I'm an idiot.

NINJA

You're cute actually.

Howard

What?  No...

NINJA

Take me out for coffee or something.

Howard

When?

NINJA

Now.

Howard

Okay.

NINJA

Let me get my coat.

Ninja runs to back of store.  Howard does a happy victory dance.  Ninja returns and he stops.  She laughs.

NINJA (CONT.)

Let's go.

(As they go...)

Howard

Is it okay if I get tea?  Coffee gives me the runs.

(Ninja laughs)

NINJA

Sure.

After a moment, there is a knocking in the back.

ASHLEY

Hello?  Anyone out there?  Something is blocking the door and I can't get out.  Anyone?  Hello?  Help!

(Alien enters)

ALIEN

Well, Howard didn't get the princess but he did end up with the future designer of the Waggit, a new gadget that everybody will want to buy.  I'm not certain what it does but everyone will want it anyway.  Sometimes love is what makes us do a little extra and be a hero in the life of another.

Alien is about to leave.

ASHLEY

What about me?

ALIEN

I nearly forgot.  So did Ashley learn her lesson?

ASHLEY

I hear voices.  Who's out there?

ALIEN

It's hard to say right now, but she has a long night ahead of her... maybe a light bulb moment will still happen to her.  Until then, she'll simply... be in the dark.

Alien shuts off the lights by clapping his hands.

ASHLEY

Oh, come on!  You're kidding me right.  Let me out of here!

END OF SCENE

Bookshelf is removed and replaces with a bench and large Superman statue or Superman mural on backdrop.

ALIEN

Love... a power that is difficult to control.  Maybe of us seek, some of find it unsure how to harness this amazing power and other lose it, leading to emptiness.  But we never stop searching for this special power that unites us even though it can also tear us apart.  What would you do to find this power inside you?  Would you give up everything and travel the world until you find it? How will your journey begin and end?


MAN OF Metropolis or Love in Metropolis

(Lo is standing by a Superman statue and/or Superman mural looking around at the surrounding town.  Actors and even dogs in Superman costumes can walk through the scene to start the show if extras are available.  She has a camera and takes random pictures from weird angles.  Kent has been watching Lo.  When she sits at a bench near the statue, she appears sad and stressed.  Kent moves in)

Kent

Can I help you?  You look a bit lost.

Lo 

Is this Metropolis?

Kent

The one and only.

LO

I imagined something much bigger.

Kent

Everyone does.

LO

Looks more like Smallville.

Kent

Superman fan?

Lo

Not really. 

Kent

That's a first. I bet you are the first person to visit this town who isn't a fan.

Lo

No other reason to come here?

Kent

Nope.

Lo

So is Superman really from here?

Kent

So they say... Never met him though.. Well maybe I have.. Met a lot of guys dressed like him... But none of them raced bullets or trains. And nobody flew here.  We don't have an airport.

Lo

Huh?  Oh... Joke. 

(Does a courtesy laugh but it's not convincing)

Kent

My name's Kent by the way.

Lo

Kent?  As in Clark Kent?

Kent

If you are a male and born in this town, there is a good chance you'll be named Clark or Kent.

Lo

Oh dear... That has to be weird in school.

Kent

Kal is gaining in popularity though.

Lo

Kal?

Kent

For Kal-El... Superman's real name.

Lo

Is it required in this town to know all Superman facts or are you just a nerd?

Kent

You can't help know this stuff here.. It's everywhere... Menu items, street names, constant puns in the newspaper...

Lo

Does it get annoying?

Kent

Not really... It's kind of nice to have something that makes our town unique.  Something special to call our own... DC comics even made it official on January 21, 1972. Boring you?

Lo

Kind of.

Kent

Can I ask your name?

Lo

People call me Lo.

Kent

Lo?  Short for Lois?

Lo

Nope... That would too weird... although better than my real name... Lola.

Kent

It's a nice name.

Lo

If you say so.

Kent

So you're ok then? Need directions or anything?

Lo

This is where I was going.

Kent

But you're not a fan?

Lo

You bug all the tourists like this?

Kent

That's what we do in Metropolis... Bug tourists... Have to make sure that you're not some villain in disguise out to get Superman... (Lo looks away annoyed) Still not funny... I can take a hint... Have a good visit.

(He slowly goes hoping she will stop him)

Lo

Sorry... I didn't mean to be a pain.

(Kent returns happily)

Kent

You've been traveling... That makes people tired.  I understand.

Lo

I feel like an idiot.

Kent

Why?  A lot of people think Metropolis should be bigger... In fact our founding fathers thought our town would be a city one day being situated on a major river near the junction of four states...

Lo

Enough history okay?

Kent

Sorry... got it... Back to you... Where were we?

Lo

I'm an idiot?

Kent

That's right.  I'm listening.

Lo

Thanks.

Kent

Anytime... So why you feeling bad?

Lo

I came here because of a dream.

Kent

Really?

Lo

I had this dream about Metropolis... It was more like a city but this statue... It's exactly the same.

Kent

You ever see pictures?

Lo

Never. 

Kent

Wild... So why come see it?

Lo

Because of something that happened in my dream... Something that happened at this statue that was pretty wonderful.  Something I'd really like more than anything.

Kent

What?

Lo

It will sound dumb.

Kent

Go ahead.  You can tell me. 

Lo

I fell in love.

Kent

Really?  Under a Superman statue?

Lo

Under this statue.

Kent

You get a good look at the guy?

Lo

He had on a Superman shirt.

KENT

Plenty of those around here.. I have one... Didn't wear it today though... I can go put it on.

Lo

Slow down there, Flash... I don't think you're the guy.

Kent

Oh...

Lo

It can't be the first guy I run in to... That's too lucky... Sorry to hurt your feelings but I don't feel it.  The chemistry.  The dream had a whole lot of chemistry.  And an explosion.

(She gets lost in thought)

Kent

No worries. Maybe I can help. Tell me more about the dream.  Maybe I know the guy.

Lo

Not much more that I remember.  Oh wait.  He had on glasses too. 

Kent

Glasses and superman shirt.  Anything else?

Lo

The other thing about the dream that was really odd was that I felt the urge to cash in my life savings too... Something told me I'd need it for this trip. 

Kent

Your entire life savings.  Is there... in your purse?

Lo

Everything I have is right here.

(They are quiet a minute. Kent is looking at her and she looks away shyly.  Suddenly Kent grabs the purse and runs. Lo jumps up in shock)

Lo (cont.)

Hey! Wait a minute! Wh... what?!  No!  This isn't right!  I come to your stupid town and the first thing that happens is that I'm mugged?  First guy I meet and he's a con man.  Kent the con man.  Ah!  Why am I so stupid?  Don't talk to strangers.  Isn't that what you teach to kids, Superman?  Well, I blew it.  Blabbed to some random dude and he mugs me.  Why did I follow a dream?  I am an idiot. A stupid, dumb bubblehead. 

(She plops down on a bench)

LO (CONT.)

I'm always a victim.  There's not enough heroes in this world.  Not enough Supermans.  Sure, there's bunches of you parading around in costumes, but there's not many real men of steel. Not any willing to take a bullet for me. 

(She jumps up again)

LO (CONT.)

And you know what?!  My life savings was 50 bucks!  How's that for irony?  And my credit cards are maxed out!  Ha!  Jokes on you! 

(Plops down on bench again)

LO (CONT.)

I just want my lucky key chain back.

(Simon, a guy in glasses and a button up shirt, enters with her purse)

Simon

Is this your purse?

(Lo is so stunned she doesn't know what to say)

Simon (CONT.)

I didn't mean to go through your purse but I needed to find an ID or something.  I found your driver's license.  It looks a bit like you... but you're... you're prettier in person.

