free solo stage play script monologue


HIPPIES, HOUSEWIVES, AND WATERING HOLES

 

By

 

D. M. Larson

 

Copyright (c) 2002

All Rights Reserved


You must ask for permission before using this script in a performance by contacting doug@freedrama.net (please include the title of this monologue in your request).

The play is free... if... and only if... your performance of the script is at no cost (i.e. classroom, workshop, audition or competition).

This script is copyrighted material. You are not allowed to repost the script online for any reason (even educational).

If you charge admission, there is a royalty fee. Please go to www.freedrama.net/royalty.html for more information.


 

CAST OF CHARACTERS

 

LEROY: Old Texas rancher who is protecting his watering hole

MOLLY: His quiet housewife

MOON: A hippy who comes along to give Leroy a hard time about his habit of shooting things he shouldn't

 

 

PLACE and TIME

 

A ranch in modern day Texas.

 


 


 

 

(Older Texas rancher makes angry entrance into the kitchen of his home. His wife MOLLY quietly does housework and hardly reacts to his anger)

 

LEROY

(Drops rifle onto table. Out of breath)

I had to kill another one of them! This one broke down my fence.

 

MOLLY

(She speaks in an unenthusiastic monotone)

You'll get fined again.

 

LEROY

I can't believe they fined me $4,000 for the last one. The judge told me it was just a gentle reminder. There was nothing gentle about it. I just can't sit there and let them take my water. This is the desert. My cattle needs it. I can't go sharing it with every thirsty critter that thinks it needs some. I'm one step ahead of 'em this time though. Buried it so nobody will know. No witnesses this time neither.

 

MOLLY

(Dogs barking. Sound of car driving up)

You sure? Who's that?

(Looking outside)

It's one of them Volkswagen vans. Got flowers and all kinds of stickers on it. Looks like a billboard.

 

LEROY

(Tries looking out)

I can't see nothing.

 

MOLLY

Get your glasses, dear.

 

LEROY

(Pats around on his shirt)

Where'd I put them?

 

MOLLY

There's someone getting out of the van. Got funny clothes on. Lots of colors.

 

LEROY

(Finds glasses then looks out)

Holy J Spirit! It's that hippy from town.

 

MOLLY

What hippy?

 

LEROY

She was protesting about something outside the courthouse. Probably not enough tofu in town or something. What's she want with me?

 

MOLLY

She's almost to the door.

 

LEROY

My gun ain't loaded! Where you keep the shells now?

 

MOLLY

In the cookie jar.

 

LEROY

(Rushes to cookie jar. Knocking at door)

Don't let her in.

 

MOLLY

Okay.

(More knocking)

You want me to tell her you're not home.

 

LEROY

I'll shoot first and talk later.

(Open cookie jar)

We're out of bullets?!

 

MOLLY

Maybe I moved 'em.

 

LEROY

(In a panic)

Where?

 

MOLLY

(Shrugs. Unconcerned)

I don't know.

 

MOON

(MOON enters and is on the porch. Knocks and calls out)

I know you�re in there. I want to talk to you.

 

LEROY

Get out of here! You're trespassing!

(To MOLLY)

Call the sheriff.

 

MOLLY

Okay.

(Exits kitchen)

 

MOON

My name's Moon Johnson. I represent the Legal Freedom League.

 

LEROY

Moon? What kind of name is that?

 

MOON

It's the name of a powerful woman who believes in herself to stand up against injustice.

 

LEROY

Do you mean the moon in the sky or the moon you get when you pull your pants down?

(Peaks out)

Judging by the look of you I'd pick the second.

 

MOON

That's it!

(She backs up and runs at door)

 

LEROY

(Pulls open door and MOON sails in and runs into table)

Don't bust my door!

(MOON heads for LEROY who backs away)

What do you want with me?

 

MOON

(Pulls out a chair)

Sit.

(MOON shoves him down onto chair)

 

LEROY

(Rises)

I don't take orders in my own house.

 

MOON

(Shoves him down even harder)

I said sit.

 

LEROY

(Rubs shoulder)

Okay. I'm sitting.

 

MOLLY

(Enters)

I can't find the number for the sheriff, dear.

 

LEROY

It's 911!

(Tries to get up and is shoved down)

Run, Molly. Get out of here!

(MOLLY casually heads toward them not at all upset)

 

MOLLY

I got your lunch in the microwave. It's getting hard sitting in there.

 

LEROY

I don't care about my lunch!

 

MOLLY

See, you get all fussy when you don't eat.

(Pulls container out)

 

MOON

(Sniffs)

What is that?

 

MOLLY

Tripe on toast.

