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The D&D BnB “The Hands of Fate” By D. M. Larson Copyright © 2017 All Rights Reserved Please do NOT repost the text of this script online. For permission to perform the play, contact doug@freedrama.net. Buy a low cost PDF of this scene at Sellfy.com |
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CAST OF CHARACTERS (4 actors any gender) PAT and ROBIN are travelers who get lost and find a strange bed and breakfast. SERVANT is a strange, creepy worker at the bed and breakfast. MASTER is a fantasy role players game leader who is over-dramatic and a little scary. SCENE (The Hands of Fate) (Lights come up on a Bed and Breakfast. But it is a most unusual BnB. It is the D&D BnB which is a role playing game themed hotel for players of the game “Damsels and Dominions.” The decor is filled with medieval fantasy props and art. A strange SERVANT who dresses in a medieval fantasy costume lurks around the room, being creepy and mysterious. Suddenly the front door opens and SERVANT hides. PAT and ROBIN enter) PAT Where are we? ROBIN The GPS says Las Vegas. PAT This is not Las Vegas. ROBIN It kind of looks like a theme hotel. Excalibur maybe. PAT I told you not to buy a GPS off of eBay. ROBIN But it was a great deal. PAT It looks three months from a slow boat from China and now we find out it doesn’t even work right. ROBIN But look at this place. It’s really interesting. PAT Interesting is a word. And it’s not quite the right word for this place. ROBIN We might have found a diamond in the rough. PAT We found the rough. Waiting for the diamond. (SERVANT emerges) PAT There it is. ROBIN Uh… hi… SERVANT Visitors… I must tell the Master we have visitors. PAT The Master? Is it like the front desk guy or something. SERVANT The Master is all… he is… the Master. PAT The Master of what? SERVANT Of this Dominion! ROBIN Dominion huh? I could have swore this was a hotel. SERVANT It is the D&D BnB. A paradise for gamers who play “Damsels and Dominions.” PAT The old role playing game. People still play that? (SERVANT comes at him angrily) SERVANT We do! (SERVANT calms down) SERVANT (CONT.) Well, the Master does. He is the greatest Dominion Master in the history of the game. ROBIN Yeah, his name sounds familiar… The Master. I swear I’ve heard that name before. SERVANT He is very famous. PAT Well, it was nice meeting you… but we still have a long way to go. Just point us the right way for Vegas. SERVANT But it is getting late… and the Master has been expecting you. ROBIN Expecting us. SERVANT He said guests were coming today… He is so wise and wonderful. He foresaw your arrival. PAT Maybe the expected ones are right behind us. We just stopped for directions. (SERVANT blocks their way) SERVANT It is your destiny to be here. There are no others. ROBIN Looks like there haven’t been any others for a long time. SERVANT Very long time. PAT This looks like a very pleasant place and the theme is to die for, but we really must be going. I have a date with a hot tub. SERVANT I can make a hot bath for you while you wait for the Master. Boiling hot. The hottest. So hot it peels the outmost layer of your skin. You’ll feel reborn. ROBIN Oh, that sounds lovely. (SERVANT locks the door and starts to go) PAT You distract him and I’ll make a run for it. ROBIN Then how do I escape? PAT I’ll go get help. ROBIN Thanks… you’re a real hero. (ROBIN holds up cell phone) ROBIN (CONT.) When did our cell phones last work? PAT About 15 miles ago I think. ROBIN This place is loaded with weapons. Grab a sword or a battle ax or something and we’ll fight our way out. (PAT and ROBIN go for weapons. MASTER enters with SERVANT) MASTER Yes! Arm yourselves! And prepare for the battle of your life! SERVANT It’s the Master. The Master is here. The Master is in the house. MASTER So you have dared to enter my Dominion?! PAT Only by mistake. Big misunderstand. We’ll go now. Bye bye. MASTER You must stay and face your fates! As my guests. ROBIN See we have reservations already in Vegas… MASTER Nonsense! You will stay here, with me, at the finest Damsel and Dominion themed established ever conceived! PAT Finest? And only? MASTER Yes, it is one of a kind! We are the only and best! ROBIN Hard to duplicate this kind of uniqueness. MASTER I will have my servant prepare your rooms. PAT That’s not necessary. MASTER You will stay! Or you will pay! ROBIN What? SERVANT The first night is free of charge. Unless you leave early, then you will have to pay. MASTER Survive one night with me and then it is free. PAT That’s the worst freebie I’ve ever been offered I think. ROBIN So we get a free night if we don’t leave? MASTER Correct! ROBIN It’s worth a shot. PAT What? ROBIN I’m on a limited budget. A free night would be nice. PAT What’s the catch? MASTER You must survive a night of play Damsels and Domonions with the Master! ROBIN But we’ve never played. MASTER What?! This is blasphemy. (He starts hitting SERVANT) MASTER (CONT.) How dare you bring me Noobs! PAT Wait, wait. We’ve played. Remember back in 1982 after we say Return of the Jedi for the 