Lo

Thank you!

(She runs up and hugs him)

Simon

Tough day?

(She lets go of him and nods)

Lo

Very... how did you find it?

Simon

I tripped the guy who was running away with it. 

Lo

You did?

Simon

Kind of on accident.  I'm a bit of a klutz.  But I wouldn't give it back once I got it.  I've known Kent for a long time and when you see him with a purse, you know he's not headed to a superhero cross-dressing competition.

(Lo laughs)

Simon (cont.)

You have a nice laugh.

Lo

I hate my laugh.  I snort.

Simon

It's cute.

Lo

So, you from around here?

Simon

Kind of.  I work at the SuperMuseum.  I wasn't born here but I've lived here for a while.  I stumbled on this little town and fell in love with it.  I kept coming back until I didn't leave again.

Lo

Something just kind of drew you here.

Simon

Give me Metropolis over Chicago any day.

Lo

Chicago sucks.

Simon

And blows.

(They laugh)

Simon (cont.)

Want me to show you around? 

Lo

Sure.  I'd like that.

(She takes his arm)

Simon

We'll do the walking tour.  I left my cape at home.

Lo

You wouldn't happen to have on a superman t-shirt would you?

(As they exit)

Simon

I do actually. Why?

Lo

No reason.

(She has a big smile)

END OF SCENE

(Alien enters and looks at the statue of Superman)

ALIEN

A mighty hero, from another world. He came to protect the people of Earth, but he easily could have come to conquer.  With his power, he could have enslaved an entire planet, yet he chose to come in peace and help the people who cared for him as a child.  It's a wonderful story of first contact, with an alien who loved Earth and changed the world forever.  But not all outsiders come in peace.  All bring change.  Earth has been alone in the universe too long.  At last, there will be first contact.  The moment that would change the lives of everyone on an entire planet forever.  Will it be for the better like the tale of Superman?  Or will be a tale of woe and destruction?  It may all come down to how we greet this first visitor from another world.  Do we extend the hand of kindness, like in the tale of this super man?  Do we comfort the lost child in a time of need?  Or do we react with fear and terror and turn this encounter in to something that will alter reality forever, leading us down a path into the unknown.


princess from another planet

(In darkness)

GENERAL

Fire!

(Bullets, bombs and explosions are heard.  Then silence a moment)

GENERAL (CONT.)

Retreat!

(Lights come up on an Alien Space Princess)

PRINCESS

Veeble brox not!

GENERAL

Send in the translator.

(A nerdy looking Scientist with a bunch of equipment enters. A soldier is along side him protecting him as he sets up his equipment)

PRINCESS

Noow wop not!

(Princess goes toward Scientist)

SOLDIER

You sure that thing is going to work?

SCIENTIST

There's one way to find out.

(Scientist turns on machine)

PRINCESS

Your puny weapons have no effect on me.

SOLDIER

It worked!

SCIENTIST

Can you understand me?

PRINCESS

I understand your words but not your actions.  Why did you attack me?  Why did you insist on destroying what you don't understand?

(Scientist turns to solider)

SCIENTIST

Why were you shooting at her?

SOLDIER

The general told us to.

SCIENTIST

"Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die."

SOLDIER

Huh?

SCIENTIST

Exactly.

(To Scientist)

PRINCESS

You seem different. Are you the wise warrior I seek?

SOLDIER

Warrior?

(He laughs and others can be heard laughing off stage.  Scientist gives them a dirty look)

PRINCESS

Silence!

(She touches her necklace with one hand and makes a motion with the other at soldier and he gets pushed back and falls)

GENERAL

Fire!

SCIENTIST

No! Wait! I'm right here you idiots!

(Princess touches her necklace with one hand and waves her other hand)

PRINCESS

Their weapons are useless now.

GENERAL

Retreat!

(Sound of soldiers, tanks, etc. are heard and then fade away)

SCIENTIST

You appear to be pretty powerful.  Why would you need our help?

PRINCESS

We may have power but we seek wisdom.  My quest has brought me here.  Are you the one?

SCIENTIST

I did graduate at the top of my class at Tech.

PRINCESS

Your Earth accolades are meaningless to me.  What is this about your neck?

SCIENTIST

It's just a space rock I found.  I follow shooting stars and collect meteorites.

PRINCESS

Oh follower of shooting stars. May I see your stone.

SCIENTIST

Uh... sure.

(He hands it to her)

PRINCESS

This is our message.  You found it.  You must be the chosen one. You have the knowledge we need to heal our planet.

SCIENTIST

Hey guys!  I'm the chosen one!

(Soldier laugh off stage)

SCIENTIST (CONT.)

I really hate those guys.

PRINCESS

Do you want me to destroy them?

SCIENTIST

Naw... not now.  Maybe later.

PRINCESS

Why do they mock you?

SCIENTIST

I am a nerd... a loser.

PRINCESS

But you are an inventor.  A creator of new things.  They only destroy. 

SCIENTIST

That's kind of how it goes here.  We invent and they find a way to use it to destroy.

PRINCESS

We will not treat you so on my planet.  Will you join me?  Please come back to my planet and help us?

SCIENTIST

What happened to your planet?

PRINCESS

Our air has turned to poison.  We can no longer breath outside and must hide indoors.  The energy that once gave us light and power now destroys us.

SCIENTIST

Ever try wind or solar power?

PRINCESS

Whatever do you mean?  How can we use the wind and sun?

SCIENTIST

Wow, this will be easy.

PRINCESS

You will be a hero.  You will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams.

SCIENTIST

Seeing those soldier scattered was a pretty good reward.

PRINCESS

I can vaporize them too if you wish.

(She reaches for her necklace)

SCIENTIST

That's very nice of you, but it's not necessary.  I don't want to stoop to their level.

PRINCESS

You are wise.  I have chosen well.  Come with me and save my planet.

(Princess takes Scientist's arm affectionately and Scientist smiles shyly.  Nerdy woman, Lila, rushes on stage)

LILA

Wait, Peter.  Please don't go!

(Princess turns and stands between Scientist and Lila)

PRINCESS

What is the meaning of this?

LILA

That man there is my Peter... He's my boyfriend.

PRINCESS

He is mine now.  He has given himself to me.

(Lila looks very hurt)

LILA

Peter, is that true?

SCIENTIST

She needs my help.  Her planet is in trouble.

LILA

How long will you be gone?

PRINCESS

You may return in a decade or two. 

LILA

What?!  10 years!

PRINCESS

Or twenty.  But I doubt he'll want to return.  We'll reward him handsomely and give him anything he wants.

(Princess goes behind Scientist and touches him lovingly.  Scientist looks pleased)

LILA

How could you do this to me, Peter?

SCIENTIST

Do what?

LILA

Leave me?

SCIENTIST

I'll be back.  Don't worry.

(But he's looking at the Princess all dreamy.  Lila grabs him and pulls him away)

LILA

Stay away from him.  You have him under some kind of spell don't you?

(Lila puts herself between Scientist and Princess)

PRINCESS

How dare you!  You will face my wrath!

(Before the Princess can touch her necklace, Lila jumps forward and grabs the necklace and yanks it off her neck)

PRINCESS (CONT.)

What have you done?!  You fool?

(Scientist shakes his head and is startled when he sees Princess)

SCIENTIST

She looks mad.

PRINCESS

Give those back to me!

LILA

I don't think so.

PRINCESS

You are putting yourselves in terrible danger.  Those jewels channel my power.  Without them, I will lose control.

LILA

I think you lost control long ago.  How dare you try and take my Peter away.

PRINCESS

Please, give them back to me.  If the power in those are released in your world, it will change you all...

LILA

I don't care.  I won't let you take Peter from me.  I'll risk everything to save him.

