CAST OF CHARACTERS:
(6 actors: 4 female, 2 male)
GENIE
BARISTA
ROB
SAM
SALLY
MOM
(GENIE, a woman in a genie outfit, is sitting in a coffee shop. ROB gets his cup of coffee from the BARISTA and nudges his friend SAM, pointing to GENIE)
ROB: Check her out. She could make my wishes come true.
(GENIE nods her head and ROB’s cup of coffee spills on him)
ROB: Hey!
SAM: Burn.
ROB: That’s not funny.
(BARISTA goes to GENIE)
BARISTA: How did you do that?
GENIE: Do what?
BARISTA: Make him spill his coffee.
GENIE: You think I did that.
BARISTA: I saw you nod at that jerk and his coffee spilled. I’ve seen you doing all kinds of things since you’ve been sitting there. Did you save that kid that was running across the street earlier? I thought for sure she was going to get hit by that truck, but you nodded your head and the girl was safely on the sidewalk.
GENIE: I hope that was okay. I know I’m kind of breaking the rules, but it didn’t seem right for that girl to get hurt.
BARISTA: So you did?! Really? You have magic?
GENIE: I am a genie.
BARISTA: A genie?!
GENIE: Shhh…. It’s a secret.
(ROB and SAM approach)
ROB: A genie huh?
BARISTA: Back off guys?
SAM: Or what?
BARISTA: Or I’ll ask you to leave.
GENIE: I can make them leave.
(GENIE nods and SAM grabs ROB and pulls him off stage)
BARISTA: That was awesome.
GENIE: Could you do me a favor? Could you rub this lamp for me?
(GENIE gives BARISTA a lamp)
BARISTA: Um… I guess… you want me to clean your lamp.
GENIE: Yes, please.
(BARISTA sigh)
BARISTA: Okay.
(BARISTA cleans it with a towel she has in her apron. GENIE suddenly gets a weird look on her face, nods and throws glitter in the air. She bows to the BARISTA)
GENIE: You summoned me, master?
BARISTA: Master? What are you talking about?
GENIE: Whomever rubs the magic lamp become my master.
BARISTA: But you told me to rub it.
GENIE: It still counts.
BARISTA: Why me?
GENIE: I’ve been watching people today and of all the people here, you have been the kindest.
BARISTA: That’s my job.
GENIE: But you go above and beyond. You hold open doors. You clean tables… some places never clean the tables… you give that homeless person coffee out back…
BARISTA: You saw that?
GENIE: You’re the kindest person I’ve seen. And there were some terrible ones… I would be so sad if someone with a dark heart found my lamp.
BARISTA: So what does it mean… to be your master?
GENIE: I must grant you three wishes.
BARISTA: I should have known… any three wishes?
GENIE: Um… I recommend you be really careful with the wishes…
BARISTA: Of course.
GENIE: Big wishes sometimes come with big consequences. I don’t know why it happens, but when I do something big, it makes reality shift somehow… it’s a yin and yang thing really… the more good you do, the more bad that happens. You’re a good person… and I kind of tricked you into this… so I think it’s good to warn you.
BARISTA: I’m not sure I want any wishes now.
GENIE: But I can do some really cool ones. There are little things you can do that can be amazing and do so little to upset the balance of the universe. Those are the best. The little random wishes.
BARISTA: Like random acts of kindness.
GENIE: Exactly.
BARISTA: I’ll have to think about this then.
GENIE: Take all the time you need. I’m not in any hurry. I like your coffee here.
BARISTA: So where did you come from?
GENIE: The lamp.
BARISTA: No, I mean… before that.
GENIE: I think I was born in the lamp. I’ve always lived there. I never remember life without it.
BARISTA: Who was your first master?
GENIE: Bill Gates
BARISTA: No, seriously.
GENIE: I am. Bill Gates. He wished wisely. He found me in the desert in Albuquerque and I helped him come up with Microsoft.
BARISTA: And after that?
GENIE: I’ve been kicking around Seattle for a while since then, granting wishes here and there. I help start a few grunge bands. There was that online store…
BARISTA: Amazon?
GENIE: Yeah. That actually resulted from a wish by an old lady who was tired of going shopping. She wished for a way to get anything she needed delivered to her home. The rest is history.
BARISTA: Okay, you’ve got my attention.
GENIE: So what will you wish for, master?
BARISTA: How about you? What would you wish for if you could wish for something? Would you wish for your freedom?
GENIE: No, I’m totally free. This ain’t like that movie. I’m free the minute you make your last wish. I just go in search of a new master. It’s my way of doing good, as long as it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.
BARISTA: Did that ever happen to you?
GENIE: You know the whole “I Can Has Cheezburger?” meme thing… I helped start that… I’m kind of ashamed of that one.
BARISTA: I thought it was kind of cute.
GENIE: Yeah, but my family always took pride in advancing the human race. That felt like a step back language wise.
BARISTA: The whole internet seems to be doing that.
GENIE: And my grandma was the one granted the wish that made the first donut making machine and now donuts are everywhere making people unhealthy.
BARISTA: Donuts are yummy.
GENIE: See! Double edged sword.
BARISTA: Has anyone ever asked for world peace?
GENIE: Yeah, that never works out though. It lasts for like a minute, then something even worse happens. I don’t recommend it.
BARISTA: What about money? What happens when people wish for millions? Or billions? Or to win the lottery?
GENIE: People always end up crashing and burning bad. Sure, they have fun for a few years, but it’s amazing how many times they get murdered by a relative for their money.
