BORDERS

by D. M. Larson

CAST OF CHARACTERS

 

LEROY: Old Texas rancher

MOLLY: His quiet wife

REGGIE and MOON: A couple of hippies who come along to give Leroy a hard time about his habit of shooting things he shouldn't

 

PLACE and TIME

 

A ranch in modern day Texas.

 

 

 

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* * *

(Older Texas rancher makes angry entrance into the kitchen of his home. His wife MOLLY quietly does housework and hardly reacts to his anger)

 

LEROY

(Drops rifle onto table. Out of breath)

I had to kill another one of them! This one broke down my fence. Usually they just hop on over, but this one actually busted up my fence. Had to shoot it. Wanted the water. Barely got enough water for the cattle. Can't spare it.

 

MOLLY

(She speaks in an unenthusiastic monotone)

You'll get fined again.

 

LEROY

I know it. But I just can't sit there and let them take my water. This is the dessert. My animals need that water. I can't go sharing it with every thirsty thing that thinks it needs some.

 

MOLLY

What was that last fine?

 

LEROY

$4,000! Can you believe it? The judge told me it was just a gentle reminder. There was nothing gentle about it. That was a slap in the face.

 

MOLLY

Now you killed another.

 

LEROY

I'm one step ahead of em this time. Buried it so nobody will know. No witnesses this time neither.

 

MOLLY

You sure?

 

LEROY

Sure, I'[m sure.

 

MOLLY

What if somebody finds it?

 

LEROY

They ain't gonna. And if them liberal yeh-hoos snoop around here again, I'll bury them too.

 

MOLLY

(This gets her attention. She stops her kitchen work. She gives a very slight hint of surprise)

What if it was the sheriff? You'd bury the sheriff?

 

LEROY

(He says the work liberal like it's a dirty word)

You bet I would. Who'd thought he'd take up a liberal cause like this? What's this world coming too when you can't even count on your sheriff to uphold the good family values our good nation of Texas was founded on.

 

MOLLY

(Back to her monotone and her kitchen work)

It's a shame.

 

LEROY

My family has been on this ranch for generations. This is my land. I worked hard to make it what it is. Now these liberal commies come in here and try to tell me how to live on my land. Might as well give in. Just build me an expressy stand on the highway out there and sell sandals. And I'll get me some of that tofu. Tofu and sprouts.

 

MOLLY

You don't like tofu.

 

LEROY

(Frustrated)

I know I don't like tofu. I'z making a point, woman.

 

 

MOLLY

What was it, dear?

 

LEROY

(Thinks then gets angry)

I don't know. I'z just making a point. Stupid liberal, squash loving, tree lovers. Just let them take a step on my land. I'll bury them too.

(Dogs barking. Sound of car driving up)

Now who's that?

 

MOLLY

(Looks out window)

I think it's the liberals, dear.

 

LEROY

Say, what?

 

MOLLY

(Still looking)

It's one of them Volkswagen vans like they like to drive. Got all kinds of stickers on it. Looks like a billboard.

 

LEROY

(Tries looking out)

I can't see nothing.

 

MOLLY

Get your glasses, dear.

 

LEROY

(Pats around on his shirt and pats)

Where'd I put them?

 

MOLLY

There's two of them getting out of the van. Got funny clothes on. Lots of colors.

 

LEROY

(Finds glasses then looks out)

Holy J Spirit! It�s them hippies from town.

 

MOLLY

What hippies?

 

LEROY

They came here after that article was in the paper about my trial. They say I shouldn't have been fined. They say I should have been put in jail. You know it's a sad day when you can't defend your own land. What do they want me to do? Put up a sign that says free water.

 

MOLLY

They're almost to the door.

 

LEROY

My gun ain't loaded! Where you keep the shells now?

 

MOLLY

In the cookie jar.

 

LEROY

(Rushes to cookie jar. Knocking at door)

Don't let them in.

 

 

MOLLY

Okay.

(More knocking)

You want me to tell them you're not home.

 

LEROY

I'll shoot first and talk later.

(Open cookie jar)

We're out of bullets?!

 

MOLLY

Maybe I moved em.

 

LEROY

(In a panic)

Where?

 

MOLLY

(Shrugs. Unconcerned)

I don't know.

 

REGGIE

(REGGIE and MOON enter and are on the porch. Knocks and calls out)

We know you're in there. We want to talk to you.

 

 

 

 

LEROY

Get out of here! You�re trespassing!

(To MOLLY)

Call the sheriff.

 

MOLLY

Okay.

(Exits kitchen)

 

MOON

(Knocks)

Let us in or else!

