This comedy duo skit is written for 2 males but can be performed by men or women. WARNING: Please be sure that if you act out this script, that you do it safely. Don't work with actors who say they can handle the pain. Practice safety so you can enjoy multiple performances and have fun again and again with this play.
(A doctor, Joe, is on stage with a large pain scale poster with facial expressions show levels of pain from 1-10)
Hello my name is Dr Curly Moe but you can call me Joe.
Today we will discuss the medical pain scale
(Points to pain scale poster)
To help me demonstrate exactly what this pain scale means is my assistant... Larry.
(Larry enters happily)
How you feeling?
This represents a 1 on the pain scale. Note the smile and cheerful disposition.
No pain at all?
(Joe gives Larry a hard slap on the back)
The pain would now be a two. Note the slight aggravation.
The eyes narrow a little and the smile is gone
but this subject can still function normally.
(Larry gives Joe a dirty look. Joe smiles and points to the audience. Larry turns back toward them and tries to smile)
Next we have a three.
(Joe pulls Larry's hair)
(Larry rubs head - goes up to a Joe to protest and gets slapped across the face)
And then a four.
Listen here you!
(Joe punches Larry in the stomach)
(Stomps on foot)
(Larry charges but Joe dodges and trips him)
(Larry is moaning and tries to get up)
(Joe gets out duct tape)
(Joe puts duct tape on Larry's arm and pulls off hair)
(Gets Larry in a headlock and pulls a nose hair)
Nine. We now see signs of extreme pain. The subject's eyes are watering.
He's moaning. He is stumbling around disoriented and unable to speak.
Finally for the ten. Ten represents your upper limits. The subject's pain at this level
has become so bad that one appears to be at death's door. Subjects will be crying and
sobbing, begging for someone to put them out of their misery because the pain
is so unbearable that death is preferred to continuing to live with such pain.
And to demonstrate a ten, I will now...
Forget it. Keep your $5. I'm out of here!
Wait! Come back! I will give you an extra dollar.
(Larry gets away and Joe returns sadly)
Oh well - perhaps we can find a volunteer in our audience?
Who would like to show us what ten looks like today?
(Joe looks for a volunteer from the audience)
How about you show them?!
(Larry runs in with a bat or club. Joe screams and runs out. They can run back and forth a few times across the stage with different weapons to add to the comedy if desired)
NOTE: Feel free to modify how Joe inflicts pain on Larry in order to be as safe as possible. You can do things such as a wedgie or pretend to drop a scorpion down their shirt if one of the other suggestions seems too dangerous.
From the published play "Control the Future" by D. M. Larson available on Amazon.com ISBN-13: 978-1540666581
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Here is a video by Sydney Cope and Sydney Webster with 2 women performing the script:
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