PRINCESS

You would risk your entire planet for one man.

LILA

Not any man... this man.  He's my world.  I don't need anything else but him.

SCIENTIST

Lila... that's the sweetest thing you ever said to me.

LILA

Quiet.  You're in trouble too mister.

PRINCESS

Please... help me, Peter.  You're my only hope.

LILA

What a drama queen.  Let's go, Peter.

(Peter seems torn)

LILA (CONT.)

I know I'm not perfect, but I do really love you.  She's just going to use you.  Chew you up, take what you have to offer and then spit you out.  You are just a tool to her.  A means to an end and then she'll cast you aside.  You know I'm not like that.  You know I love you for you and not what I can get out of you.  So... what do you chose?  A crazy, wild fling that will end in ruin or simple, true, honest love?

(Lila gives Scientist the jewels and Princess looks hopeful)

SCIENTIST

I chose you, Lila.

(Scientist throws down jewels and stomps on them.  Lila is happy and helps)

PRINCESS

No!  What have you done?!

(Lila and Scientist leave and Princess goes to the jewels)

PRINCESS (CONT.)

You have released their power on your world.  It will change everything as you know it.  It will give some of you powers and make others of you go mad.  Some of you will chose greatness and seek good with your new found power, but others of you will react with fear and anger and go down a path of evil.

(Soldier enters cautiously)

SOLDIER

Princess... you are under arrest.  Please come with me.

PRINCESS

But perhaps there is hope.  Perhaps there is a Phoenix that will rise from these ashes.  I will find a champion among you whose new found powers can be harnessed.

SOLDIER

Yeah, yeah.  Save it for someone who cares.  Let's go, Princess.

PRINCESS

I will have my champion destroy you first.

SOLDIER

General!  She's being mean to me!

(Exit and lights fade to black)


Growing Up Is Hard To Do

(Someone is under a bedroom sheet. He peeks out nervously. He is in pajamas. The sillier the print on the sheet and pajamas the better)

THAD

I feel so strange tonight, waking up in the full moon's light. Something had changed. I am not the same. I'm getting really hairy. More hairy than I thought a man could be. This is rather scary and ...and....my voice is changing toooooo.

(He howls and then slaps his hands over his mouth)

THAD (CONT.)

Was that a howl? And my hands... Look at my nails... did I forget to cut them or are they longer... And sharper than before?

(He struggles with the sheet.... He gets all wrapped up in a panic.  He claws and rips at it)

THAD (CONT.)

Claws! Actual claws!

(He finally gets free of the sheet)

THAD (CONT.)

Mirror? Where's a mirrorrrrrr!

(Big growl)

THAD (CONT.)

Was that a growl? From my stomach? What's there to eat? I could really use some meat.

(Holds his stomach)

THAD (CONT.)

Growing up is so hard to do...

(Reaches back And feels something bulging at his rear)

THAD (CONT.)

....especially when you're growing a tail toooooooo!

(He howls and holds his bottom and carefully scoots off stage)


END OF SCENE


A Werewolf in my bed

Viv sees something under her bed.

VIV

Who's there?

THAD

It's me.

VIV

Thad?  What's going on?

THAD

You know how I said I was going through some changes?

VIV

Yes.

THAD

Well, it happened.

VIV

What?

THAD

I can't say.

VIV

It's ok... We are all going through a lot changes.. We're turning in to adults.

THAD

It's a little more complicated than that.

VIV

Look.. Whatever you are going through... I am here for you... I am willing to listen... I will never give up on you.

(He comes out... He is a werewolf. She screams and runs away.  He sits in bed sadly and starts nibbling on an itch on his arm. She eventually comes back in)

VIV

Sorry about that.

THAD

It's ok... I know I am a freak...

VIV

No no no... But what happened?

THAD

I am a werewolf.

VIV

A howl at the moon werewolf?  But shouldn't you be all crazy slobbery and growling? Do you want to bite me or something?  

THAD

Yes, but not for the reason you might think.

VIV

Am I safe?

THAD

Yes... I can control myself... Well I can't control the hair... But the attitude... I just wanted you to know... In case something happened to me...

VIV

What?  What might happen?

THAD

Dog catcher... Rancher..... Monster hunter. All kinds of dangers.

VIV

There are monster hunters?

THAD

That's why there are not many monsters.

VIV

That's terrible.

THAD

Well... Monsters are called that for a reason.

VIV

But not you... You're a vegetarian!

THAD

That's not easy... I get cravings every full moon.

VIV

I am so sorry... I promise I won't eat meat around you ever again... That must be a terrible temptation... I shouldn't eat meat at all anymore in fact.

THAD

You're so sweet to me.

VIV

You mean so much to me.

(He is struggling)

THAD

I get so itchy.

VIV

Here, I can help.

(She scratches him and he starts thumping his foot)

THAD

Oh yeah. Thank you... That felt really good.

VIV

Your fur is kind of soft... I like how it smells too.

THAD

Really?

(She smells him again)

VIV

Yeah.

THAD

You're not scared anymore... This isn't too weird?

VIV

It is weird and scary but I want to see the best in this... I want to support you... We can get through this together.

THAD

It's something that will always be here... I will never get rid of it.

VIV

It's you and that's all that matters. And I have secrets too... I have baggage too...

THAD

That tops this?

VIV

This isn't a contest. The point is that we support each other no matter what life throws our way... Would you support me if I suddenly became a vampire?

THAD

Werewolves and vampires don't get along very well.

VIV

So you would just dump me?

THAD

No... Never... I would be here for you too... Vampire, zombie, mummy...  Any kind of creature there is inside you... I would still be here for you.

(Viv hugs him)

VIV

I knew you would... You wearing something?  You smell so good.

THAD

Much be a scent I am giving off. Probably means I like you.

VIV

You're not going to start marking your territory are you?

THAD

Hey!

VIV

Just kidding.

THAD

I would never do that to your room... Maybe outside your house... But never inside.

VIV

You marked outside my house?

THAD

Can we change the subject?

VIV

Okay...

(They are quiet)

VIV

So.. Why do you mark your territory?  

THAD

Grrrr.

VIV

Am I your territory?

THAD

Maybe... That creep you out?

VIV

It's kind of romantic.

THAD

Really?

VIV

It makes me feel... Important... Special.

THAD

You are special.

VIV

Special? In what way?

THAD

Special in the best possible way... I knew you were great but I never thought you would be okay with this.

VIV

It won't be easy ... Did this start recently?

THAD

No... For a while... That's why I am never around during a full moon.

VIV

But why tell me now?  Please tell me it's because you want to get more serious.

THAD

I wish... I was worried I might even have to break up.

VIV

No! Why?

THAD

To keep you safe.

VIV

I know you wouldn't hurt me.

THAD

Not from me...

VIV

From other werewolves?

THAD

No, I made sure...

VIV

The marking?  '

(She smiles)

THAD

Can we drop that?

VIV

Fine... So what danger?

THAD

The underground is talking... It could just be a rumor.

VIV

Underground?

THAD

It's a system that keeps us hidden and safe... That's why you so rarely hear about monsters anymore. You get renegades like Bigfoot but overall it is pretty quiet.

VIV

But something happened?

THAD

There is a rumor of a monster hunter... Here in our town.

VIV

Hunter... Like he wants to catch you.

THAD

Worse.

VIV

We have to hide you... We have to keep you safe. Will we have to fight... I can fight.. I am a toughie.

THAD

No, I would never put you in danger.

VIV

That's up to me isn't it?  I am my own person... I can chose.

THAD

But you have no clue what you are choosing... I don't either... I have no clue what we are up against.

VIV

I know one thing.

THAD

What's that?

