MIDNIGHT OF THE SOUL MONOLOGUE 1
Time and Place
Late Spring, 1991. Eastern Washington town. The living
quarters of a church in a poorer neighborhood.
(The scene takes place in the living quarters of a
church. There is a small kitchen area with a stove, cupboards, counter, and
refrigerator UL. All of these things can be implied. The door to outside is L.
DL is a small living room with a sofa. Time: Midnight. It's raining outside. Blue lights come up depicting
woman comes in wearing a rain coat and is carrying a suitcase)
It's pouring out there.
(She takes coat hood off)
My name's Gabi. Are you the pastor of this church? Oh, good. Cause I need a place to stay.
(She takes off coat and lays it on the sofa)
I tried just about every motel in town, but they're all full tonight. I think it's cause of some state fair or somethin'. But it doesn't matter much though. It's not like I had enough money for one anyway. I woulda had to stay in one of them roach motels, ya' know where they have hourly rates and vibratin' beds. I once had to stay in one of them motels where the vibratin' thing was broken. I couldn't sleep. The darn thing kept me up all night. By morning I was so numb...never again. They should outlaw those places. You know what I mean? Well, anyway. I drove around awhile, not sure what to do. My gas was low and I had to stop, but I knew I should keep going cause somethin' would always turn up. My mama always said that. And so, not knowing what else I could do, I said a little prayer. Nothing fancy ya' understand cause I was desperate. So I closed my eyes and prayed hard. And you know what? When I opened my eyes I was here. Right here on your front steps. God had delivered me. And since mama always said that the church is the haven from all the world's troubles I thought I'd come right on in and see what you could do for me. Besides, who could think of a safer place to be in than a church, and it's a whole lot cheaper than a motel. (Stops. Looks at THOMAS) Ya' know. I never did catch your name.
My name's Gabi Roberts. Did I tell you that already? Oh, well, better twice than never. It's nice to meet you, pastor. I hope your helping me out like this won't be too much trouble.
I don't take up much room, really. You won't ever know I'm here. In fact, point me to the chapel and I'll sleep on one of the pews. I don't mind. God can be my pillow and Jesus will be my blanket. It'll be like a church retreat.
Please, pastor, I won't be no trouble. In fact, I could be a great help to you. As long as you let me stay, I can cook and clean and do whatever else you need.
What about that sofa? That looks comfy enough. I used to sleep on a sofa all the time when I was little. I won't mind one single bit.
I've slept on worse even. One time, when I went out to my aunt's, we had to sleep in the barn. I had no idea what kind of things lived in barns. It was a regular wild kingdom.
Boy, I bet you must be one good pastor.
You're so young and you already have your own church. Most pastors are so old and moldy. And they're always talking about death and dying and eternal damnation. But your sermons must be so full of life. Stand still a moment and let me look at you.
Yeah, I can see ya' now standin' up there teaching to a willin' congregation about God and love. It must be quite a thing to see.
God must have known what he was doing when he brought me here. Sometimes I wonder what God is trying to pull on me, but this time I think he did pretty good.
End of Scene
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"GUARDIANS OF THE WALLET" by D. M. Larson
An ambulance is coming for you now. And the policy will cover that ride so you're in luck.
(Ralph waves good-bye and watches person go)
He's lucky. Most people wait until it's too late. Last minute is always better than never. Sometimes I think I should set up my office in the lobby of the hospital emergency room. I could probably sign up half the room as they are waiting... what else are they going to do while they wait for help? Come on. What's the number one thing on their minds? They worry about how they'll pay for the hospital. That's where I come in. I kind of see myself as a hero... swooping in to save the day... can't pay your medical bill? Let me do it for you. I know no one sees an insurance salesman as a hero but we really are. You know how much that heart attack would have cost him without me? You know how much a car accident would cost without insurance? We're not the bad guys... we're your knight in shining armor, protecting you from going bankrupt. We are the guardians of the wallet. Don't let them suck you dry. Insurance will protect you... save you... rescue you... and that's what I wanted to always do with my life. Be a hero.
END OF MONOLOGUE
**** “The Cynical Professor” a monologue by D. M. Larson
Okay class. I know you hate classes that are required for your degree so I am going to try and make this as painless as possible.
Because you're taking a lot of loans, using a lot of credit and building up some serious debt to be here, I don't want this class to be any more difficult than it needs to be. I mean you are going to be paying off these loans for the next 20 or 30 years. It's like you're taking out a mortgage and buying a house. And who can afford a house mortgage anymore when you have all these loans, credit and debts piling up just so you can get a degree in Egyptology or Greek mythology?
That brings me to lesson number one in your Freshman Orientation class. You want to make all your loans worthwhile? You want to be able to pay off your credit card debt when you graduate? Then become a lawyer.
Come on... What's with the moans and growns? Being an attorney can be great. Are you a tree hugger and love the Earth? Be an environmental lawyer. Are you into women's rights? There's a attorney for that. Want to help people who are defaulting on their mortgage and losing their homes or being crushed by credit card debt? There are lawyers for that too. Lawyers make a difference. Lawyers change things. Call an attorney if you want to get things done.
Law not for you? You could play the stock market and do some day trading. Or you could be a software designer. Maybe be an engineer and figure out new ways to get us the limitless electricity that we demand or come up with alternate fuels so we no longer need gas in our cars. You can still help the world without picking a degree that will drown you in debt that you can never pay back.
If you want to study a dead language or some mythological beast, go hang out in the library or watch the History Channel, but don't run up thousands of dollars in loans to study something that won't pay the bills. A Egyptologist is not going to change the world, but an attorney just might have the power to right some wrong.
Gandhi was a lawyer. So was Abraham Lincoln. And Nelson Mandela. These are great people that left their mark on history and transformed nations. I'm not telling you to transfer out of your history classes. History has wonderful lessons for us. I'm telling you not to major in it. Learn from history but then USE what you learned. Go out there and change things. And who better to change things than someone who understands how the system works than a lawyer.
Those of you that agree with me will go declare their majors - pre-law, engineering or economics. Those of you that don't, head on over to the library and write me a 10,000 word report on why your major is so awesome and a plan how you are going to pay off all that debt.
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