The Weird Wild and Wonderful
Days of School
by D. M. Larson
Copyright (c) 2012 by Freedrama.net
CLICK ON THE SCENE BELOW TO VIEW
This play has a flexible cast. Not all scenes need to
be performed. And actors can play multiple parts because no characters
repeat from scene to scene. The smallest cast you could have by doing all
the scripts would be three males and four females. But there are many as
49 speaking roles possible.
PRINCIPAL: A showy circus type announcer who introduces each
MASTER: Master of the game of Rock, Sword,
MEL and KELLY: Rock, Scissors, Paper Players.
OPTIONAL STUDENTS: If you have more actors, you can divide up Mel and Kelly's lines.
OPTIONAL ACTORS: Act out Rock, Sword, Firecracker scene
IRISH: a silly girl dressed up for St. Patrick's Day
SCOTTISH: a more serious girl who is grumpy
GUY: a flirtatious guy
ITALIAN: a hot headed girl who gets mad at guy
CAPTAIN: A bad actor who is a bully
SOLDIER: Another bad actor
CYRIL: A big nosed guy who uses words rather than fists to fight bullies
FRIEND: Cyril's friend in the audience
ROXY: A female actress who teases Cyril.
KELLY: The drama teacher who has no control.
ANIMAL: A girl in an animal costume who likes the bird
BIRD: A guy in a bird costume who likes the animal back
STEPH: Stressed out student (can be a man STEVE).
MASTER: Fart-Zen master who teaches relaxation techniques.
PUPIL: There can be one PUPIL or a dozen. Very flexible.
DIRK: A male computer lab worker
GENIE: A magical creature who grants bad wishes
GIRL: A young looking playful girl
ZOMBIE: An old woman who is undead
WOMAN: She is good looking but turns out to be a vampire
JESI: A female computer lab worker
JANE: A girl who used to date Ron
RON: A guy who wants to date Jane again.
JEORGE: The tricky artist with a secret plan.
SAGE: Cranky female friend of Mary
MARY: A girl who likes Jeorge's art
FRANK: A friend of Jeorge
DAISY: A "special" girl who wants to make friends.
CARL: A "special" guy who likes everything in order.
ELMER: A "special" guy who is an artist.
BULA: A student who thinks she is an ace reporter working at a major newspaper.
SKEETER: Assistant to Bula at the paper who forgets to do his job.
FANNY: a goofy female reporter who hangs out behind the
boys locker room
MONITOR: sells his hall monitor reports
KILABREW: student assistant in nurse's office who loves to share medical related gossip
SIDNEY: A woman who wants to find the perfect guy but wears a
mask to hide how she looks.
TONY: A guy is scared off by Sidney.
WAITER/WAITRESS: No lines. Serves the food.
PHIL: A guy is isn't bothered by Sidney's mask.
SCENE 12: MUCH MADNESS
JANEY: A troubled student
REID: The doctor who tries to help her
NURSE: Assists Dr. Reid
OPTIONAL SCENE 13: FLOWERS IN THE DESERT
JIMMY: A drunk kid in love with SHELLY
SHELLY: A troubled girl who isn't sure she likes JIMMY any more
JAMIE: Shelly's friend
SARGE: One of the caretakers of troubled kids at a group home in the desert. Former army sergeant.
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*Freedrama scripts by D. M. and Shiela Larson are FREE to use in a classroom, audition, competition, or workshop.
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D. M. and Shiela Larson
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"GUARDIANS OF THE WALLET" by D. M. Larson
An ambulance is coming for you now. And the policy will cover that ride so you're in luck.
(Ralph waves good-bye and watches person go)
He's lucky. Most people wait until it's too late. Last minute is always better than never. Sometimes I think I should set up my office in the lobby of the hospital emergency room. I could probably sign up half the room as they are waiting... what else are they going to do while they wait for help? Come on. What's the number one thing on their minds? They worry about how they'll pay for the hospital. That's where I come in. I kind of see myself as a hero... swooping in to save the day... can't pay your medical bill? Let me do it for you. I know no one sees an insurance salesman as a hero but we really are. You know how much that heart attack would have cost him without me? You know how much a car accident would cost without insurance? We're not the bad guys... we're your knight in shining armor, protecting you from going bankrupt. We are the guardians of the wallet. Don't let them suck you dry. Insurance will protect you... save you... rescue you... and that's what I wanted to always do with my life. Be a hero.
END OF MONOLOGUE
**** “The Cynical Professor” a monologue by D. M. Larson
Okay class. I know you hate classes that are required for your degree so I am going to try and make this as painless as possible.
Because you're taking a lot of loans, using a lot of credit and building up some serious debt to be here, I don't want this class to be any more difficult than it needs to be. I mean you are going to be paying off these loans for the next 20 or 30 years. It's like you're taking out a mortgage and buying a house. And who can afford a house mortgage anymore when you have all these loans, credit and debts piling up just so you can get a degree in Egyptology or Greek mythology?
That brings me to lesson number one in your Freshman Orientation class. You want to make all your loans worthwhile? You want to be able to pay off your credit card debt when you graduate? Then become a lawyer.
Come on... What's with the moans and growns? Being an attorney can be great. Are you a tree hugger and love the Earth? Be an environmental lawyer. Are you into women's rights? There's a attorney for that. Want to help people who are defaulting on their mortgage and losing their homes or being crushed by credit card debt? There are lawyers for that too. Lawyers make a difference. Lawyers change things. Call an attorney if you want to get things done.
Law not for you? You could play the stock market and do some day trading. Or you could be a software designer. Maybe be an engineer and figure out new ways to get us the limitless electricity that we demand or come up with alternate fuels so we no longer need gas in our cars. You can still help the world without picking a degree that will drown you in debt that you can never pay back.
If you want to study a dead language or some mythological beast, go hang out in the library or watch the History Channel, but don't run up thousands of dollars in loans to study something that won't pay the bills. A Egyptologist is not going to change the world, but an attorney just might have the power to right some wrong.
Gandhi was a lawyer. So was Abraham Lincoln. And Nelson Mandela. These are great people that left their mark on history and transformed nations. I'm not telling you to transfer out of your history classes. History has wonderful lessons for us. I'm telling you not to major in it. Learn from history but then USE what you learned. Go out there and change things. And who better to change things than someone who understands how the system works than a lawyer.
Those of you that agree with me will go declare their majors - pre-law, engineering or economics. Those of you that don't, head on over to the library and write me a 10,000 word report on why your major is so awesome and a plan how you are going to pay off all that debt.
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