VIV

That I want to be with you... I never want to let you go... I never want to be without you.

THAD

Then we will face this together.

VIV

Beware all monster hunters... Hurt my Wolfie and prepare to feel my wraith...

THAD

Very scary.

VIV

Really?

THAD

I got shivers.

VIV

See. Iza toughie.

THAD

You have such big muscles too.

VIV

Iza strong.

(She does a pose)

THAD

And pretty.

VIV

Now now... You stop that.

THAD

No, you are very pretty.

VIV

You're full of baloney.

THAD

The prettiest girl in the whole world.

VIV

You're so full of baloney I could make a sandwich out of you.

THAD

Cute... You're very cute too.

VIV

Stop it.  No.  Toughie.

(Viv does her pose)

THAD

You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

VIV

Me too.

(They look at each other... Wanting to kiss but not sure how. Gun shot is heard... They dive for cover)

VIV

What was that? Firecracker?  Car backfire?

THAD

I hope so.

END OF SCENE


Dreaming of Dragons

Viv

What do you dream about? I dream about dragons.  All the time.  I know they're not real but I want them to be.  Sure, most girls dream of unicorns but I... I love dragons... And fire.

I want to ride my dreams in to the night sky and fly over the moon. 

Dragons live in dreams.  But what if we could make our dreams real? I could fly away from here and never come back.  Leave a world of worries behind.

Does that mean the nightmares would be real too?  Maybe.  It's not worth it then.  My nightmares are pretty bad. 

I'll keep the dragons in my dreams. I don't need any more nightmares in my life.

END OF SCENE


Chocolate and Kisses

(Dougie wants to get a chocolate bar he dropped out in traffic.  Dougie wanders around off balance as the sounds of cars zip by honking.  Rescue Woman rushes in saves him and takes him to sidewalk safely.  Dougie enjoys being held by her)

DOUGIE

You saved me.

RESCUE

You were in quite a jam there.

DOUGIE

Are you...

(Rescue Woman does a proud stance)

RESCUE

Rescue Woman!

DOUGIE

Awesome!

RESCUE

I know.

DOUGIE

Wow! You're like prettier in person than in your pictures. 

(Rescue Woman poses for him)

DOUGIE (CONT.)

I mean your pictures are totally hot but in person... yow!

RESCUE

I know.

DOUGIE

Can I get a picture with you?

RESCUE

Of course.

(Dougie gets out a strange looking camera.  He gets next to her for a selfie. He does a funny pose next to her and takes a picture with the camera which has a bright flash.  Rescue Woman suddenly looks faint)

DOUGIE

You okay?

RESCUE

I feel strange. Wait... what's going on?

(She falls to her knees weakly.  Dougie giggles and Super Sheila enters and laughs an evil laugh)

SHEILA

Muwhahahaha!

RESCUE

What is this?

SHEILA

I know your weakness Rescue Woman.  That camera flash exposed you to Gamma radiation.

RESCUE

No!

SHEILA

It cancels out your powers.

RESCUE

Who are you?

SHEILA

I am Super Sheila!  Muwhahahah!  Science over supers!

RESCUE

Super Sheila... Isn't that super girl? There already is one. Shouldn't you be Sheila the Science Skank (or Skunk) or something.

SHEILA

Skunk?

RESCUE

Because you stink.

(DOUGIE sniffs SHEILA)

DOUGIE

She smells good to me.

RESCUE

You're creepy.

DOUGIE

I know.

SHEILA

I like creepy.

DOUGIE

And I like sexy. And you's super sexy Sheila.

RESCUE

That would be a better name too.

SHEILA

I'll consider it.

DOUGIE

Hee hee. Super Sexy.

SHEILA

You're a good minion Dougie.  Here's your chocolates.

DOUGIE

I like chocolates.  But I like kisses better.

SHEILA

Not now... not in front of the victim.

RESCUE

What do you plan to do with me?

SHEILA

Well... I suppose when the gamma radiation wears off you'll get your powers back. 

RESCUE

Yes.

SHEILA

So we'll have to dispose of you quickly.

DOUGIE

Quick, quick, quickly!

SHEILA

Keep an eye on her for me, Dougie, while I check my gadget for something special for her.

DOUGIE

Special. Oh, I like the sound of that.

SHEILA

That's because you're special too.  Now watch her and you'll get another chocolate.

DOUGIE

And a kiss?

SHEILA

Only if you're extra special.

DOUGIE

I'll be extra special.  I promise.  Cross my heart.  Hope she dies.

(Dougie points at Rescue Woman on the last part and giggles.  Sheila does an evil laugh and exits)

RESCUE

Oh, Dougie... you seem like a simple soul.  Why are you with such an evil person?

DOUGIE

I like Sheila.  She's... SEXY!

RESCUE

Wouldn't you rather be helping people?  Doing something good?

(Dougie thinks a moment.  It looks like it hurts to think)

DOUGIE

Ummm... no.  Sheila's fun.

RESCUE

Looks like you get plenty of chocolate from her.

DOUGIE

Yes, I do... yummy in my tummy.

RESCUE

I could give you kisses.

DOUGIE

Hmmm... no.  Only Sheila kisses for Dougie.

RESCUE

Does Sheila give you lots of kisses?

DOUGIE

Hmmm.... no.  I have to sneak my kisses... when she is asleep I sneak kisses... and when she is watching her favorite shows.

RESCUE

Let me go and I can give you lots of kisses.

DOUGIE

No.

RESCUE

Oh... how about something shiny?

DOUGIE

Shiny? And sparkly?

RESCUE

Very sparkly.

DOUGIE

Okay... show me.

RESCUE

Just come closer.

(Dougie looks around nervously and moves a little closer)

DOUGIE

Oh... I love sparklies.

RESCUE

Close your eyes and I'll give it to you.

(Dougie closes his eyes and sticks out his hands.  Rescue Woman sneaks away off stage.  Dougie is there alone for a moment.  Sheila enters and sees Rescue is gone.  She goes up to him angrily) 

SHEILA

Where is she?!

DOUGIE

Oh... oh... she promised me a sparkly.

SHEILA

You idiot!

DOUGIE

Sheila mad. Dougie bad.

SHEILA

Don't cry Dougie.  I hate it when you cry.

DOUGIE

Dougie bad?!

SHEILA

Would you stop crying for a chocolate?

DOUGLIE

Dougie super bad!

SHEILA

Would you stop crying for a kiss?

(Dougie stops crying and nods)

DOUGIE

Dougie likes kisses.

SHEILA

Close your eyes.

DOUGIE

Okay.

(Dougie closes his eyes and makes kissy lips)

SHEILA

Come closer.

(Dougie scoots forward with kissy lips)

(She claps the connector of her new machine to his lips.  Dougie opens is eyes, startled.

She turns on the machine and Dougie is shocked.  He spazzes out and then falls to the ground.  Sheila leaves.  Dougie finally says:)

DOUGIE

Wow!  What a kiss!

END OF SCENE


SUPERHERO SUPPORT GROUP

(Spotlight comes up on a Superhero, Speedo, sitting in a chair.  A figure sits near him but in the darkness)

SPEEDO

I'm fast... so fast no one can see me.  I thought I had something special... something I could help people with, but it ended up being a joke.  Everyone started calling me Speedo.  That's one of them guy's swim suits... not a flattering one either... Have you seen a guy in a speedo?  Yuck.

DOCTOR

How fast are you?

SPEEDO

You know that pen that was in your pocket a second ago?  Here it is.

DOCTOR

That is fast.

(Doctor thinks)

DOCTOR (CONT.)

How about a chocolate fudge candy bar... wait... with almonds.

(Speedo holds it out to her)

SPEEDO

That's what everyone wants me to do... fetch stuff... I should be called Errand Boy.

