free solo stage play script monologue


MUSIC MAYBE (male version)

by D. M. Larson



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Published One Act Play
Available on Amazon.com

ISBN-13: 978-1519120106


CAST OF CHARACTERS (4 Males)

MEL - Owner of a music studio who wants to start an all drummer band

SLUG - Goth type who makes weird sounds and turns makeshift objects into instruments

JJ - Hick/country guy who loves to play the cowbell

BAY - Classically trained musician who dreams of being a rock star.


MUSIC MAYBE
by D. M. Larson - MALE VERSION


Scene 1

Mel is the owner of a small music studio and welcomes the audience.

Mel

Hi everyone... this is the studio... this is where the magic happens... or will happen. Nothing magical yet... except for the rat I found... over there.  I call him magical because he kind of talks to me.  Not with words but with his eyes.  We made a connection.  And I know he likes to rock so he's okay little dude.  Anyway... this is where the next big band is going to birth itself.  And you're a witness to the first moments of it's life... take it in... take a moment to let the aura ooze over you.  Yes... feel it... oh yeah.  So, I'm a drummer and believe it or not, drummers do start bands. Rush, the Eagles, Van Halen, Pink Floyd.  My idea is an all percussion rock band.  I'll gather all the best drummers in the area and we'll form a supergroup that will blow everyone away... literally.  I need a good band name... "Blow you away"?  "Loud Bangers"?  "Screaming Rats"? I'll figure something out.  Where is that rat anyway?  He usually comes out to say hi.  We've made friends.  Maybe he could be the band mascot or something.  I could get a clear bass drum and he could run around inside on a little wheel.  I think his hearing is damaged already from all my practicing so I don't think he'll care.  He likes the beat.  So you ready to rock?!

Mel goes to his drum set and plays wildly.

SCENE 2

Slug is a punk rocker who enters.  He sniffs around the studio and picks up random things, taps on them and makes weird sounds in reply.  Mel enters excited.

MEL

Hey, you here to audition?

Slug makes an odd sound and holds up the audition flyer.

SLUG

Name's Slug.

MEL

That... is... so... awesome!  I totally love that name... like Sting or the Edge.... Slug... love it!

SLUG

I hate it.  But I'm stuck with it.  No one calls me anything else.

MEL

What's your real name?

SLUG

I don't remember.

MEL

Okay... well... what do you play?

SLUG

Anything. Everything. I play the world around me.

MEL

Oh, cool!  You mean like Stomp?

SLUG

Yeah, I stomp on things.  A rat!  I'll stomp it!

Slug stomps and there is a squeak.  Slug makes a sound back.

MEL

No!  That's our mascot. 

SLUG

A rat?

MEL

We're the "Squeaky Sextet"... well that's if I can get that many band members.

SLUG

Hate the name... how about the Squeaky Slugs?

MEL

Named after you?

SLUG

When you see me play... you'll be like ready to slug something.  It works.

MEL

I'll keep working on a name.

SLUG

Whatever.  You got any food?

MEL

I think I gave the last of the pizza to Squeaky.

Slug finds the box of pizza on the floor and grabs it and plops down on a sofa.

SLUG

Squeaky left the crust... why does everyone leave the crust?  I love the crust.

Slug starts eating the crust.

END OF SCENE




SCENE 3

JJ is a redneck/hick looking man in overalls and is hitting a steady rhythm on a cowbell.  He stops and smiles a big grin.

JJ

You gotta love the cowbell.  The most underrated but most loved musical instrument of all time.  Sure, I've played more socially acceptable instruments... I've been one of the best church bell ringers around... no, not like Quasimodo.

He does a Hunchback ringing a bell imitation.

JJ (COnT.)

I'd play them pretty sounding bells in the church bell choir. 

He pretends to do pretty bells and makes the sound (or actually has a couple he plays).

JJ (CONT.)

They said I was one of the best. Made my momma proud... but quit the minute I was old enough to skedaddle. I was seduced by the rocking rhythm of the cowbell. 

He does some cowbells and dances a bit.

JJ (CONT.)