 

LEROY

Or else? What kind of lame excuse for a threat is that?

 

REGGIE

Did he just insult you?

 

MOON

I believe he did.

 

REGGIE

Don�t insult Moon. She�s sensitive.

 

LEROY

Moon? What kind of name is that?

 

REGGIE

It�s the name of a powerful woman who believes in herself.

 

LEROY

Do you mean the moon in the sky or the moon you get when you pull your pants down?

(Peaks out)

Judging by the look of you I�d pick the second.

 

MOON

That�s it!

(She backs up and runs at door)

 

LEROY

(Pulls open door and MOON sails in and runs into table)

Don�t bust my door!

 

REGGIE

(Enters and heads for LEROY who backs away)

I wouldn�t have talked to Moon that way.

 

MOON

(LEROY backs into MOON)

I can make a real mess when I want to.

 

LEROY

What do you want with me?

 

REGGIE

(Pulls out a chair)

Sit.

(MOON shoves him down onto chair)

 

LEROY

(Rises)

I don�t take orders in my own house.

 

MOON

(Shoves him down even harder)

She said sit.

 

LEROY

(Rubs shoulder)

Okay. I�m sitting.

 

MOLLY

(Enters)

I can�t find the number for the sheriff, dear.

 

LEROY

It�s 911!

(Tries to get up and is shoved down)

Run, Molly. Get out of here!

(REGGIE makes a move toward MOLLY, but stops when MOLLY casually heads toward them)

 

MOLLY

I got your lunch in the microwave. It�s getting hard sitting in there.

 

LEROY

I don�t care about my lunch!

 

MOLLY

See, you get all fussy when you don�t eat.

(Pulls container out)

 

REGGIE

(Sniffs)

What is that?

 

MOLLY

Tripe on toast.

 

MOON

Tripe?!

 

REGGIE

Isn�t that?

 

MOON

Uh-huh� I mean a burger is bad enough, but tripe? Uh�

 

 

LEROY

You two let me go or my wife will feed it to you.

 

MOLLY

You ladies hungry? Got some lettuce and tomatoes. I could make a salad.

 

REGGIE

No, thank you. We just ate.

 

MOLLY

Tea maybe.

 

MOON

Tea would be nice.

(MOLLY precedes getting iced tea)

 

LEROY

(Gets up)

Molly, what are you doing?

(Shoved down)

Don�t offer them nothing. These here folks are criminals.

 

REGGIE

The only criminal in here is you, my friend.

 

LEROY

You break into my home and you call me a criminal.

 

MOON

You opened the door and let us in fair and square. No breaking in.

 

LEROY

You were going to break down my door.

 

REGGIE

Moon was only going to knock forcefully.

 

LEROY

(Rises)

Give me my gun and I�ll show you forceful.

(Shoved down)

Stop doing that.

 

MOON

Then stop getting up.

 

MOLLY

(Hands them glasses. Friendly and not so distant)

Here�s your tea, ladies. Care for a slice of lemon.

 

REGGIE

Sure, that would be lovely.

 

LEROY

Stop being nice to them.

 

MOON

Shut up, you or I�ll shove you on the floor.

 

LEROY

See, Molly. They�re threatening me.

 

MOLLY

Yes, dear.

(Smiles as she gives them lemons)

There you go ladies.

 

LEROY

So what do you ladies want?

 

REGGIE

Can you believe it, Moon? He doesn�t even know.

 

MOON

Amazing. He�s clueless.

 

LEROY

What a waste of food�

(MOLLY snickers then tries to hide it as a cough)

Molly! Did you just laugh?

 

MOLLY

No, dear. Just got a tickle in my throat.

 

LEROY

You better not laugh at me or I�ll smack you so hard you�ll have to take a bus back from Albuquerque.

 

REGGIE

We�ll be doing all the smacking around here.

 

 

LEROY

See, they just threatened me again.

 

MOLLY

More iced tea?

 

MOON

No, I�m fine.

 

REGGIE

You can top off my glass. That�s wonderful tea. How you make it?

 

LEROY

I can�t believe this. I�m getting tortured and you�re discussing tea.

 

MOLLY

(Smiles a little)

It�s moon tea.

 

REGGIE

Here that, Moon?

 

MOON

(Laughs)

Uh-huh.

(LEROY crosses his arms and scowls)

 

REGGIE

I heard of sun tea, but moon tea?

 

MOLLY

Old family recipe. Learned it from my grandma.

(Brings over pitcher)

 

MOON

Very nice.

(I think I�m ready for some more)

 

LEROY

I can�t believe you�d give these pinko skirts our moon tea.