DOCTOR

And that's why you want to get rid of your power... this burden that haunts you... it ruins your life.

SPEEDO

Yes.

DOCTOR

I can do that for you... I can take away this hardship in your life... this curse... forever.

(*Dramatic superhero music* Speedo and Doctor exit)

Scene 1. Waiting room. Day.

(Lights come up on a group of people dressed as superheroes sitting in a row of chairs in a waiting room)

DOGBOY

Rough.

CATCHICK

Hiss.

DOGBOY

I wasn't barking.

CATCHICK

Oh.

DOGBOY

I was thinking how rough of a day I've had.

CATCHICK

That's why you're here.

DOGBOY

But I have things to do... crime to fight.  I can't wait around here all day.

CATCHICK

You don't have a choice.

SMACK

I can't take it anymore!  I have to get out of here.

(Doctor enters)

DOCTOR

Sit down.

SMACK

You can't stop me.  I'm Smack the Superstrong!  I will smite you!

DOGBOY

Nice tagline!

(Smack swings at Doctor but she backs away and then grabs his ear and twists.  Smack falls to the floor in pain)

DOCTOR

There will be no smiting, nor biting.

DOGBOY

Grrr!

DOCTOR

Nor scratching.

CATCHICK

Hisss!

DOCTOR

Everyone please wait your turn and no more disturbances.

(Doctor lets go of Smack.  There is a ding and Doctor exits)

DOGBOY

How did she stop you? 

SMACK

I don't know.

CATCHICK

Mind powers.  She's got mind powers more powerful than you can imagine.

(Shade comes from behind the chairs)

SHADE

Our powers are useless around her.

DOGBOY

Where'd you come from?

SHADE

I am Shade.  I came from the shadows.

CATCHICK

More like from behind the chairs.  How long have you been back there?

SHADE

Long enough to know what's going on here.

DOGBOY

What is going on?

SHADE

The doctor is removing our powers.

SMACK

What?

SHADE

Not only can she stop us.  She can take away our powers... (dramatic pause) ...forever!

DOGBOY

Nice dramatic pause.

SMACK

This is terrible.  I'd be nothing without my super strength!  I can't go back to being some loser working at D-Mart. 

CATCHICK

Personally I'm tired of all the hairballs.  She can have my powers. 

DOGBOY

I do get tired of smelling everything. 

(DOGBOY sniffs around and looks at Shade and makes a face)

DOGBOY (CONT.)

You smell like you've been hiding there a LONG time. 

SHADE

We have to escape.

SMACK

Or smite the doc!

DOGBOY

But how?

SHADE

Shhh!  She's coming!

(Shade hides behind the chairs.  The others sit in their chairs.  The Doctor enters with another superhero)

DOCTOR

You'll never have to worry about flying again.

CAPER

I guess it's time to hang up my cape.

DOCTOR

Stay off the rooftops. Or we'll have to have another session.

CAPER

I'm done.  Please.  I promise.

DOCTOR

Very well.  No need to schedule a followup then.

CAPER

Please.  Never again. 

DOCTOR

Next!

(Catchick stands.  Dogboy grabs her arm but she hisses and pulls away)

CATCHICK

Look.  I want to be able to go the beach without getting the urge to use the bathroom.  I want to go swimming again.  I am tired of all those naps.  Please doctor.  Take me next.

DOCTOR

Walk this way.

(Catchick follows Doctor off.  Caper starts to go but Smack grabs him.  Shade comes out)

SMACK

The doctor took your powers!

CAPER

I think so.

SHADE

Try flying.

CAPER

No, I promised.

SHADE

Get on that chair and try.

CAPER

I don't want to go back in there.  I promised never to fly again. I won't do it.  Please don't make me. It was horrible.

SMACK

What did the doctor do?

CAPER

I can't say.  It... it was too terrible.

SHADE

Get on that chair.  I must know if she really took your powers.

CAPER

No.

SHADE

Do it or else.

CAPER

Or else what?

SHADE

I'll haunt you until the day you die.  You know I can be pretty scary.

CAPER

The doctor is scary.  You're just super annoying.  Fine.  Then you'll let me go?

SHADE

Of course.

(Caper gets on a chair.  They watch and Caper jumps and falls)

CAPER

There.  Happy?

SHADE

The Doctor did it.  She really can take our powers.

(Smack grabs Caper)

SMACK

Let's try the window to be sure.

(Smack throws Caper through a window.  He sticks his head out.  Caper screams.  Then there is a thud)

SMACK (Cont.)

Nope. Can't fly. 

DOGBOY

Did you have to do that?

SMACK

Yes, yes I did.

SHADE

We had to make sure his powers were really gone or if it was the temporary power jam of being near the doctor.

(Dogboy looks out window)

DOGBOY

But still... did you have to do that? 

SMACK

He landed on that old lady.  He'll live.

DOGBOY

What about the old lady?

SMACK

Good point.

(Doctor comes out)

DOCTOR

I saw something out my window that concerned me.

(Shade points at Smack)

SHADE

He did it.

(Shade runs and hides behind chairs)

DOCTOR

Are we a little out of control?

SMACK

Yes you are.  It's smiting time!

(Everyone goes in to slow motion.  Smack swings slowly at the Doctor who dodges slowly. Smack falls past doctor who gives him a vulcan neck pinch.  Everything goes back the regular motion and Smack passes out.  Shade jumps up and points)

SHADE

Alien!  The doctor is an alien.  That was an alien neck pinch.

DOCTOR

Do I need to do it to you too?

SHADE

No, no... fading away.

(Shade goes behind chairs)

DOGBOY

What is going on here?

DoCTOR

You all have a problem and I have the cure. 

DOGBOY

Problem?

DOCTOR

Don't you feel a great burden?  Don't you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders?  You feel like you have to deal with all the world's evils.  But I can change all that.  No more burdens.  No more worries.

(There is a ding.  Doctor leaves)

SHADE

Don't listen to the Doctor.  It's part of the mind control.  You must resist.

DOGBOY

I understand what she means though.  It gets so hard sometimes.  I feel like there is so much evil in the world and there's nothing I can do to defeat it.

SHADE

Snap out of it!

(Shade slaps Dogboy)

DOGBOY

Grr!

(Doctor comes out with Catchick)

DOCTOR

How do you feel?

CATCHICK

Awesome!  I'm going surfing!  Hang ten dudes!

(Catchick steps on Smack and exits.  Smack wakes up all dazed.  Dogboy helps him in to a chair)

DOCTOR

The weight of the world is off her shoulders.  She's happy now.

SHADE

Being a hero isn't about happiness.  

DOCTOR

Then what is it about?

SHADE

It's about changing the world and making it a better place.

DOCTOR

And have you changed the world?  Is it a better place?

SHADE

Well, not yet.

DOCTOR

Anyone can change the world.  You don't have to have superpowers.

SHADE

I am sooo tired of hearing about that Batguy.  Give me a few billion dollars for gadgets and I'd be pretty powerful too.

DOCTOR

I'm saying that ordinary people can make a difference in this world.

(The heroes look at each other a moment and then laugh)

SHADE

Ordinary people... making a difference?  HA!

DOCTOR

What about teachers, nurses, police officers?  They all make a difference.

SMACK

Uh...

DOGBOY

She's got a point.

SHADE

Don't listen to her.  She's twisting your minds.

DOCTOR

Or maybe I'm the hero and I'm the one fixing problems.

SMACK

Uh... I hate thinking.  My brain hurts.  Too much talking.  Not enough smiting.

SHADE

Blah, blah, blah... her words will destroy us!

DOCTOR

Or maybe they'll make you better.

SHADE

You'll have to catch me first.