BARISTA: Yikes.
GENIE: That’s why little wishes always turn out best.
BARISTA: What if I wished to be a genie?
GENIE: Hmmm… That’s an interesting one.
BARISTA: Can you do that?
GENIE: Can I do that? I’m not sure. I think so. It might be risky, but it could be a pretty good one too. It is awesome being a genie.
BARISTA: Or what if I have you do something really horrible to me? Then something great will happen for someone else, right?
GENIE: Well, this isn’t an exact science… and I really don’t want to do something bad to you. That’s not a sure thing. That’s pretty amazing of you to offer. A selfless gesture indeed. But it could still backfire… that good thing might happen to those jerky guys out there. I don’t really want to do that. But hey, it’s your wish.
BARISTA: Why are those guys still hanging out there? That’s making me nervous. Oh, no. I shouldn’t have looked at them. Now they’re coming in.
ROB: Hey, ladies. We saw you checking us out.
SAM: How would two fine ladies like you want to go get a cup of coffee or something?
ROB: Not coffee, you idiot. This is a coffee shop.
SAM: Maybe we should take her to a costume party. I dig your costume, hot mama.
GENIE: I’m not a mama. I’m a genie.
ROB: A genie. Hey, baby. Can I rub your lamp?
GENIE: I’m not a baby and I certainly do not want you rubbing my lamp.
BARISTA: I wish you guys would leave us alone.
(GENIE suddenly stands up and nods. ROB and SAM look serious and turn)
ROB: Alright! Everyone out of here!
SAM: Let’s go! They want to be alone!
(ROB and SAM go and wave customers and workers out)
BARISTA: What’s going on? They’re kicking everyone out of the coffee shop!
GENIE: I’m afraid you made a wish. You wished the guys would leave us alone.
BARISTA: And now we’re alone. Are they guarding the door?
GENIE: Yes, it looks that way.
BARISTA: Now they’re not letting anyone in.
GENIE: They’ll make sure you stay alone now.
BARISTA: These wishes are tricky.
GENIE: Sorry about that.
(SALLY, a young girl appears, crying. She is very upset. She wants to go in the coffee shop)
SALLY: Please. I need help.
(ROB and SAM stop her)
ROB: No way. Beat it.
SAM: They want to be alone.
SALLY: Please. I can’t find my mommy.
(BARISTA jumps up angrily)
BARISTA: I wish you two guys would go away.
(GENIE jumps up and nods. ROB and SAM run away)
SALLY: Can you help me?
BARISTA: What’s wrong?
SALLY: I can’t find my mommy. I lost her. I’m looking everywhere but I’m scared. We were here and then we tried crossing the street. And there was this truck. Mommy let go of my hand and I fell. But then I was on the sidewalk. I don’t know how. But then Mommy was gone.
(GENIE looks upset and goes to SALLY)
GENIE: I’m so sorry. We’ll do everything we can to help.
SALLY: Can you use your magic to find her mom?
GENIE: I can’t use any of my powers on my own while I have a master.
SALLY: Magic? You can do magic? Like a fairy?
GENIE: Well, kind of… fairy magic is a bit different.
SALLY: You’ve seen a fairy?
GENIE: I’ve seen loads of them. I bet you have too and didn’t know it. You know when you see butterflies? Well, sometimes those are fairies in disguise.
SALLY: Really?
BARISTA: Let me get you something to drink. Something with lots of whipped cream.
SALLY: Okay! Can I make it myself?
BARISTA: Sure, why not?
(SALLY goes)
GENIE: Magic is always risky to use, but I couldn’t see that little girl get hurt.
BARISTA: What do you think happened to the mom?
GENIE: I’m not sure. Hopefully she is just lost too. But only a little lost.
BARISTA: You mean she could be a lot lost?
GENIE: Genie magic is weird.
BARISTA: And you can’t use it without my help?
GENIE: I’m afraid not.
BARISTA: Then I’ll make my final wish.
GENIE: You’re going to help her?
BARISTA: Yes.
GENIE: That’s so kind of you.
BARISTA: Little wishes, right? Those are the best kind?
GENIE: Usually. Sometimes amazing things happen with those. Little wishes are the best.
BARISTA: I wish that Sally’s mom finds her.
(GENIE jumps up and nods. MOM enters)
MOM: Hi, I’m really sorry to bother you. It looks like you’re closed now or something, but have you seen a little girl named Sally, about this tall.
(SALLY runs out and stands under her MOM’s hand showing the height. SALLY has a big cup of whipped cream)
MOM: Sally!
SALLY: Mommy! I found you!
MOM: You did.
SALLY: Were you lost?
MOM: I was. I’m so glad you found me.
SALLY: Me too.
MOM: That’s an interesting drink you have there? Did you put enough whipped cream in it?
SALLY: I’m not sure. Maybe I need some more.
BARISTA: Help yourself.
GENIE: You chose… wisely.
BARISTA: I think so too.
GENIE: No regrets?
BARISTA: I did like the idea of being a genie. I would have fun doing nice things for people.
GENIE: You don’t have to be a genie to do good deeds. Remember, the little wishes are the best. I think anyone can grant little wishes if they try.
BARISTA: Maybe you’re right.
GENIE: I know I’m right. I guess it’s time for me to hit the road and find another master.
BARISTA: How about a cup of coffee first?
GENIE: With extra whipped cream?
BARISTA: Sure… if there’s any left.
(MOM and SALLY come out with whipped cream filled cups. They all laugh)
END OF SCENE
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