 

REGGIE

Did he just call us skirts?

 

MOON

I think we just stepped back into the 1950�s.

 

LEROY

Oh, God. What did I do to deserve this?

 

MOON

Still clueless.

 

REGGIE

You know. This is kind of fun watching him squirm. I could do this all day.

 

MOLLY

You want me to make that salad?

 

MOON

(Laughs)

Maybe later.

 

LEROY

Later? Can�t we get this over with?

 

REGGIE

That all depends on you.

 

LEROY

On me? What�s this all got to do with me?

 

MOON

Only everything.

 

REGGIE

You are the root of all evil, my friend.

 

LEROY

What are you talking about?

 

REGGIE

Shall we clue him in?

 

MOON

It is getting tiresome.

 

MOLLY

Is this about that newspaper article?

 

REGGIE

Give the lady a prize.

 

LEROY

Oh, that stupid article written. I got my punishment. I don�t know why everyone has to make big news out of it.

 

MOON

That was no punishment.

 

REGGIE

That was only a little slap on the hand.

 

LEROY

It was four thousand dollars! You call that a slap on the hand? It was an insult.

 

MOON

I feel ill.

 

REGGIE

What�s wrong?

 

MOON

How can he not see how horrible this all is?

 

REGGIE

That�s why we�re here, Moon. To educate the man.

 

LEROY

The only education I need is how to kick you big butts back to Santa Fe or Taos or wherever they�z growing hippies nowdays.

 

MOON

Now he�s talking about my butt.

 

REGGIE

Moon�s very sensitive about her butt.

 

LEROY

She must be real sensitive, cause it�s a big one.

 

MOON

Can I kill him?

 

REGGIE

Let�s put it to a vote.

 

 

MOON

Sounds fair.

 

REGGIE

All in favor in letting Moon kill this here gentleman.

(MOON and REGGIE raise hands)

All opposed.

(LEROY raises his hand. MOLLY doesn�t)

Two to one. Kill him, Moon.

 

LEROY

(Angry at MOLLY for not voting with him)

Molly!

(MOON sits on LEROY)

Ahh!

 

MOON

(She hops up and down on him)

How you like that big butt now, boy?!

(MOLLY is trying not to laugh)

 

LEROY

Stop! Stop! I�ll do whatever you want, just stop.

 

REGGIE

Okay, Moon. Lay off a minute.

(MOON gets up)

 

MOON

Plenty more of that coming your way.

 

LEROY

(Rubs knees)

Oh, Holy J. Spirit. My legs is murdered.

 

REGGIE
Now, we expect a little more cooperation out of you.

 

LEROY

Sure, whatever.

 

MOON

I believe the correct reply is yes, ma�am.

 

 

 

LEROY

(Mumbles)

Yes, ma�am.

 

REGGIE

I can’t hear you.

 

LEROY

Yes, ma�am.

 

MOON

Much better.

 

REGGIE

Let�s get something straight. You think four thousand dollars is to high a price for taking a life.

 

LEROY

A life? You call that a life. I did it a favor putting it out of its misery. All hungry and dried out. It wouldn�t have made it more than a couple more miles past my place.

 

MOON

Listen to him. Calling a living soul an it.

 

REGGIE

This is just too wrong.

 

LEROY

And you�re a couple of she-its.

 

REGGIE

Maybe Moon should sit on you again.

 

LEROY

What do you want from me?

 

MOLLY

Can I say something?

 

REGGIE
Of course, ma�am. Go right ahead.

 

MOLLY

(Reluctantly goes up to LEROY)

Now, Leroy. Can�t you see why these ladies is upset?

 

LEROY

Cause we don�t have any cookies and ice cream?

 

MOON

That�s it! He�s dead.

(REGGIE holds her back)

 

MOLLY

Leroy. What you did was wrong?

 

LEROY

What did you say?

(He rises threateningly. REGGIE pushes him back down)

Ow�

 

REGGIE
She talks. You listen.

 

MOLLY

Leroy, killing ain�t right.

 

LEROY

But I wasn�t killing nothing worthwhile.

 

MOLLY

Maybe not to you.

 

LEROY

What are you saying, Molly? You saying you think I�m wrong.

 

MOLLY

Maybe.

 

LEROY

I don�t believe I know you anymore. Who are you and who took my wife? Who took my quiet little woman who cooks and cleans and gives me foot rubs?

 

MOON

Foot rubs?

 

REGGIE

(Disgusted)

Ugh.

 

MOLLY

But you�ve never done anything that horrible before.