(Shade jumps behind chairs again)

DOCTOR

So who's next?

DOGBOY

Will the world really be okay without Supers?

DOCTOR

It's time for the world to solve their own problems. 

DOGBOY

People are so demanding.  Always wanting more and more.  Now they just expect me to help.  They hardly ever say thank you anymore. 

SMACK

Lift this, crush that, open that jar... I feel so used sometimes.

DOGBOY

A friendly thank you would do or even a nice greeting card.

SMACK

Or cookies.  I wish someone would bake me some cookies.  That would be all the thanks I need.

(Dogboy and Smack start to tear up)

DOCTOR

Supers are the ultimate co-dependents.  Always looking for problems.  Never happy if there isn't a crisis.  Getting themselves involved with demanding citizens who don't appreciate them for who they are.  You can never do enough to please them.

(Dogboy and Smack are crying loudly now)

DOGBOY

It's true.  It's never enough.

DOCTOR

Come in, friends.  We'll take care of all this for you.  No more stress.  No more worries.

(Doctor takes Dogboy and Smack in to office.  Shade comes out of hiding) 

SHADE

And then there was one.  We have finally met our match. 

(Lights fade to black)

SCENE 2

In the waiting room, Catchick now sits no longer in her costume.  She looks like an ordinary citizen.  Dogboy enters, also looking like a regular person.

DOGBOY

Hey there.  How are you?

CATCHICK

Fine.

(Dogboy is willing to chat but Catchick is not.  She looks at a magazine.  Smack enters looking normal as well but very grumpy.  Smack sits next to Dogboy)

DOGBOY (CONT.)

Hey. Do any good smiting lately?

SMACK

No... do I know you?

DOGBOY

I'm... I was... Dogboy.

SMACK

So, how are things for you?

DOGBOY

I'm not chasing cars anymore.  That's been nice.  How are you?

SMACK

Horrible.  Lost my job.

DOGBOY

What?  Why?

SMACK

I was a security guard at a carnival.  But losing my superness made me lose my edge.  I just couldn't do my job anymore.  It's like I lost something... a piece of myself that made me better...

CATCHICK

Your spirit.

SMACK

Yeah!

CATCHICK

Our spirit, our mojo... gone.

DOGBOY

So... you're not okay?

CATCHICK

I'm having a hard time fitting in.  It's hard to be normal.

SMACK

Totally.  Being crazy was so much easier. 

CATCHICK

At least I had an identity.  I don't even know who I am now.

SMACK

Totally.

CATCHICK

What about you Dogboy?

DOGBOY

Doug.  My name is Doug.

CATCHICK

So how is life... Doug?

DOGBOY

It's been better.  It's not perfect but it's been better.  I'm not living in my parent's basement anymore.  I have a job.  Not a great job but I feel good taking care of myself.  I got so wrapped up in helping others I wasn't helping myself, but now I am.  And I feel better and people are treating me better too.

CATCHICK

Must be nice.

DOGBOY

But I thought you were happy going to the beach, surfing... no more hairballs?

CATCHICK

But I can't swim.  Nearly drowned.  And when I did learn to swim... there was this shark.  Catchick would have had that shark for lunch but as Sissy Jones, I was nearly eaten.

SMACK

Sissy?

CATCHICK

Yes, my real name is Sissy.  I hate it.

SMACK

My real name is Marvin.  The name Marvin strikes fear in no one.

DOGBOY

So you both miss being Supers?

SMACK

I miss being special.

(Shade appears from behind the chairs)

SHADE

Then be super again.

(Dogboy and Smack jump up in surprise)

DOGBOY

You're still hiding?

SHADE

I'm trying to bring down the doctor and her evil plan to rid the world of Supers.

CATCHICK

But we're not Supers.  We're all a bunch of nut jobs.

SHADE

That's what she wants you to think.

(Doctor enters.  Shade hides)

DOCTOR

Thank you all for coming to the support group today.  We'll meet out here today.  Have a seat everyone. I want to all talk together so we can help each other.

(Doctor and others put chairs in a half circle.  Shade's hiding spot is revealed)

DOCTOR (CONT.)

Please join us, Jack.

SMACK

Jack?  Dang... cool name.

SHADE

I am the Shade!

DOCTOR

Jack here hasn't been through the same therapy as the rest of you.  You have to be willing to change for the therapy to work, but I was hoping if he saw how well the rest of you were doing, then he'd be convinced this is for the best.

SHADE

You'll never defeat me, Doctor.  Never!

DOCTOR

Then you won't mind sitting and listening if you have nothing to fear.

SHADE

Fear?  I'm not afraid.

DOCTOR

Prove it.  Sit.

(Shade reluctantly joins the others in the half circle and sits)

DOCTOR (CONT.)

I appreciate you all coming today.  I've formed this support group to help you through this transition period to a normal life.

CATCHICK

What is this?  Crazy Anonymous?

SHADE

Super Anonymous.  Amazing Anonymous.  League of Extraordinary Anonymity.

SMACK

Cool.

DOCTOR

Not cool.  No leagues.  Nothing amazing... just regular people sitting down together.

CATCHICK

Amazing was so much better.

SMACK

I lost my job, Doc.  How is that good?

DOCTOR

It takes time.

SMACK

Time?  Much longer and I'll be living in a box.

SHADE

See Doctor.  Your evil plan only brings doom upon us.

DOCTOR

You don't feel doomed, do you Doug?

DOGBOY

No... things are a little better.

SHADE

But not special.

CATCHICK

Exactly... people might have thought I was crazy but they respected me.

SMACK

R-E-C-T-P... that's what it means to me... you said it, sister.

DOCTOR

Sissy.

SMACK

Whatever.

CATCHICK

And I felt like I had a purpose.  Now I feel empty.

DOCTOR

That's why we're here.  To fill you with something new.

SHADE

More experiments!  I knew it! She'll replace our blood with alien goo!

DOCTOR

I have developed a twelve step program for all of you.

CATCHICK

You're kidding, right?

DOCTOR

Step one... we admit we do not have super powers and that believe in super powers had made our lives unmanageable.

SMACK

Too many words.

CATCHICK

But some of our lives are not better.

DOCTOR

They will be soon.

(Caper bursts in to the room)

CAPER

Where is the doctor?!

CATCHICK

Another satisfied customer.

DOCTOR

What seems to be the matter?  Are you here to join our group?

CAPER

You ruined my life.

CATCHICK

That is the theme of the day.

DOCTOR

Now Carl.  Calm down and join the circle.

CAPER

Your circle of evil!

SHADE

Well said.

CAPER

Shut up!  All of you.  Just shut... up!

SMACK

Good rage. Nice.

CAPER

You all prattle on like villains. 

CATCHICK

Hey now!

CAPER

Zip it!

CATCHICK

Or else what fly boy?

CAPER

Or this!

(He throws open his cape and reveals a bomb.  Everyone jumps up and backs away)

DOCTOR

Carl, please.  Let's talk about this.

CAPER

Talk, talk, talk. That's all you do... talk, talk, talk... so much my head hurts! Now it's my turn. Tick, talk, tick, talk. 

SHADE

Nice play on words.

CAPER

Thanks.  I should have listened to you Shade.  You were right about the doctor here.  She's pure evil. 

SHADE

Let's take her in.

CAPER

No, I'm going to be rid of her forever.  Rid of all of you.  Throwing me out a window.  How could you?!

SHADE

You don't need to kill anyone.  We'll let justice take it's course.

CAPER

They need proof, Shade.  They need evidence.  She'll just sweet talk her way out of it. 

DOCTOR

Carl, I'm a doctor... nothing else.

(CAPER holds up trigger for bomb)

CAPER

Tick, talk! Tick, talk!

