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by D. M. Larson

"Cowboy Salvation" longer monologue for male by D. M. Larson


I always hated horses.

Got kicked by one in face as a child and I never forgave their species for it. Give me a mustang by Ford any day.

I always hates horses ... They make me itch places I don't want to scratch. But now that it's gone.. I miss it... even the stink... Dated a cowgirl once that smelled that way... She was pretty but she stank like horses... She couldn't keep off of them I guess. There's a lot of things I miss out here right now.

Been out here so long I am not even sure what I am doing anymore... What was this for? It's slipping away... Like a memory I want to forget.

....just a nightmare.

I was looking for someone. Or was he looking for me?

The sun is frying my brain, this rotten egg of mine. Scrabbled by the heat.

Why is it so hot here? And where is here. I don't remember that either. Been riding so long I forgot.

Kind of like this place. Forgotten. Some forgotten corner of the world.

God forgot this place and gave it to Satan. A hiding place. A place to hide from everyone he's harmed... Including me. Now I am here to end it. Stop the devil in his tracks and hurt him like he hurt me.

Hunting Satan... That's what it feels like. Hunting the devil himself. Payback for everything he's done to me.

Probably hiding in some nice cool cave, with fresh little spring of water. Getting drunk on it. Didn't Jesus turn water in to wine?

Could he turn dirt in to water for me? Please... I'm begging you. A drop. Anything.

But the devil won't allow that here. The devil who hides...

Where are you Satan?!

I don't even remember his real name anymore. The man I'm looking for... Or was he looking for me. Doesn't matter any more. We're both lost...

There... I see him... In the distance... He's watching me.

(A shadow appears across the stage)

What's he doing? Why is he just standing there?

He's got something in his hand... A gun? No... It's water. The devil's tempting me... Water for life.

Normally I hate water. Hate drinkin the stuff. It takes like nothing.

Give me something in a can... A nice cool can... Nothing sweeter than cool liquid from a can... Pop that top And let it slip down your throat.

I'd kill for that water. Kill the devil with my own two hands... Drink it down, lick his sweat then drink his blood.

(He gets up and yells)

What do you want from me?!

(He runs and attacks)

I will drag you down to hell with me. Death ain't so bad when you bring a friend. Die with me. Join me in the fire.

(but the shadowy figure is gone... It was a cactus. The shadow of the cactus is now clear. It almost looks more like cross than a cactus)

He wants my soul. Water for my soul. I thought he already had it. I thought I'd turned down that road a long time ago.

Does this mean I can still be saved?

Is there a way out?

Have I been forgiven?

God sent me an angel... My own beautiful angel... Who smiles upon me an bring me light. Does she bring salvation?

This is the last one... I promise... No more hunting... No more of these journeys through hell... Just you... Only you.

Please... Don't let me go. Tell me to stay. I want so badly to stay with you.

I need you my angel... Take me in your heavenly arms. Deliver me from this evil.

Forsaken... God forsaken... In hell itself... Burning... Burning forever in this valley of shadows...

(Finds of bit of shade by a cactus and struggles to get in it)

Hiding in the shadows...

(He is poked in the head by a cactus needle)

My crown of thorns... Satan mocks me. Then leaves me to die.

(Lies down in a cross like shadow cast by a cactus)

No... Dying is too easy... You wouldn't want that. I need to suffer for my sins.

So many sins.

Hurting an angel... Is there any worse evil? Luring her from heaven and then destroying her. Please mend her wings... Take her broken wings and let her fly again.

(Looks up and sees something - a vulture circling)

Fly away far from here... Never to return...


But she always returns, broken... Return to my side to comfort the one who tortures her... Torments her...

Could she find me now? Could she find me in hell? Her wings burning... Fighting demons to reach me. Does she hate herself enough to do that for me?

I always thought I was the hero... Helping those in need... But it was just a lie I told myself ... So many lies... You liked the lies sometimes... You wanted to believe I was good... Believe in me.

I want to believe.

Do you forgive me my angel? Please forgive me. Please smile at me again like you used to. Give me life again.

So little left inside... You've taken so much from me. I've lost so much.

Give it back to me!

Give me back my soul.

Give me the darkness of heaven... The cool relief of your starry night.

I fear evil. I fear the fire and the burning... But I fear losing you more. Losing my angel. Losing my heart...


(The lights become brighter and brighter behind him, upstage - he is between the light and the audience so he appears like a silhouette)

Is this that bright light they tell you about in the end?

(Staring in to the light - he kneels before the light and is a shadow)

Are you there my angel? Will you take me on arms? Send me your smile... That is my heaven.

Please... Take me to heaven....

(shadows - clouds move over the lights and the lights grow darker and darker)

Please don't go.

Please don't leave me. I need you.

(He cries and falls to the ground. Kneeling and reaching out)

I need you.

(The stage grows darker. He takes out him gun and shakily holds it to his head. He is about to pull the trigger - now darkness. Thunder, then raindrops are heard)

Salvation... She brings me salvation.



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