FROM WAITING ON TRAINS
Cast of Characters
Verna: A ticket window woman who would rather not be working.
She is rude, crude, and unacceptable. Customer courtesy is not her specialty.
Sue: business person waiting for her
Rut: A gentleman, called a bum by some, who simply wants a nice quiet place to sleep.
Time and Place Dec. 31, 1999. A train station in an overgrown hick town.
(Lights come up on the waiting room of a train station. A
woman, VERNA, sits at a ticket window R, filing her nails and chewing gum)
A phone rings in SUE's bag. A poorly dressed gentleman, some might call a bum, named RUT, pops up from where he has been sleeping on the upstage end of the row of chairs.
(Cries to sky)
(Jumps up when she sees RUT)
What in heaven's name?!
What's this bum doing in here?!
Shouldn't he be removed?
What for? He ain't causin' no harm.
(Ring. Stands on chair, arms to sky)
Hello, God? Is that you?
Look at him. He's drunk.
Maybe we're the ones who's drunk and he's the only one who's sober.
Oh, you're just a regular philosopher. (To phone) Hello.
(This and RUT's next dialog over lap)
Yes, yes. I'm sorry there's a lot of noise here.
Yes, what? What do you want me to do God?
(Hand over phone)
Will someone shut him up!
Oh, please God. Please don't be angry with me. Please be easy on poor little Rut.
He thinks you're God.
`Bout time God had a little competition.
It's not funny.
I never said it was funny God.
Look here you.
(Innocent, saintly pose to sky)
Quit calling me God. And...will you look at me.
I am looking God.
No, not up there; down here.
(Trying to get in front of him)
Where are you God?
My name's Sue, not God.
God's real name is Sue?
Will someone do something with him? I have an important call here.
(Stands on chair, to sky)
Please, don't be angry with me God...I mean, oh great Sue. Please don't cut me off.
Do something with him or I'll complain to your boss.
(Goes to RUT)
Okay, Rut. That's enough for now. Let's go.
(As he steps down with Verna's help)
I think I lost my connection.
We know, Rut. You lost it long before this though. Come on. Let's get you some coffee.
(As they go into Verna's area)
Funny. I always imagined that God's voice would be a little more manly.
Hello, hello...He hung up.
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