CATCHICK

Doc... I think that's your cue to shut up!

CAPER

You can go, Shade.  I have no quarrel with you.

(Shade pauses and looks at others.  They look at him pleadingly)

SHADE

Okay.

(Shade runs out)

CATCHICK

Some hero he turned out to be.

CAPER

Now, Doc.  Give us back our powers.

DOCTOR

I can't.

CAPER

Liar!

SMACK

Don't make him angry, Doc.

(During all this, Dogboy is making his way around behind Caper unnoticed)

CAPER

I'm way past angry.  I'm beyond rage.

SMACK

He got my power!

CAPER

I'm ready blow you all sky high... it's your play, Doctor.

CATCHICK

Do something, Doc!

DOCTOR

Let the rest of them go, Carl...

CAPER

Caper!  Call me Caper.

DOCTOR

I refuse to call you by a name that isn't you.

CATCHICK

Come on, Doc!  Humor the guy.

DOCTOR

I refuse to back down on my principles even in the face of death...

CATCHICk

Great. 

CAPER

The Doctor is trying score points for the afterlife which she'll soon be seeing.

(Caper holds up the trigger with a shaking hand.  Catchick sees Dogboy circling and helps distract Caper)

Catchick

Wait!  Can I have one last request?

CAPER

What?

CATCHICK

I'm young... I haven't lived my life. 

CAPER

What are you talking about?

CATCHICK

There's so much life I want to live.  So much I want to do... did I really do you such a wrong that I can't have one little request before I die.

CAPER

I don't know...

CATCHICK

Please...

CAPER

What is it?

CATCHICK

It's embarrassing... can I whisper it in your ear?

CAPER

Um... I guess so...

(Catchick leans in to whisper in his ear and gets hold of his arm.  Dogboy makes his move.  Sirens are heard)

CAPER (CONT.)

Sirens!  Shade!

CATCHICK

Now!

(Catchick wrestles Caper's arm and Dogboy tackles Caper to the ground.  The Doctor cowers between some chairs)

DOGBOY

Got him!

(Smash is at the window)

SMASH

Shade brought the cops.

(Dogboy struggles to get bomb off)

DOGBOY

Come hold this guy down for us, Smash.

SMASH

I'll do you one better.

(Smash comes over and rips bomb off Caper, picks him up, carries him to window)

CAPER

No!  Wait!

SMASH

Tic toc, times up!

(Smash tosses him out the window.  Catchick runs to window)

CATCHICK

Catch coppers!

(Dogboy, Catchick and Smash laugh and cheer)

DOGBOY

We should form a team!

CATCHICK

The Superhero Support Group.

SMASH

I like it.

(They notice the Doctor cowering trying to make chairs in to a little fort)

DOGBOY

She doesn't look so good.

CATCHICK

She needs a doctor.

(They laugh and exit to dramatic superhero music.  As lights fade)

DOCTOR

I'll get you next time.

(Doctor starts with a weak crazy laugh that gets stronger and stronger as the lights go to black until it amplifies and echoes)

THE END


SUPER Dead Man

(In darkness, a huge blast is heard and a cry of pain and then a huge crash like something hit the ground.  Lights come up on a small crater with a superhero lying in the middle of it.  People rush out to see.  A shocked lady is standing with half a leash next to the crater)

GEM

What in the holy high heck happened here?

HANK

Is that?

GEM

It is!

HANK

That super hero guy?  The one we keep hearing about in the news?

WiNNY

My... my...

(She bursts out crying)

GEM

Did he land on your dog?

WINNY

Uh-huh.

GEM

You poor thing.

WINNY

My... my Boopsie!

(Gem hugs Winny)

HANK

He must have fallen down from pretty high to make this size crater.

GEM

I hear he's strong.  Maybe it's just cause he's strong that he made such a big hole.

WINNY

And crushed my Boopsie!

HANK

I wonder what he was doing up there?

(Sidekick runs in)

SIDEKICK

No!!!!!

(Sidekick dramatically falls at superhero's side)

GEM

Hey, you know what happened?

WINNY

Why did he fall on my doggy?  That was a registered Chow Chow.  She won prizes.  But not any more.

(Winny cries)

SIDEKICK

Have some respect lady?  This was the Earth's greatest hero!  Do you know how many times he saved this planet?

HANK

Nope... no clue. 

GEM

Can't recall.

SIDEKICK

You're kidding right?  You don't know about the aliens?

HANK

Aliens?  Really?

SIDEKICK

Or the asteroid?

GEM

Must have missed that on the news.

HANK

You watch the news? 

GEM

Entertainment Tonight... The Daily Show... Late Late Show... those count.

SIDEKICK

No!

HANK

I love the Late Late Show.

GEM

That skeleton is hilarious. 

(HANK and GEM laugh, hold out their right arms and shake their right hands limply)

SIDEKICK

What is wrong with you people?!

WINNY

Can't you see we're upset?  Have you no respect?  It's not easy losing a pet, is it?

SIDEKICK

This wasn't a pet!  He was the best thing that ever happened to this planet... and now... he's...

HANK

Toast.

GEM

A hero pancake.

HANK

Hero speed bump.

SIDEKICK

Stop it!

GEM

Touchy touchy. 

WINNY

So you're affiliated with this person?

SIDEKICK

Yes.

WINNY

Then you will be hearing from my lawyer!

SIDEKICK

What?!

WINNY

Your associate killed my prize dog and now I demand justice.

SIDEKICK

Why do we even bother?  You people make me sick.  The one person who kept you safe from all the dangers in the universe and all you can worry about is your stupid dog!  And make jokes!  Why did he even bother saving you people.  You all deserve to die!

(They all look at Sidekick in shock.  They are all quiet for a bit.  A police officer enters in a hurry)

WINNY

Thank goodness, officer.  You must arrest this person!

(Officer points gun at Sidekick)

OFFICER

This the killer?

SIDEKICK

No!  I'm his sidekick. 

OFFICER

Sidekick?  What's that mean?  That slang for something.

(GEM and HANK snicker.  Officer smiles like he made a good joke)

SIDEKICK

Come on!  This is serious!

WINNY

I would say so.  Officer... this person killed my dog.

OFFICER

What?  Is this true?

SIDEKICK

Isn't anyone worried about a mighty hero is dead here?

OFFICER

Not if he killed some dog, I'm not.  That's animal cruelty.

HANK

And hunting without a license.

GEM

Dog-a-cide!

SIDEKICK

No! No! No!  He's the good guy.  He saves people.

OFFICER

There's no excuse for animal abuse. 

SIDEKICK

I... what?!  No!

OFFICER

You part of this?

SIDEKICK

Me?

WINNY

That's his partner.

OFFICER

Partner in crime?

SIDEKICK

I can't believe this is happening.  You're all a bunch of stupid, idiotic imbeciles!

OFFICER

Who you calling stupid?

SIDEKICK

That's it!  I'm done being a hero!  I quit!

(Sidekick rips off mask, throws it down on super person in crater and stomps away) 

WINNY

Aren't you going to arrest anyone?

OFFICER

I don't think I can cuff that one in the crater.  Not sure I see an arm left.

WINNY

What about the other one? 

OFFICER

I suppose I could.

WINNY

Quit supposing and do it!

OFFICER

Geez lady.  Fine.  I'm going.

(Officer exits after Sidekick)

(Evil laugh is heard. Mezmero enters in a cool looking villain uniform with a helmet covering his face. Darth Vader type breathing comes from his helmet. Hank and Gem are impressed)

HANK

Now that's impressive.

GEM

Totally.

MEZMERO

I know.

(He flips open or removes his helmet and does an evil laugh again. Hank and Gem are so impressed they clap)

MEZMERO

Please... Control yourselves.

