Superhero Support Group (Extended Version)
by D. M. Larson
*The play is free to use in the classroom or workshop. To perform the play, you must request permission from firstname.lastname@example.org and if you are charging admission there is a $20 royalty per performances (this royalty is $10 per performance if you are a school, camp or funding raising for charity).
Superhero Support Group (Extended Version)
A short script for seven actors by D. M. Larson from Freedrama.net
DUE TO SLOW DOWNLOADS ON THE WEBSITE, THIS PLAY HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE FREEDRAMA BLOG AT http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2016/06/superhero-support-group-part-1-free.html
SAMPLE SCENES BELOW
Spotlight comes up on a Superhero, Speedo, sitting in a
chair. A figure sits near him but in the darkness.
I'm fast... so fast no one can see me. I thought I had
something special... something I could help people with, but it ended up being
a joke. Everyone started calling me Speedo. That's one of them
guy's swim suits... not a flattering one either... Have you seen a guy in a
How fast are you?
You know that pen that was in your pocket a second ago?
Here it is.
That is fast.
How about a chocolate fudge candy bar... wait... with almonds.
Speedo holds it out to her.
That's what everyone wants me to do... fetch stuff... I
should be called Errand Boy.
And that's why you want to get rid of your power... this burden that haunts you... it ruins your life.
I can do that for you... I can take away this hardship in
your life... this curse... forever.
*Dramatic superhero music*
Speedo and Doctor exit.
Lights come up on a group of people dressed as superheroes
sit in a row of a waiting room.
I wasn't barking.
I was thinking how rough of a day I've had.
That's why you're here.
But I have things to do... crime to fight. I can't wait
around here all day.
You don't have a choice.
I can't take it anymore! I have to get out of here.
You can't stop me. I'm Smack the Superstrong! I will smite you!
Smack swings at Doctor but she backs away and then grabs his
ear and twists. Smack falls to the floor in pain.
There will be no smiting, nor biting.
Everyone please wait your turn and no more disturbances.
Doctor lets go of Smack. There is a ding and Doctor
How did she stop you?
I don't know.
Mind powers. She's got mind powers more powerful than
you can imagine.
Shade comes from behind the chairs.
Our powers are useless around her.
Where'd you come from?
I am Shade. I came from the shadows.
More like from behind the chairs. How long have you
been back there?
Long enough to know what's going on here.
What is going on?
The doctor is removing our powers.
Not only can she stop us. She can take away our
powers... (dramatic pause) ...forever!
Nice dramatic pause.
This is terrible. I'd be nothing without my super
strength! I can't go back to being some loser working at D-Mart.
Personally I'm tired of all the hairballs. She can have
I do get tired of smelling everything.
DOGBOY sniffs around and looks at Shade and makes a face.
You smell like you've been hiding there a LONG time.
We have to escape.
Or smite the doc!
Shhh! She's coming!
Shade hides behind the chairs. The others sit in their
chairs. The Doctor enters with another superhero.
You'll never have to worry about flying again.
I guess it's time to hang up my cape.
Stay off the rooftops. Or we'll have to have another session.
I'm done. Please. I promise.
Very well. No need to schedule a followup then.
Please. Never again.
Catchick stands. Dogboy grabs her arm but she hisses
and pulls away.
Look. I want to be able to go the beach without getting
the urge to use the bathroom. I want to go swimming again. I am
tired of all those naps. Please doctor. Take me next.
Walk this way.
Catchick follows Doctor off. Caper starts to go but
Smack grabs him. Shade comes out.
The doctor took your powers!
I think so.
No, I promised.
Get on that chair and try.
I don't want to go back in there. I promised never to
fly again. I won't do it. Please don't make me. It was horrible.
What did the doctor do?
I can't say. It... it was too terrible.
Get on that chair. I must know if she really took your powers.
Do it or else.
Or else what?
I'll haunt you until the day you die. You know I can be
The doctor is scary. You're just super annoying. Fine. Then you'll let me go?
Caper gets on a chair. They watch and Caper jumps and
The Doctor did it. She really can take our powers.
Smack grabs Caper.
Let's try the window to be sure.
Smack throws Caper through a window. He sticks his head
out. Caper screams. Then there is a thud.
Nope. Can't fly.
Did you have to do that?
Yes, yes I did.
We had to make sure his powers were really gone or if it was
the temporary power jam of being near the doctor.
Dogboy looks out window.
But still... did you have to do that?
He landed on that old lady. He'll live.
What about the old lady?
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2. What does a kachu like to eat?
3. What does a kachu say?
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"GUARDIANS OF THE WALLET" by D. M. Larson
An ambulance is coming for you now. And the policy will cover that ride so you're in luck.
(Ralph waves good-bye and watches person go)
He's lucky. Most people wait until it's too late. Last minute is always better than never. Sometimes I think I should set up my office in the lobby of the hospital emergency room. I could probably sign up half the room as they are waiting... what else are they going to do while they wait for help? Come on. What's the number one thing on their minds? They worry about how they'll pay for the hospital. That's where I come in. I kind of see myself as a hero... swooping in to save the day... can't pay your medical bill? Let me do it for you. I know no one sees an insurance salesman as a hero but we really are. You know how much that heart attack would have cost him without me? You know how much a car accident would cost without insurance? We're not the bad guys... we're your knight in shining armor, protecting you from going bankrupt. We are the guardians of the wallet. Don't let them suck you dry. Insurance will protect you... save you... rescue you... and that's what I wanted to always do with my life. Be a hero.
END OF MONOLOGUE
**** “The Cynical Professor” a monologue by D. M. Larson
Okay class. I know you hate classes that are required for your degree so I am going to try and make this as painless as possible.
Because you're taking a lot of loans, using a lot of credit and building up some serious debt to be here, I don't want this class to be any more difficult than it needs to be. I mean you are going to be paying off these loans for the next 20 or 30 years. It's like you're taking out a mortgage and buying a house. And who can afford a house mortgage anymore when you have all these loans, credit and debts piling up just so you can get a degree in Egyptology or Greek mythology?
That brings me to lesson number one in your Freshman Orientation class. You want to make all your loans worthwhile? You want to be able to pay off your credit card debt when you graduate? Then become a lawyer.
Come on... What's with the moans and growns? Being an attorney can be great. Are you a tree hugger and love the Earth? Be an environmental lawyer. Are you into women's rights? There's a attorney for that. Want to help people who are defaulting on their mortgage and losing their homes or being crushed by credit card debt? There are lawyers for that too. Lawyers make a difference. Lawyers change things. Call an attorney if you want to get things done.
Law not for you? You could play the stock market and do some day trading. Or you could be a software designer. Maybe be an engineer and figure out new ways to get us the limitless electricity that we demand or come up with alternate fuels so we no longer need gas in our cars. You can still help the world without picking a degree that will drown you in debt that you can never pay back.
If you want to study a dead language or some mythological beast, go hang out in the library or watch the History Channel, but don't run up thousands of dollars in loans to study something that won't pay the bills. A Egyptologist is not going to change the world, but an attorney just might have the power to right some wrong.
Gandhi was a lawyer. So was Abraham Lincoln. And Nelson Mandela. These are great people that left their mark on history and transformed nations. I'm not telling you to transfer out of your history classes. History has wonderful lessons for us. I'm telling you not to major in it. Learn from history but then USE what you learned. Go out there and change things. And who better to change things than someone who understands how the system works than a lawyer.
Those of you that agree with me will go declare their majors - pre-law, engineering or economics. Those of you that don't, head on over to the library and write me a 10,000 word report on why your major is so awesome and a plan how you are going to pay off all that debt.
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