12th time we went over to Bill’s house and played. ROBIN Oh, that’s right. PAT See, we’ve been play since 1982. ROBIN That’s a very long time ago. MASTER Indeed. You must be excellent players. PAT We’re off the chart. MASTER Then let the games begin! (MASTER exits) PAT You okay? (SERVANT nods) SERVANT The Master is a kind and good Master. He takes good care of me and allows me to serve him. ROBIN How nice for the Master. PAT What do we do now? SERVANT Dinner is first. ROBIN Dinner? I thought this was a bed and breakfast. SERVANT We serve dinner instead of breakfast. I must go prepare it for you. PAT Wash your hands first. (SERVANT looks at his filthy hands) SERVANT Master says I must never wash these. They are the hands of fate. (SERVANT sniffles and wipes his nose with his hand and exits) ROBIN I wonder if the dinner is free? PAT You’re going to eat it? ROBIN I never turn down a free meal. PAT You’re stomach might turn it down though. (MASTER enters) MASTER Welcome Damsel and Dominion players to your evening dining experience. A complete adventure meal guided by yours truly, the Dominion Master. Enter players and face your fates! (SERVANT urges PAT and ROBIN to sit) MASTER (CONT.) We will begin our meal by entering a mysterious cavern. You approach a light flickering in the distance. There you see little waterfalls that line the cavern wall. A mysterious voice rings out, “Drink! And be made wiser! Drink! And be made stronger! Drink! Or you’ll be cast out from this magical realm… forever!” You fill your goblets with the mysterious waters. But which one will you choose? (SERVANT enters with a tray of goblets) MASTER (CONT.) One goblet is a magical sparkling fairy brew. PAT Looks like soda pop. MASTER These are not drinks for mortals. Be wary of their magical gifts. Some will bring you great power! While others may curse you. ROBIN A lot of energy drinks are like that. MASTER Next there is devil’s blood. PAT Looks like tomato juice. ROBIN Or fruit punch.
MASTER Cast your die. And see which goblet you will choose. PAT Huh? SERVANT Roll the dice. ROBIN It’s like a board game…. without the board. PAT Whatever. (PAT rolls. SERVANT sighs) PAT (CONT.) Look. I’m number one. MASTER You receive Dragon’s Spit. ROBIN Looks like water. PAT A bit cloudy for water. I hope it’s not real spit. MASTER This drink give you -2 confusion. PAT You said it. MASTER Bring forth the appetizers! SERVANT Yes, Master. (SERVANT goes and gets another tray) MASTER The warriors find a secret passage and lead the way into another chamber. It is a treasure chamber! There are Rings of Power! PAT Looks like onion rings. MASTER The Shield of Tijuana. ROBIN Tortillas with cheese. MASTER Cast your die! And see which treasure you receive. (ROBIN rolls) ROBIN We rolled a 2. MASTER You receive the plague! PAT Oh, great. (SERVANT gives them a bowl) ROBIN Grasshoppers?! SERVANT In some countries, they’re a delicacy. PAT Can I trade for the onion rings?
MASTER There will be no trading! Your fate is destined. Ready yourselves… for you hear a mighty roar from the caverns below. You hear mighty claws scratching the rock walls and it climbs toward you at lightning speed. The beast bursts into the room. It’s the Bedazzled Beast of Baramouthe. (SERVANT brings in a large covered dish and growl and pretends like it is a monster) PAT Whatever it is, it smells good. ROBIN Anything will be better than grasshoppers. PAT Oh man. I rolled a 1 again. (MASTER laughs) MASTER Then you only get the bones. (SERVANT gives them bones) ROBIN Better than nothing. (ROBIN crews on the bones) PAT That smelled really good. Can I roll again? MASTER No! Only the strongest survive. PAT I’m not sure you’re going to survive this evening, buddy. MASTER Time for dessert. PAT Make a good roll. MASTER Cast your die! ROBIN Lookie there. I got a 20! MASTER You will receive the most decadent of desserts. PAT It’s about time! Bring it on! (SERVERS bring out two covered dishes) MASTER Chilled Goblin Brains. PAT It looks like real brains. ROBIN I lost my appetite. PAT Can I trade for some of that roast beast? MASTER No trading! SERVANT Could be worse. If you rolled a 1 you would get yellow snow. PAT I really want that roast beast. MASTER You will now roll and see where you will sleep tonight… the tower! Or the royal suite! Or the dungeon! ROBIN Can we each roll and get our own rooms? That will increase our chances of getting something good. PAT I’m sleeping in the car. (PAT exits) ROBIN On dear. I rolled a 1. MASTER You get the dungeon! ROBIN That’s okay. I’ll sleep in the car too. MASTER Prepare the iron maiden. ROBIN That’s not necessary. Bye bye. (ROBIN exits. MASTER watches them go and grows sad. MASTER struggles not to cry and wipes his eyes on his sleeve) MASTER No one has a good sense of adventure anymore. SERVANT May I sleep in the iron maiden, Master? MASTER Really? SERVANT Yes, Master. I’d like that. MASTER You’re a good friend. To the dungeon! (They exit happily) END OF SCENE From freedrama.net Buy a low cost PDF of this scene at Sellfy.com |
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