 

MOON

Tripe?! Isn't that? Wait, I don't want to know.

 

LEROY

You let me go or my wife will feed it to you.

 

MOLLY

You hungry, Miss Moon? Got some lettuce and tomatoes. I could make a salad.

 

MOON

No, thank you. I just ate.

 

MOLLY

Tea maybe.

 

MOON

Tea would be nice.

(MOLLY gets iced tea)

 

LEROY

(Gets up)

Molly, what are you doing?

(Shoved down)

Don't offer her nothing. She's a criminal.

 

MOON

The only criminal in here is you, my friend.

 

LEROY

You break into my home and you call me a criminal.

 

MOON

You opened the door and let me in fair and square. No breaking in.

 

LEROY

You were going to break down my door.

 

MOON

I was only going to knock forcefully.

 

LEROY

(Rises)

Give me my gun and I'll show you forceful.

(Shoved down)

Stop doing that.

 

MOON

Then stop getting up.

 

MOLLY

(Hands MOON glass. Friendly and not so distant)

Here's your tea, Miss Moon. Care for a slice of lemon?

 

MOON

Sure, that would be lovely.

 

LEROY

Stop being nice to her.

 

MOON

Shut up, you or I'll shove you on the floor.

 

LEROY

See, Molly. She�s threatening me.

 

MOLLY

Yes, dear.

(Smiles as she gives her lemon)

There you go.

 

LEROY

So what do you want?

 

MOON

I can't believe it. He doesn't even know. What a waste of food...

(Takes a sip of tea)

 

LEROY

(MOLLY snickers then tries to hide it as a cough)

Molly! Did you just laugh?

 

MOLLY

No, dear. Just got a tickle in my throat.

 

LEROY

You better not laugh at me or I'll smack you so hard you'll have to take a bus back from Albuquerque.

 

MOON

I�ll be doing all the smacking around here.

 

LEROY

See, she just threatened me again.

 

MOLLY

More iced tea?

 

MOON

You can top off my glass. That's wonderful tea. How do you make it?

 

LEROY

I can't believe this. I'm getting tortured and you're discussing tea.

 

MOLLY

(Smiles a little)

It's moon tea.

 

MOON

(Laughs)

I heard of sun tea, but moon tea?

(LEROY crosses his arms and scowls)

 

MOLLY

Old family recipe. Learned it from my grandma.

 

LEROY

I can't believe you'd give this pinko skirt our moon tea.

 

MOON

Did you just call me a skirt? I think I just stepped back into the 1950's.

 

LEROY

Can we get this over with? I've got chores to do.

 

MOON

I'm not leaving until you see the error of your ways.

 

LEROY

What are you talking about?

 

MOLLY

I think this is about that newspaper, dear.

 

MOON

Give the lady a prize.

 

LEROY

Oh, that stupid article in the papers. I got my punishment. I don't know why everyone has to make big news out of it.

 

MOON

That was no punishment. That was only a little slap on the hand.

 

LEROY

It was four thousand dollars! You call that a slap on the hand?

 

MOON

How can you not see how horrible this is?

 

MOLLY

Can I say something?

 

MOON
Please do
.

 

MOLLY

(Reluctantly goes up to LEROY)

Now, Leroy. Can't you see why this lady is upset?

 

LEROY

Cause we don't have any cookies and ice cream?

 

MOLLY

Leroy. What you did was wrong.

 

LEROY

What did you say?

(He rises threateningly. MOON pushes him back down)

Ow!

 

MOON
She talks. You listen.

 

MOLLY

Leroy, killing ain't right.

 

LEROY

What are you saying, Molly? You think I'm wrong?

 

MOLLY

Maybe.

 

LEROY

Who are you and who took my wife? Who took my quiet little woman who cooks and cleans and gives me foot rubs?

 

MOON

(Disgusted)

Foot rubs?

 

MOLLY

How can you do something so horrible?

 

LEROY

What's so horrible about what I did? I was merely taking out the trash and cleaning up this sorry society of ours. I'm sick and tired of hearing about tolerance and equality. Where does that leave me? Where's the tolerance for me? Where's my equality?!

(Sighs and calms a bit)

Life used to be so much easier when I was a boy. We knew who to like and who to hate.

 

MOON

Things change.

 

LEROY

But I don't what them to change. Don't you get it? I like things the way they are.

 

MOLLY

But some of us don't, Leroy.

(MOLLY leaves crying)

 

LEROY

(Rises to go after her)

Molly, wait.

(MOON doesn�t stop him, but then he sits down upset)

Why do things have to change? Why can't they just leave me alone?