Some of the greatest classic bands of all time used cowbells.  That's right, brother!  The Beatles, Hendrix, CCR, Zepplin and the Stones all used cowbell. Cowbell is the power behind some of the most rocking songs of all time.

He starts playing the cowbell during the following:

JJ (CONT.)

Feel the rock... feel the rhythm... the feel the power... of the cowbell.

He starts to head bang and lights fade to black.

SCENE 4

Lights come up on JJ and Slug in the studio.  Slug is setting up some weird items that he will play and JJ watches with curious excitement.  Mel enters with Bay.

MEL

Hey, everyone! I have final band member for our all drummer band! This is Bay Toven.

SLUG

Beethoven! 

JJ

That's a great stage name.

Bay

That's my real name.  Bay... Toven.

SLUG

Wow, you're parents actually named you Beethoven, after the dog?

Bay

What?  No, Bay... Bay Toven. 

SLUG

Yeah, like the dog.

Bay

No... like the composer.

SLUG

What?

JJ

You know the song... Roll over Beethoven.

SLUG

Uh... no.

JJ

You really need to get out more.

SLUG

I hate out.

MEL

Bay... these are our other band members, JJ...

JJ

Howdy!

JJ gives Bay a hardy handshakes which Bay seems annoyed by.

MEL

And Slug.

Bay

I see... how appropriate.

Slug makes a fist and punches his other hand.

SLUG

Don't make me show you where I got the name.

JJ

What brings you here, Bay.  What you play?

BAY

I always wanted to be in an actual rock band.  I was classically trained at some of the best schools in the country.  I could have been a percussionist for some of the greatest symphonies in our country, but I decided I wanted to rock and roll.

MEL

You've come to the right place.

BAY

And I play the xylophone and the cymbals.

SLUG

You have to get classically trained to play the cymbals?

BAY

There is an art to it... I wouldn't expect you to understand.

SLUG

What's that mean?

MEL

Guys... please... let's not fight... we're drummers...

BAY

Percussionists...

MEL

And we make peace.  We're the ones that hold the band together.  We're the harmony and the beat.

BAY

You're right noble lead.  Show us the way.  What song do you have for us first?

MEL

I was thinking we'd improvise, in a jazz sort of way.

JJ

Works for me.

BAY

Improvise... I don't know...

SLUG

They never taught you to improvise at them fancy schools of yours?

BAY

I have been schooled in a variety of music theory.

SLUG

Then improvise.

Slug and JJ begin playing.  Mel happily goes to his drum set and joins in.  Bay looks confused and a bit stressed.  He carefully gets out his symbols, looks at the others with a painful look.  Stands with his cymbals waiting for the right moment.  He almost plays a few times.  Finally Mel stops them.

MEL

Whoa, whoa... hold a second everyone...

When they stop and it's quiet, Bay smiles and crashes his cymbals together.

MEL (CONT.)

Maybe I better rethink this a bit.

JJ

It sounded good to me.

JJ starts playing again and SLUG joins him as lights fade to black.

SCENE 5

Bay looks around the room at all the instruments.

BAY

Sometimes you're given everything and it means nothing.  My parents gave me all the lessons, all the support... everything I needed to succeed as a classically trained musician, but somehow, I was left feeling empty.  I slowly realized what I was doing had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with them.  I spent most of my life doing things for others, trying to figure out what other people want me to do.  I was always guessing at what might make my parents happy, my friends happy... I never asked myself, what would make me happy. I was so worried about people not liking me... and thinking I was selfish. But being selfless can leave a person feeling less... empty. And without an identity. So I finally got tired of it all and quit.  Quit everything... quit the symphony... quit the social pressure... quit worrying about what my parents thought of me and found out who my real friends were. Who could appreciate me for me... not for what I can do or do for them.  And you know I realized after I thought a little bit about myself?  I realized I wanted to be a rock star.  I know... it's crazy, but it's something I can get excited about... it's something that makes me feel alive.  And even if I fail, at least I tried and at least I was happy.  How many people can say they are happier with a failure than a success?

Scene 6

JJ is looking at Bay and studying him. 

