ISBN-13: 978-1540666581 or purchase a low cost PDF from CurrClick.com
(Two time travelers, BAKER and JONES, are on stage. They can either be in a spotlight with other people lumbering around in the darkness behind them or them alone on stage with people moaning off stage)
We have traveled back in time to a critical time in our history. This is a key moment where our world was nearly destroyed by a mind numbing technology that turned everyone into zombies. This is the zombie apocalypse!
(Lights come up and people - ZOMBIE JOE and MOE - wander around the stage looking at their cell phones moaning as they walk not looking where they are going and bumping into each other which causes more moaning. More Zombie Cell Phone Users can be added if available)
It's horrible. What caused our ancestors to suffer this terrible fate?
It's these strange devices they are all carrying around and staring at. They've all been put into a trance by these things. They can't stop looking at them.
What's that strange sound they’re all making?
We call it the iMoan.
This is too horrible. I can’t watch. Why did you bring me back to see all this?
Because history tells us you are the one who stops it. A time traveler with your name is the one who saves humanity?
Are you sure it was me? Jones is a pretty common name. I went to school with someone with the same name first and last name even, that’s how common it is.
I sure hope you're the right one. We've been planning this your entire life.
You mean you've been grooming me my whole life to travel back in time and save the world?
That explains the guy in the suit and sunglasses that was always following me around as a kid.
I was hoping you didn't notice that.
He was creepy! He gave me nightmares!
Sorry about that.
I had to get therapy!
We paid for that.
It helped. Thanks.
So how am I supposed to save the world anyway?
We're not sure. We just know that you somehow do it alone. No mention of anyone else.
No mention of you?
Affirmative. Very odd indeed.
Hey! Lookout! That zombie is driving a car while looking at one of those devices!
This is bad. These are all manual vehicles. No self driving cars in this time period.
It's headed right for us!
I have to stop it. You have to be safe! You must complete your mission!
What are you doing?!
(BAKER runs off stage. There is a car screech and thump - or this can be staged in a silly way with a zombie person driving a small kid car or a cutout of a car and hits BAKER)
Oh no! Baker’s dead. What do I do? Okay, stay calm Jones. You were trained for this kind of situation. The emergency kit. Look in the emergency kit. We have a wound self-cleaning bandage, common cold cure tablet, unlimited credit instant currency card good for any time period, instant shelter just add water, daily meal pill… a sonic toothbrush...
(Turns it on. Zombie Joe, who is closest to JONES stops and moans louder. Phone isn’t working anymore. Zombie Joe holds it up to the sky and tries to get reception)
Did the sonic toothbrush just disrupt your phone?
(JONES points it at another person, ZOMBIE MOE, and turns it on. That person’s phone stops working. They moan too and hold it up too trying to get reception).
This sonic toothbrush has higher settings… I’ll turn it to up popcorn stuck between the teeth.
(More zombies stop and moan and hold up their phones. If more actors are not available then the moaning can come from off stage. The first and second zombies, JOE and MOE, are starting to turn back to normal)
What’s going on?
I don’t know.
Where am I?
Welcome to the future, my good people. I have freed you of the terrible creature that took over your world. Be free of this hideous device forever.
(Takes Zombie Moe’s phone and throws it)
Hey! I don’t have insurance on that!
I have the dropsie plan. I can drop it and get a new one. I do that monthly. I always have to have the latest phone.
Let’s go get new ones. I hear the new iPid is awesome.
What’s an iPid?
I have no clue but it’s new!
I want one!
(ZOMBIE MOE and JOE exit)
It’s no good. They are obsessed. I will have to find a way to destroy all the phones. Let’s set this to plaque removal.
(Turns sonic toothbrush on. More moaning)
(Turns it on again. Even more moaning)
(Turns it on again and there is all kinds of moaning from all over - use pre-recorded moans or get audience to join in)
Who would have thought someone could save the world with a sonic toothbrush?
Where is that time traveling device anyway? You’d think an emergency kit would have one or at least a return to home device or something.
Oh well… at least I have this no credit limit currency card…
(ZOMBIE MOE runs in and grabs it)
Zoink! I’m buying me an iPid.
(ZOMBIE MOE runs off)
Hey! Give that back!
(JONES runs off after ZOMBIE MOE. ZOMBIE JOE finds the emergency kit and starts going through it)
A daily meal pill? Hmmm…
(Puts it in his mouth)
ZOMBIE JOE (CONT.)
Hey… it’s like I’m eating… like the food is appearing in my mouth as I suck the pill… Fruit Loops… coffee.... Donuts… some kind of melon… pizza for lunch… uh… why would they put anchovies on it? Uh…
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