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THE JITTERTALKY

By D. M. Larson

(short scene for 3 actors)

 

CAST OF CHARACTERS (3)

CARL: Grandfather of SARA and LOUIS who is going crazy over something on his computer.

SARA: Granddaughter of CARL and sister to LOUIS who is worried about her grandfather.

LOUIS:  Grandson of CARL and brother to SARA who tries to help his grandfather.

SCENE

(An old man, CARL, wanders around nervous and angry, shouting out nonsense. His granddaughter, SARA, watches worriedly)

CARL: Witterwocky! Wittedtalky! Jivverjaky! Tweekertalky! Qitterwacky! Jittertalky!

SARA: Louis. Come quickly.

(LOUIS rushes in the room)

LOUIS: What is it, Sara?

SARA: It’s Grandpa. Something frightened him.

LOUIS: Again?

SARA: He seems really scared.

LOUIS: He always gets scared.

SARA: This is different.

LOUIS: It’s always different.

SARA: Please, help me. Get him to calm down. He’s frightening me.

LOUIS: Fine, I’ll talk to him, but you owe me one.

SARA: Thank you, Louis.

(CARL enters looking crazed. He has a pile of papers and a laptop computer. LOUIS goes to him)

LOUIS: Hey, Grandpa… What's going on?

(CARL drops his stuff and grabs LOUIS)

CARL: It’s the Jittertalky again.

LOUIS: We talked about this. There’s no such thing.

CARL: The Jittertalky. It’s real. It’s out there. Drifting upon the interwebs. Sailing on words and frights. Beware the Jittertalkly, my boy.

(CARL goes to LOUIS’s ear with a loud whisper)

CARL (CONT.): It whispers in the ear…

(LOUIS pulls away and sticks a finger in his ear. CARL goes behind LOUIS)

CARL (CONT.): …then stabs your back!

(CARL pokes LOUIS in the back)

LOUIS: Maybe we should take a little break from surfing the web.

(LOUIS grabs laptop but CARL rips it from his hand)

CARL: I took my tablet in hand and pulled up a map. I walked aimlessly awhile lost in thought. I waited, pondering what to post, a dumb look in me eye. When the Jittertalky, eyes of flame

came, waffling through the Jitterverse, screaming some unheavenly curse. I returned some scathing sentiments. Witty and wild and mean. And the Jittertalky screamed in horror

at the thing he had now seen. I beat the Jittertalky and made it eat its words

but then I realized, I had suddenly turned Jittertalky too.

(CARL finds a hand mirror and holds it up to his face distressed)

CARL: Facing myself. I’ve become the creature. I became the thing I feared. A mighty leader rises on inbred woven words. Twisted… vicious… undead. They rise and plot their conquest. They all wait for my next talky, following my wonky walky. They hear my scream. I’m gaining steam. They echo my words and all chant together. We are the Jittertalky. We are the Jittertalky. We are the Jittertalky.

(CARL rushes to his computer and rips the plug from the computer and wall)

CARL: Cut the cord! Pull the plug!

LOUIS: Yes! That’s right. No more computer. And no more social media.

CARL: I leave you dead. I’ve cut off your head. I’ve slain the Jittertalky. Jallooh! Jallay! What a joyous day!

(LOUIS pulls out an nicely made big aluminum hat and takes it to CARL)

LOUIS: Well done, Grandpa. You’ve saved the day. Here’s your crown.

CARL: I shall wear it proudly.

(CARL bows and LOUIS places it on his head)

LOUIS: All hail, King Carl!

CARL: Victory!

(CARL marches off proudly. LOUIS waves good-bye and when CARL is gone he quickly grabs the laptop and give it to SARA)

LOUIS: Hide this somewhere he’ll never find it again.

SARA: I’ll try. He always seems to find it though.

LOUIS: Bury it in a hole if you have to. Just don’t let him online again.

SARA: And don’t let him go outside in that aluminum hat. There’s a thunderstorm. He might get struck by lightning.

LOUIS: Got it.

(SARA and LOUIS scramble, run into each other and then run off stage in opposite directions. CARL appears from behind something, looks around and makes sure they are not around. He sneaks over to the sofa and pulls out another laptop. He looks and doesn’t see anyone, then opens it up. A computer start sound is heard and he laughs evilly).

CARL: I’m baaack!

END OF SCENE

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