 

MOON

All they want is a little water. Not money, not a job... just water. And what do you do?

 

LEROY

(Quietly)

I kill them.

 

MOON

I believe the word is murder.

 

LEROY

Look. I've already been on trial. Why don't you take it up with the judge?

 

MOON

He's next on my list.

 

LEROY

So what are you going to do with me?

 

MOON

I'd leave you with your conscience to torture you, but since you don't seem to have one, I have this.

(Hands him a paper)

 

LEROY

(Squints)

What is it?

 

MOON

A boycott on your cattle.

 

LEROY

What?

 

MOON

We are calling for a nationwide boycott on your cattle. Any meat packing company that buys your beef will also be subject to a boycott.

 

LEROY

You and what army?

 

MOON

Us and Oprah, that's who.

 

LEROY

You wouldn't?

 

MOON

Farewell, Leroy. Nice talking to you. I'll say hi to the judge for you.

(MOON exits)

 

LEROY

Molly? Molly, come here. We got to call and warn the judge.

(Upset)

And we got to call Charlie. Got to make sure they didn't get to him. He's my biggest buyer. I'm sure he wouldn't stop buying my cattle cause of this little thing.

(MOLLY appears with her hat, coat and suitcase)

Molly? What are you doing?

 

MOLLY

I'm going to be on Oprah.

(MOLLY exits. LEROY stands there stunned)

 

LEROY

(Watches helplessly)

Don't get in that van with her! Molly! Nooo!

(Runs out after her and lights fade to black)

END OF PLAY





See below for links to more plays, recommended published plays, a trivia game and more!



Are you a fan of Freedrama? Win special Freedrama prizes by playing the trivia game below!

To win, find the answers to the following questions in the trivia game:

1. What is a kachu?

2. What does a kachu like to eat?

3. What does a kachu say?

Email your answers to doug@freedrama.net and win a prize!


Play this trivia game and get a prize!




Copyright (c) 2001-2016 All Rights Reserved

*Freedrama scripts by D. M. and Shiela Larson are FREE to use in a classroom, audition, competition, or workshop.

All mentions of the script should include the author (D. M. Larson) and the source (Freedrama.net).

In return for using the script royalty free, we would be most thankful if you completed 1 or more of the following: http://www.freedrama.net/nocost.html (subscribe and share freedrama.net on social media or share a printed poster).


IMPORTANT: The text of this script is copyright protected material. You are NOT allowed to repost the text of the script online for any reason (even educational). You may create a link to the script, but do not republish or redistribute the text of the script in any way online.


MAKING A VIDEO?
If the play is recorded as a video and posted on the internet in any way, please begin the online description of the video with "From a Freedrama.net free stage play script." Here are additional rules for using scripts for videos: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/07/would-you-like-to-use-free-script-for.html


CHARGING ADMISSION? ARE YOU PLACING ADS ON YOUR VIDEO?
OPTION 1: If you produce the script for profit, you can still use the play for free if you agree to add a link to freedrama.net on your website (please share the webpage where you added the link). OPTION 2: Or you can purchase copies of the play for each member of your cast at Amazon.com and use the play royalty free. OPTION 3: If you prefer to pay the royalty instead of completing one of the above requests then you can do so at http://www.freedrama.net/royalty.html

**Please email doug@freedrama.net and state that you agree to the above requirements and you will be given permission to use the script.**

Thank you for selecting our plays. Have fun and please let us know how it goes.

Sincerely,

D. M. and Shiela Larson



FEATURED PUBLISHED PLAY

Flowers in the Desert stage play script with monologues for teen actors ISBN-13: 978-1530169085



EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO AUTHOR D. M. LARSON AT doug@freedrama.net OR TALK ON TWITTER @freedrama!


MORE FREE PLAYS FROM FREEDRAMA.NET!

POPULAR Free Stage Play Scripts

Free MONOLOGUES for 1 Actor

Free Monologues for one TEEN Actor

Free One Act and Full Length Plays for TEEN Actors

Free SHORT Stage Play Scripts and SKITS

Short Monologues

Free FUNNY Short Stage Play Scripts and COMEDY Skits

Funny Comedy Monologues

Free DUOLOGUES for 2 Actors

Free ONE ACT Plays

Free One Act and Full Length Plays for CHILDREN

Free Monologues for KIDS

Short Plays for CHILDREN

Full Length Plays

SMALL Cast Plays for THREE Actors, FOUR Actors, FIVE Actors, SIX Actors

Small cast plays for CHILDREN

Short FILM scripts for video

Free Online ACTING School and Tips for New Actors

IMPROV Theatre Games

MadScripts Fill in the Blank Classroom GAMES

Classroom Ideas for TEACHERS



Featured Monologue from the Play Death of an Insurance Salesman

***

"GUARDIANS OF THE WALLET" by D. M. Larson

RALPH
An ambulance is coming for you now. And the policy will cover that ride so you're in luck.