 

LEROY

What�s so horrible about what I did? I was merely taking out the trash and cleaning up this sorry society of ours. I�m sick and tired of hearing about tolerance and equality. Where does that leave me? Where�s the tolerance for me? Where�s my equality?!

(Breaks down. Rests his head in his hands a moment. Then looks up)

Life used to be so much easier when I was a boy. We knew who to like and who to hate. We knew which ones was the right ones to marry and which ones to avoid.

 

REGGIE

Things change.

 

LEROY

But I don�t what them to change. Don�t you get it? I like things the way they are.

 

MOLLY

But some of us don�t like it, Leroy.

(MOLLY leaves crying)

 

LEROY

(Rises to go after her)

Molly, wait.

(No one stops him, but then he sits down upset)

Why do things have to change? Why can�t they stay on their side of the border?

 

MOON

They want what you don�t� change.

 

REGGIE
They are trying to make better lives for themselves.

 

MOON

And they come here expecting a chance to start a new life.

 

REGGIE

Instead, they find hate, prejudice, and violence.

 

MOON

Still, they are willing to risk their lives and cross miles of desert.

 

REGGIE

And a few of them come to you, asking for water. Water. Not money, not a job� just water.

 

MOON

And what do you do?

 

LEROY

(Quietly)

I kill them.

(Then angry)

I kill the trespassers.

 

REGGIE

I believe the word is murder.

 

LEROY

Look. I�ve already been on trial. Why don�t you take it up with the judge?

 

MOON

He�s next on our list.

 

LEROY

So what are you going to do with me?

 

REGGIE

We�d leave you with your conscious to torture you, but since you don�t seem to have one, we have this.

(Hands him a paper)

 

LEROY

(Squints)

What is it?

 

MOON

A boycott on your cattle.

 

LEROY

What?

 

MOON

We are calling for a nationwide boycott on your cattle. Any meat packing company that buys your beef will also be subject to a boycott.

 

LEROY

You and what army?

 

REGGIE

Us and Oprah, that�s who.

 

LEROY

You wouldn�t?

 

MOON

We would.

 

REGGIE

So farewell, Leroy. Nice talking to you.

 

MOON

We�ll say hi to the judge for you.

(REGGIE and MOON exit)

 

LEROY

Molly? Molly, come here. We got to call and warn that judge.

(Upset)

And we got to call Charlie. Got to make sure they didn�t get to him. He�s my biggest buyer. I�m sure he wouldn�t stop buying my cattle cause of this little thing.

(Yells)

Molly?! Where are you?

 

MOLLY

(Enters with her hand in her apron)

Leroy, is it okay to kill?

 

LEROY

What kind of stupid question is that?

 

MOLLY

Is it okay?

 

LEROY

Sure, when it�s some useless, godless creature that�s a waste of food.

(Looks around)

Where do you hide them phone numbers? I swear you�d lose your head if it weren�t screwed on.

 

MOLLY

Leroy�

 

LEROY

Shut up and help me look.

 

MOLLY

Listen to me.

 

LEROY

Not now, woman. I need to make them calls.

 

MOLLY

No, listen to me now.

(She pulls out a pistol from her apron)

 

LEROY

(Angry. Fists clentched)

I told you�

(Turns to her and stops)

Molly, what you doing with that gun?

 

MOLLY

It�s my daddy�s gun. He gave it to me as a wedding present. Said I might need it if I was gonna marry you.

 

LEROY

Give that here before you hurt yourself.

 

MOLLY

(She cocks the pistol)

Don�t, Leroy.

 

LEROY

Molly, this is insane.

 

MOLLY

It is. My whole life with you has been. And I put up with it. The yelling, the fooling around, the drinking, the gambling� even the hitting.

 

LEROY

I don�t hit you�

 

MOLLY

You don�t remember.

(Waves gun precariously)

You don�t remember!

 

LEROY

Careful, Molly.

 

MOLLY

When we lost the baby, you were so upset� so was I� I wanted a baby so bad� I was so sad� I couldn�t cook� I couldn�t clean� you got so angry with me� you hurt me�

 

LEROY

That was so long ago.

 

MOLLY

It doesn�t matter how long ago it was. It still hurts.

 

LEROY

I�m sorry, Molly. I really am.

 

MOLLY

Sorry, just ain�t enough for me anymore.

(Aims pistol)

 

LEROY

Molly, no!

(BLACKOUT. Silence. Then after a moment, TAPE. On the TAPE are sounds of the night and people running, calling out: �Vaminos, Rapido, Cuidodo hombre, Este rancho es muy peligroso�)

 

END OF PLAY

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