GEM

Sorry... You're just so...

MEZMERO

Handsome? Awesome? Amazing?

HANK

Cool!

MEZMERO

Of course.

(Sidekick runs in a yells)

SIDEKICK

No! Not Mezmero! I should have known you were behind this!

GEM

Isn't he impressive?

SIDEKICK

He's pure evil!

MEZMERO

You say the sweetest things.

SIDEKICK

But good should win in the end. Evil can't win. That's impossible.

MEZMERO

Get used to it, kid. Can't you hear the winds of change?

(Mezmero does a heroic stance and farts. Gem and Hank laugh.  Sidekick waves hand at the smell)

SIDEKICK

Evil!

(Mezmero does an evil laugh)

(Officer enters and Sidekick screams and runs away. Officer  chases Sidekick)

(GEM and hank go up to Mezmero)

GEM

Can we get a picture with you?

MEZMERO

Certainly.

They do silly poses with him.

HANK

Thanks! These will be awesome on tweetface.

MEZMERO

Be sure to tag them with #mezmeroisevil that will link it to my fan club

GEM

Sure!

HANK

Bad guys are so cool.

(Gem and hank exit. Mezmero stands over super dead man)

MEZMERO

I finally did it. I finally beat you. And all I had to do is NOT reveal my evil plan. Why do we villains always do that? Why do we have this strange need to tell you all our devious plots before we do them? That always gives you time for that last minute save... That last minute effort that gets you through... Or perhaps we reveal some flaw in our plan you are able to exploit. Not this time. This time it was kill first, gloat later. This is so much better. I get to brag now. Bragging is so much better than revealing the plan. Time for a victory dance on your grave!

(Mezmero does a dance around super dead mans hole in the ground. A kid, DAVID, enters)

DAVID

Stop that!

(Mezmero stops)

MEZMERO

What's wrong kid?

DAVID

Show some respect, creep.

MEZMERO

Beat it kid. I am having a moment. You're harshing my buzz.

DAVID

You are a bad bad person.

MEZMERO

Yes.

DAVID

And you killed a very great man.

MEZMERO

Great? A great pain in the asteroid.

DAVID

He was trying to help the world. You were trying to destroy it.

MEZMERO

Too late kid. No one cares. All they see is how amazing I am. It's all about appearances. No one remembers an old hero the minute something new cool and interesting comes along. He's yesterday's news... And tomorrow's garbage.

(Mezmero laughs at his own joke)

DAVID

Stop that!

(DAVID sprays something at Mezmero. Mezmero coughs)

MEZMERO

What was that?

DAVID

Pepper spray.

MEZMERO

No!

(Mezmero coughs... Has asthma)

MEZMERO

Where's my inhaler?

DAVID

Not so tough now huh?

MEZMERO

You... You...

DAVID

Yes?

MEZMERO

You're... Evil...

(Mezmero dies and falls in to hole with super dead man)

DAVID

Never take off your helmet dude. Your only weakness. Everyone knows that. You all have a weakness don't you. Some fatal flaw. Super dead man's was a rare Amazon frog poison that every bad guy always seems to dig up. Yours was breathing... Yet you always take off your helmet... Talking is every bad man's weakness. The more super you are, the harder you fall.

(Picks up Mezmero's helmet)

DAVID (CONT.)

Evil huh? Mezmero called me evil. Perhaps we are all a little evil... Battling the good inside us...which side of me won... Did I do the greater good? Does the end justify the means? Or was what I did just as evil?

(Sidekick runs in)

SIDEKICK

You did it!  You stopped Mezmero!  Way to go kid!

DAVID

Beat it loser.

(David puts on helmet and leaves)

SIDEKICK

Geez.  Who are you?  Emo-boy?  What's your power?  Are you sadder than a speeding bullet?  Able to depress people in a single bound?  You're like opposite that evil clown villain.  Hey, you could defeat him.  That's a great idea.  You should do battle.  Hey!  Don't you need a sidekick?

(Sidekick follows David off.  Officer enters out of breath.  Tries to call out after Sidekick but bends over unable to speak.  Officer sits by the hole.  Finally can talk again after a bit)

OFFICER

What a mess.  That's the problem with you supers.  Always leaving a super mess for us to clean up.  Things were so much simpler before all you supers arrived.  Seems like when you're all fighting, things get a whole lot worse.  Would those villains really be messing so much up if they didn't have one of you super guys to beat?  Do you supers have to break so much to get the bad guy.  Good vs. evil used be about detecting stuff and solving the mystery.  Now it's about blowing things up and who can leave the biggest hole in the ground. Give me a few good police officers any day of the week.

END OF SCRIPT

CLOSING MONOLOGUE

ALIEN

In the end, what kind of heroes do we desire?  Ones who become better than us or ones we can become?  There are heroes all around us, doing things every day to make our lives a little better. These heroes are normal people with no super powers but are super in other ways. So what path will you chose?  Will you be an ordinary hero who makes a small difference in the lives of those around you?  Or will you settle for nothing less than extraordinary.  But would you chose to be super good if it meant you would unleash something super bad upon the world?

END OF PLAY



CAST OF CHARACTERS


SCENE 1: MONOLOGUE FROM ANOTHER WORLD

ALIEN - Narrator throughout the play


SCENE 2: TOUCHED BY AN ALIEN

CAPTAIN and COMMANDER - space explorers who set out to conquer to universe while enjoying a good cup of tea

CADET - young space explorer who has something to prove

GRUNT - old space explorer who prefers a good fight

ALIEN - native of the planet they visit who is captured


SCENE 3: PROTECTO

PROTECTO - Kid who wants to be a hero


SCENE 4: STUNG

JUNE - woman who wants to enjoy nature but nature doesn't like her

PROTECTO - a kid who wants to help

MOLLY - a woman who has no clue how to help

DON - a cranky old man


SCENE 5: BLINDED BY THE KNIGHT

JOE - comic book store owner

ASHLEY - teen beauty queen

HOWARD - a nerdy guy who likes comics and Ashley

NINJA - a teen girl who doesn't like Ashley

DOC - a doctor (can be played by Alien)


SCENE 6: MAN OF METROPOLIS

KENT - A local man from Metropolis

LO - A woman in search of true love

SIMON - a nice guy who befriends Lo


SCENE 7: PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER PLANET

GENERAL - a battle hungry general who would rather shoot first and ask questions later

PRINCESS - a princess from another planet who seeks help from Earth

SOLDIER - a guy who is just following orders

SCIENTIST - a man with the key to helping the princess's planet

LILA - the girlfriend of the scientist who doesn't want the princess to take him away


SCENE 8: A WEREWOLF IN MY BED

THAD - a teen who has turned to a wolf

VIV - the girlfriend of Thad who wants to protect him


SCENE 9: CHOCOLATE AND KISSES

DOUGIE - a dim-witted evil henchman

RESCUE - a local superhero

SHEILA - an evil villain who wants to stop Rescue woman


SCENE 10: SUPERHERO SUPPORT GROUP

SPEEDO - a super fast superhero with problems

DOCTOR - a doctor with the ability to take away super powers

DOGBOY - a dog-like superhero

CATCHICK - a cat-like superhero

SMACK - a super strong superhero

SHADE - a superhero who can hide in the shadows

CAPER - a flying superhero


SCENE 11: SUPER DEAD MAN (7 of any gender)

GEM - ordinary citizen

HANK - ordinary citizen

WINNY - old person who has her prize dog crushed by super dead man

SIDEKICK - stressed out sidekick of super dead man

OFFICER - police officer who finds supers annoying

MEZMERO - cool looking bad guy in a helmet

DAVID - smart kid who defeats Mezmero



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