(Ralph waves good-bye and watches person go)

He's lucky. Most people wait until it's too late. Last minute is always better than never. Sometimes I think I should set up my office in the lobby of the hospital emergency room. I could probably sign up half the room as they are waiting... what else are they going to do while they wait for help? Come on. What's the number one thing on their minds? They worry about how they'll pay for the hospital. That's where I come in. I kind of see myself as a hero... swooping in to save the day... can't pay your medical bill? Let me do it for you. I know no one sees an insurance salesman as a hero but we really are. You know how much that heart attack would have cost him without me? You know how much a car accident would cost without insurance? We're not the bad guys... we're your knight in shining armor, protecting you from going bankrupt. We are the guardians of the wallet. Don't let them suck you dry. Insurance will protect you... save you... rescue you... and that's what I wanted to always do with my life. Be a hero.

END OF MONOLOGUE



**** The Cynical Professor a monologue by D. M. Larson

Okay class. I know you hate classes that are required for your degree so I am going to try and make this as painless as possible.

Because you're taking a lot of loans, using a lot of credit and building up some serious debt to be here, I don't want this class to be any more difficult than it needs to be. I mean you are going to be paying off these loans for the next 20 or 30 years. It's like you're taking out a mortgage and buying a house. And who can afford a house mortgage anymore when you have all these loans, credit and debts piling up just so you can get a degree in Egyptology or Greek mythology?

That brings me to lesson number one in your Freshman Orientation class. You want to make all your loans worthwhile? You want to be able to pay off your credit card debt when you graduate? Then become a lawyer.

Come on... What's with the moans and growns? Being an attorney can be great. Are you a tree hugger and love the Earth? Be an environmental lawyer. Are you into women's rights? There's a attorney for that. Want to help people who are defaulting on their mortgage and losing their homes or being crushed by credit card debt? There are lawyers for that too. Lawyers make a difference. Lawyers change things. Call an attorney if you want to get things done.

Law not for you? You could play the stock market and do some day trading. Or you could be a software designer. Maybe be an engineer and figure out new ways to get us the limitless electricity that we demand or come up with alternate fuels so we no longer need gas in our cars. You can still help the world without picking a degree that will drown you in debt that you can never pay back.

If you want to study a dead language or some mythological beast, go hang out in the library or watch the History Channel, but don't run up thousands of dollars in loans to study something that won't pay the bills. A Egyptologist is not going to change the world, but an attorney just might have the power to right some wrong.

Gandhi was a lawyer. So was Abraham Lincoln. And Nelson Mandela. These are great people that left their mark on history and transformed nations. I'm not telling you to transfer out of your history classes. History has wonderful lessons for us. I'm telling you not to major in it. Learn from history but then USE what you learned. Go out there and change things. And who better to change things than someone who understands how the system works than a lawyer.

Those of you that agree with me will go declare their majors - pre-law, engineering or economics. Those of you that don't, head on over to the library and write me a 10,000 word report on why your major is so awesome and a plan how you are going to pay off all that debt.

Class dismissed.

End of Monologue ****


ABOUT FREEDRAMA.NET

Freedrama provides free stage play scripts for actors, directors, teachers and students. Our free theatre resources are for both schools and theatre groups. Freedrama also has free help for new actors including a no cost online acting school. Improve your acting and communication skills with our variety of educational materials including improv drama games and fun learning activities such as MadScripts.


Freedrama offers the following types of plays:

scripts for kids
play scripts for free
free scripts online
free theatre scripts
scripts for middle school
free readers theater scripts
for kids with scripts free
reader theater scripts free
5 minute play scripts free
scripts for kids free
scripts in English for free
play scripts for kids free
play script free
free funny play scripts
scripts for plays free online
free scripts for children
free scripts for teens
free script for kids
play scripts free
scripts for teenagers
acting scripts for kids free
comedy play scripts free
how to write a play script
acting scripts
children play scripts
readers theatre scripts
simple play scripts
play script writing
writing a play script
how to write a script for a play
christian drama scripts
comedy play script
free scripts for middle school
school play scripts free
free plays for kids
free scripts
free online play scripts
play scripts free
music play scripts free
play scripts for kids free
theatre play scripts free
free drama scripts
free script
free acting scripts
school plays scripts online
free short play scripts
drama scripts free
free play scripts
play scripts for kids