BAY

What's the matter? Do I have something on my face?  I hate it when I get food on my face.

Bay tries to use one of his cymbals as a mirror and looks at himself.

JJ

That's the problem, Bay. You're too perfect looking.

BAY

What?

JJ

This is a rock band.  No one ever looks good in a rock band. Neat ain't cool.

BAY

What do you mean? 

JJ

We gotta mess up your hair.

BAY

But I work so hard on it.

JJ

Yes, it's perfect, but perfect is so wrong for a rock star.

BAY

I'm not a rock star.

JJ

You won't be with that attitude.

BAY

Sorry.

JJ

Don't be sorry either.  Rock stars are never sorry.

BAY

Never sorry.  Got it.

JJ messes up Bay's hair.

JJ

Hair is getting better. 

Mel enters.  Slug follows sleepily.

SLUG

We gonna play some music or what?

MEL

You bet. I have some sheet music for you.

SLUG

Sheet music?

MEL

I thought the improvising was nice...

JJ

Nice?

MEL

But maybe some planning might be in order.  After all, we are breaking new ground.

SLUG

With Na Na Hey Hey Good-bye?

MEL

Let's give it a try.

If the actors are able to play the song, then they try it out here.  If not, then the scene continues.

BAY

That's kind of mellow for a rock band isn't it? 

JJ

And totally lame.

MEL

What's wrong?  Not enough cow bell in the song for you?

JJ

Can't we do something with a bit more power to it?  Like Costello's "Lover's Walk"?

BAY

I like the sound of that.

JJ

It goes something like this...

They either play if actors are able or Mel stops them right away.

MEL

No, no. Wait a minute.  This is my group and I say we play Na Na Hey Hey.

BAY

I thought this group belonged to all of us.

JJ

Either we all get a say in this or we all say "hey hey good-bye".

MEL

I started this band so I'm the leader.  Deal wit hit.

JJ

I can't work like this. I quit.

MEL

Fine.

BAY

I don't know about this, Mel.

MEL

Fine, you quit too.

BAY

That isn't what I...

MEL

I know you and JJ got all buddy, buddy.  Go with him for all I care.

JJ

Let's go, Bay.

Bay notices Slug. Slug is crying but trying to hide it.

BAY

Slug?  Are you okay?

SLUG

Yeah, whatever.

BAY

Are you crying?

SLUG

No, shut up.

JJ

Slug is crying.

MEL

What's the matter, Slug?

SLUG

Nothing.

MEL

Are you upset because we're fighting?

SLUG

I don't want to talk about it okay?

JJ

Look... I won't quit okay?  I'll play "Na na na na."

SLUG

I hate "na na na na."

MEL

So you're crying because of the song.

SLUG

No, geez.  Just drop it okay?

BAY

But we're all your friends, Slug. You can talk to us.

SLUG

Are you my friends?  Really?

JJ

Of course we are.

SLUG

But friends don't quit right?  They don't walk out on you.

BAY

That's why you're upset. Because we quit.

SLUG

Everyone's always quitting on me. My whole life... all the people I get to know... quit.  I never do. I'm loyal. I stay.  But they all leave me. Started with my dad... he quit on us when I was little and my mom quit on me even though he was still around. He quit caring and quit feeling anything. Everything I tried, every friend I made, quit on me in some way... I always felt like I failed them... and drove them away.  But here... I finally thought I'd found a place where I could be a part of something.  This time we've been together has been the best days of my life. Sounds pathetic but it's true.  I've never been happier than I've been playing music with all of you.  Coming here each day gives me something to live for, something to make me drag my lazy carcass out of bed. I feel so alive here, playing with all of you.  And it's more than just living... it's the fact I found a place in this world. A place where I matter and I fit in. I didn't feel lost anymore.

Mel, JJ and Bay all look at each other sheepishly and then they look at Slug with smiles.

SLUG

Hug me and you all die.

MEL

What do you say we try something we a beat?

Mel hands out a new song.

JJ

I say... yeah!

Bay

Let's rock!

SLUG

And roll!

Lights fade to black and a song with strong drums plays - or if the actors are able, they can end the scene with a song.






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