free solo stage play script monologue


by D. M. Larson
(a play for TWO MALE ACTORS)


by D. M. Larson (a play for TWO MALE ACTORS)

Gus is a service station worker who is sitting with a clipboard waiting for customers.  Karl rushes in.


I'm so sorry I'm late.


What time was your appointment?

Karl hands over his keys to Gus.  During the following, Gus tags the keys and then can hand off the keys to another worker or he can rush the keys off stage or put it on a line and push the keys on the line off stage.


It was 30 minutes ago.  I'm never late.  I'm so sorry about this.  I'd understand if you can fit me in now.


No worries we got you covered.


Now I'm late for work. I hate being late for work. It's not that I will get fired; it's more that they look at you a different way.  They give you this look... you're not as good as us, or we have one up on you, or we have something we can use against you.  I always try to play it straight.  Always on time.  Never late.  I'm so late today. 

Gus is sitting relaxed listening eating a doughnut.

Karl (CONT.)

I sometimes wish I could be a slacker. What's that like?


Hard to say. Need a ride to work?


Will it be awhile? Something wrong with my car?  Figures.  Everything is going wrong.  Everything's so right then it goes so wrong.  Well, that's not true.  I hate to sound that way.  Is it really that bad?


You bring in your car pretty regular.  I don't see a need to worry.


That's me. Mr. Do-right.
Most my life it was Mr. Do-right
But it was getting to me.  Really getting to me.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  How could following the rules so perfectly make me so perfectly stressed? Shouldn't right be... right?  But it didn't feel right.  I was so unhappy. I just wanted to be happy for once. Just have one little bit of happiness for the first time in my life.

Karl pauses and looks at Gus.  Gus is listening, quite curious about what Karl is talking about.


You want to know why I'm late?


Of course.


I am late because my girlfriend is late.


Late?  Ohhhh... late.  I see.


Yeah, that kind of late.  The kind of late that changes your life and you can't go back.


Well... you can but...


No.  No way.  I'm not doing that.  Never. 


So what are you going to do?


She really wants the baby.  She actually thought she couldn't have one and she's so happy she can.  Well, she's freaking out, but happy.


Makes sense.


I want to be happy to, but all these worries keep making it so hard.  That's not fair to her...


Or yourself.


I tend to forget about me.


Not a good idea.  If we don't take care of ourselves then we can't help anyone else.


Especially not a baby.  Am I ready to be a father?


It changes your life.


I've never changed anything.  I always do the same thing.  I get up at 5am.  Eat the same breakfast.  Get to work the same time... usually.  Get my car serviced once a month.


I'm thankful for that one.


But this... this changes everything.


Get ready for an adventure.


Adventure... That's a scary word.


Really?  I love that word.  I want every day to be an adventure.


Every day!  I'd go crazy.  Every day I want the same thing.  I want to know what's coming.


Do you want it?  Need it?  Or just do it because seems right?  Before today, what was the last thing you did that wasn't planned or scheduled?


Kissed a beautiful woman that I wasn't sure liked me back.


How did it feel?


Scary... crazy... But it was memorable... the best kiss ever.  I'll never forget it.  And I never stopped kissing her.  I guess that's why she's late.


Do that think it changed you?




For the better.


Yes.  Things have never been the same.  And they've gotten better.  I actually feel happy sometimes.  I never really felt happy before.  But now I do.  I didn't know I was missing some happy until I got some.

Gus laughs at Karl's strange way of putting it.


Kids do that too.  They make every day a new experience.  And it's amazing to see the world through their eyes.  I think we learn more from them than they do for us.  You're in for an adventure my friend.

Gus gets the keys returned the same way he sent them.


There's that word again.  Adventure.  Maybe it's time I had some in my life.  Playing it safe got me nothing but a job I hate and an ulcer.  Thanks for listening.  I kind of unloaded on you.


No problemo.  Happy to help.  Here's the bill.  Therapy would have been cheaper I think.

Gus hands over the bill.




I thought so.  Hopefully you're not too late for work.


I'm calling in sick.


You're kidding?


I have a beautiful woman to kiss and a baby to celebrate.

Karl exits.


Don't forget to bring us all some cigars!   I wonder if anyone actually does that anymore?  My cousin handed out lollipops when his kid was born. I wanted to punch him.


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Flowers in the Desert stage play script with monologues for teen actors ISBN-13: 978-1530169085



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Featured Monologue from the Play “Death of an Insurance Salesman”



An ambulance is coming for you now.  And the policy will cover that ride so you're in luck.

(Ralph waves good-bye and watches person go)

He's lucky.  Most people wait until it's too late. Last minute is always better than never. Sometimes I think I should set up my office in the lobby of the hospital emergency room. I could probably sign up half the room as they are waiting... what else are they going to do while they wait for help?  Come on.  What's the number one thing on their minds?  They worry about how they'll pay for the hospital.  That's where I come in.  I kind of see myself as a hero... swooping in to save the day... can't pay your medical bill?  Let me do it for you.  I know no one sees an insurance salesman as a hero but we really are.  You know how much that heart attack would have cost him without me?  You know how much a car accident would cost without insurance?  We're not the bad guys... we're your knight in shining armor, protecting you from going bankrupt.  We are the guardians of the wallet.  Don't let them suck you dry.  Insurance will protect you... save you... rescue you... and that's what I wanted to always do with my life.  Be a hero.


**** “The Cynical Professor” a monologue by D. M. Larson

Okay class. I know you hate classes that are required for your degree so I am going to try and make this as painless as possible.

Because you're taking a lot of loans, using a lot of credit and building up some serious debt to be here, I don't want this class to be any more difficult than it needs to be. I mean you are going to be paying off these loans for the next 20 or 30 years. It's like you're taking out a mortgage and buying a house. And who can afford a house mortgage anymore when you have all these loans, credit and debts piling up just so you can get a degree in Egyptology or Greek mythology?

That brings me to lesson number one in your Freshman Orientation class. You want to make all your loans worthwhile? You want to be able to pay off your credit card debt when you graduate? Then become a lawyer.

Come on... What's with the moans and growns? Being an attorney can be great. Are you a tree hugger and love the Earth? Be an environmental lawyer. Are you into women's rights? There's a attorney for that. Want to help people who are defaulting on their mortgage and losing their homes or being crushed by credit card debt? There are lawyers for that too. Lawyers make a difference. Lawyers change things. Call an attorney if you want to get things done.

Law not for you? You could play the stock market and do some day trading. Or you could be a software designer.  Maybe be an engineer and figure out new ways to get us the limitless electricity that we demand or come up with alternate fuels so we no longer need gas in our cars. You can still help the world without picking a degree that will drown you in debt that you can never pay back.

If you want to study a dead language or some mythological beast, go hang out in the library or watch the History Channel, but don't run up thousands of dollars in loans to study something that won't pay the bills. A Egyptologist is not going to change the world, but an attorney just might have the power to right some wrong.

Gandhi was a lawyer. So was Abraham Lincoln.  And Nelson Mandela. These are great people that left their mark on history and transformed nations. I'm not telling you to transfer out of your history classes. History has wonderful lessons for us. I'm telling you not to major in it. Learn from history but then USE what you learned. Go out there and change things. And who better to change things than someone who understands how the system works than a lawyer.

Those of you that agree with me will go declare their majors - pre-law, engineering or economics. Those of you that don't, head on over to the library and write me a 10,000 word report on why your major is so awesome and a plan how you are going to pay off all that debt.

Class dismissed.

End of Monologue ****


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