free solo stage play script monologue


MUMMY GIRL


by D. M. Larson

Please ask permission before using this script from doug@freedrama.net (include the title "Mummy Girl" in your request).

Copyright (c) 2015 - Please do not repost this play online or share without permission.




SCENE - THE MUMMY GIRL (JANEY) by D. M. Larson

JANEY

(Janey’s face and hands are wrapped up in bandages)

This is me, the mummy girl.  Mummy dearest. I want my mummy! I just had to get those jokes out of the way for you.

So… I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to me. I'm telling everyone I got plastic surgery - but not to make myself more beautiful - I'm removing my nose cause everyone here stinks! I hate it here.

I have a pretty good reason for my bad attitude too.  The kids here think they are so funny that they thought they'd push me face first through some glass.  They wanted me to get a good look at their trophies in the big trophy case outside the principal’s office. They think I'm jealous because I was staring at their trophies. They thought I was wishing I got a touchback or home down or whatever they call them. Or maybe they thought I wanted to be some bubble-headed cheer girl wanting to score with the guys. Oh, come on. Why else do they wear those short skirts?

Actually I was standing there and wondering why there can't be drama trophies - or charity trophies like best server in the soup kitchen. But no, the awards go to all the tight pants and short skirts. Bravo society! Bravo! Way to glorify the important things in life.

Beautiful people stink. That's why I want my nose removed. Their souls are rotten and I am tired of smelling their stench.

END OF MONOLOGUE

This monologue is from the published play "The Bullied, Bungled and Botched" ISBN-13: 978-1518661082








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Thank you for selecting our plays. Have fun and please let us know how it goes.

Sincerely,

D. M. and Shiela Larson



FEATURED PUBLISHED PLAY

Flowers in the Desert stage play script with monologues for teen actors ISBN-13: 978-1530169085



EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO AUTHOR D. M. LARSON AT doug@freedrama.net OR TALK ON TWITTER @freedrama!


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Featured Monologue from the Play “Death of an Insurance Salesman”

***

"GUARDIANS OF THE WALLET" by D. M. Larson

RALPH
An ambulance is coming for you now.  And the policy will cover that ride so you're in luck.

(Ralph waves good-bye and watches person go)

He's lucky.  Most people wait until it's too late. Last minute is always better than never. Sometimes I think I should set up my office in the lobby of the hospital emergency room. I could probably sign up half the room as they are waiting... what else are they going to do while they wait for help?  Come on.  What's the number one thing on their minds?  They worry about how they'll pay for the hospital.  That's where I come in.  I kind of see myself as a hero... swooping in to save the day... can't pay your medical bill?  Let me do it for you.  I know no one sees an insurance salesman as a hero but we really are.  You know how much that heart attack would have cost him without me?  You know how much a car accident would cost without insurance?  We're not the bad guys... we're your knight in shining armor, protecting you from going bankrupt.  We are the guardians of the wallet.  Don't let them suck you dry.  Insurance will protect you... save you... rescue you... and that's what I wanted to always do with my life.  Be a hero.

END OF MONOLOGUE



**** “The Cynical Professor” a monologue by D. M. Larson

Okay class. I know you hate classes that are required for your degree so I am going to try and make this as painless as possible.

Because you're taking a lot of loans, using a lot of credit and building up some serious debt to be here, I don't want this class to be any more difficult than it needs to be. I mean you are going to be paying off these loans for the next 20 or 30 years. It's like you're taking out a mortgage and buying a house. And who can afford a house mortgage anymore when you have all these loans, credit and debts piling up just so you can get a degree in Egyptology or Greek mythology?

That brings me to lesson number one in your Freshman Orientation class. You want to make all your loans worthwhile? You want to be able to pay off your credit card debt when you graduate? Then become a lawyer.

Come on... What's with the moans and growns? Being an attorney can be great. Are you a tree hugger and love the Earth? Be an environmental lawyer. Are you into women's rights? There's a attorney for that. Want to help people who are defaulting on their mortgage and losing their homes or being crushed by credit card debt? There are lawyers for that too. Lawyers make a difference. Lawyers change things. Call an attorney if you want to get things done.

Law not for you? You could play the stock market and do some day trading. Or you could be a software designer.  Maybe be an engineer and figure out new ways to get us the limitless electricity that we demand or come up with alternate fuels so we no longer need gas in our cars. You can still help the world without picking a degree that will drown you in debt that you can never pay back.

If you want to study a dead language or some mythological beast, go hang out in the library or watch the History Channel, but don't run up thousands of dollars in loans to study something that won't pay the bills. A Egyptologist is not going to change the world, but an attorney just might have the power to right some wrong.

Gandhi was a lawyer. So was Abraham Lincoln.  And Nelson Mandela. These are great people that left their mark on history and transformed nations. I'm not telling you to transfer out of your history classes. History has wonderful lessons for us. I'm telling you not to major in it. Learn from history but then USE what you learned. Go out there and change things. And who better to change things than someone who understands how the system works than a lawyer.

Those of you that agree with me will go declare their majors - pre-law, engineering or economics. Those of you that don't, head on over to the library and write me a 10,000 word report on why your major is so awesome and a plan how you are going to pay off all that debt.

Class dismissed.

End of Monologue ****


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