THE MISSING SHEEP
10 minute scene from the play “The Gooseville HOA”
By D. M. Larson
CAST OF CHARACTERS (19+)
GRANNY: The long time resident of Gooseville and grandmother to RED and BLUE
RED: Red riding hood loves running errands
BLUE: Little Boy Blue helps with the sheep but prefers to sleep
BIG PIG: The oldest pig
MID PIG: The middle pig
WEE PIG: The littlest pig
SHEPHERD: The boy who cried wolf who takes care of the SHEEP
SHEEP: They just say “baa” and there can be a few or a lot of them
MUFFIT: Little Miss Muffit who loves to eat curds and whey
JACK: A clumsy young man who lives in Gooseville with his sister JILL
JILL: Sister of JACK who also lives in Gooseville
WINKY: Wee Willy Winky likes to make sure everyone goes to bed on time and he gets into everyone’s business
FOX: Someone new in Gooseville who would like to make it his new home
WOLF: Friend of FOX who enjoys making trouble
MARY: Friend of FOX who likes SHEEP
HUMPTY: Humpty Dumpty Private Egg likes to solve mysteries
CAT: Plays a fiddle
COW: Loves to jump
DOG: Likes telling jokes
SCENE
(SHEEP all wander on stage. FOX sneaks in with WOLF)
WOLF: What are we doing back here?
FOX: Revenge.
WOLF: What are you going to do now?
FOX: Steal all their sheep.
WOLF: I like this plan.
FOX: There’s one thing sheep can’t resist.
WOLF: What’s that?
FOX: Mary. Sheep can’t resist her.
(MARY enters and SHEEP stop and look at her)
MARY: Hi sheep.
SHEEP: Baaa!
MARY: Let’s go play! Follow me!
SHEEP: Baaa!
(MARY leads sheep away and off stage)
WOLF: So simple.
FOX: Yet brilliant.
WOLF: Let’s go.
(FOX and WOLF exit. SHEPHERD enters)
SHEPHERD: Oh no! Where are my sheep? Wolf! Wolf!
(GRANNY, RED, 3 PIGS, WINKY, MUFFIT and JILL rush in. JACK runs in after and crashes into everyone)
RED: What happens?
SHEPHERD: My sheep are missing.
GRANNY: Why did you shout wolf?
SHEPHERD: I can smell him.
JILL: There is a weird odor.
RED: We need help.
JACK: Who can we call?
GRANNY: How about Humpty Dumpty?
WINKY: The hard boiled detective?
RED: I’ll get him.
(RED runs off)
SHEPHERD: My poor sheep.
GRANNY: We’ll try to save them.
JACK: I better get my crown if Humpty Dumpty is coming.
WEE PIG: Your crown?
JILL: We’re related to the king.
JACK: We’re practically royalty.
(JACK crashes into RED who is entering as JACK leaves)
MID PIG: How come you live here?
BIG PIG: And not in the castle?
JILL: It’s a really interesting story actually…
RED: There’s no time for that. Humpty Dumpty is here.
(JILL leaves annoyed. HUMPTY enters. Everyone cheers. OPTIONAL SONG: HUMPTY DUMPTY PRIVATE EGG: https://freedrama.net/Gooseville-Humpty-Dumpty-Private-Egg.mp3)
(ALL cheer and applaud)
HUMPTY: Thank you, yolks. I’m egg-cited to be here.
WINKY: Welcome to the royal detective, solver of mysteries.
HUMPTY: I hear there’s a case that needs to be cracked.
SHEPHERD: Someone took my sheep.
BIG PIG: It was probably that big bad wolf.
MID PIG: The one we locked up with the fox.
WEE PIG: But they went wee wee wee, all the way home.
HUMPTY: How did they scramble out of here?
GRANNY: We’re not sure.
RED: Blue was supposed to be watching them.
HUMPTY: Where is Blue?
WINKY: Probably sleeping somewhere.
RED: I’ll get him.
(RED exits)
HUMPTY: I can see you’re all boiling mad about this.
SHEPHERD: I’m steamed!
HUMPTY: But I will get to the yolk of the matter.
MUFFIT: Oh, thank you, detective.
(RED enters with BLUE)
HUMPTY: Speak of the deviled eggs.
RED: Here’s Blue.
BLUE: I didn’t see nothing. I don’t know anything.
WINKY: Because you slept through it all.
HUMPTY: Now Blue. You’re the key to cracking this case.
BLUE: I am?
HUMPTY: You were the last one to see the criminals.
BLUE: Yes.
HUMPTY: Did you hear them say anything when they were hatching a plan?
BLUE: Well… I was kind of sleeping.
HUMPTY: You might have heard something. Think.
BLUE: Seems like they might have said something…
HUMPTY: Egg-cellent. Please tell me.
BLUE: They said something about a cat, cow and dog.
HUMPTY: Egg-xactly as I suspected.
GRANNY: He’s good.
HUMPTY: Fetch me the cat, cow and dog.
PIGS: Yes, sir!
(PIGS exit. BLUE finds somewhere to nap)
HUMPTY: Meanwhile, let’s do a little Easter egg hunt.
WINKY: What?
HUMPTY: That’s code for searching for clues.
WINKY: Oh, how egg-citing.
(HUMPTY laughs)
HUMPTY: Well said.
(HUMPTY looks around and everyone watches)
RED: It’s exciting to see a detective at work.
GRANNY: He’s the best.
(HUMPTY finds something)
HUMPTY: I believe this is where they hatched their plan.
(HUMPTY holds up dish and spoon)
MUFFIT: My dish and spoon.
HUMPTY: I believe it once contained curds and whey.
MUFFIT: You’re right.
HUMPTY: They used these tools to escape and scramble away.
MUFFIT: Oh, no!
(PIGS enter with CAT, DOG and COW)
CAT: What’s going on here?
DOG: Is this some kind of joke?
COW: Let go or I’m jumping on your head.
DOG: I’d like to see that!
(DOG laughs)
HUMPTY: Oh, Doggy. You crack me up.
CAT: Oh, no. It’s Humpty Dumpty.
COW: What do you want, egghead?
HUMPTY: Why don’t you all come out of your shells and tell me the truth?
CAT: The truth about what?
HUMPTY: You know what.
(DOG laughs)
DOG: I love riddles.
CAT: Your brains are scrambled.
COW: We don’t know anything about the missing sheep.
(GRANNY, RED and MUFFIT gasp. DOG laughs nervously)
HUMPTY: Who said anything about sheep?
CAT: Uh, uh… the pigs told us.
BIG PIG: We did not.
MID PIG: No way.
WEE PIG: Not a peep.
(HUMPTY gets tough)
HUMPTY: Where is your friend the fox?
SHEPHERD: And where is the wolf?
CAT: We don’t know.
HUMPTY: You’re lying.
COW: Would you believe me if I said they were on the moon?
(HUMPTY thinks and then smiles)
HUMPTY: I believe I might.
DOG: Clever clue, Claribelle.
COW: Solve my riddle and you find your sheep.
CAT: Now, if someone could find my fiddle.
(DOG giggles)
HUMPTY: I believe the dog knows where it is.
CAT: What?! Where’s my fiddle, dog?
DOG: I hid it from you.
CAT: Where?
DOG: On the moon!
(DOG runs off laughing. CAT chases him)
COW: Are we done here?
WINKY: Do you know the answer to the riddle?
HUMPTY: I do. You may eggs-it.
COW: I’m leaping out of here.
(COW jumps away. JACK and JILL return. JACK is wearing a crown)
SHEPHERD: So you know where they took my sheep.
HUMPTY: I do. And I shall reveal the answer after I have a drink of water.
JACK: I’ll fetch you some water.
JILL: Let’s get it from the well up the hill.
(JACK and JILL run off)
HUMPTY: I’ll just sit here on this wall while I wait.
(HUMPTY goes to a little wall to sit)
MUFFIT: This is so egg-citing.
RED: I’m over easy with egg-citement.
HUMPTY: Solving this mystery makes me feel sunny side up.
(JACK yells and stumbles on stage with pale. JILL stumbles after him)
JILL: Look out, Jack!
JACK: Help!
(JACK runs into HUMPTY who falls behind wall and JACK breaks his crown when JILL crashed into him)
GRANNY: Oh, no!
(JACK sits sadly on the ground looking at his broken crown. JILL sits next to him. All the others look at HUMPTY behind the wall)
BIG PIG: What a mess?
MID PIG: He had quite a fall.
WEE PIG: He’s all cracked up.
END OF SCENE
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