(AKA THE WEDGIE CLUB)
Full Length Play with Monologues for Teens and Young Adults
The Ghosts of
Detention (aka The Wedgie Club)
Setting: 1980's High School Detention and Drama Club
See below for Cast of Characters
THE USUAL
SUSPECTS
Some of the students from previous scenes (JIMMY, HARM,
PENNY,
BIFF and BENDER) all standing in a row like a police line up (i.e. The Usual
Suspects movie poster).
PRINCIPAL enters adjusting his pants in the rear. He throws a
detention slip at each of them as he walks by them saying:
PRINCIPAL
Detention... detention... detention... detention....
When he gets to JIMMY he gets an angry look and throws
multiple detention slips at him.
PRINCIPAL (CONT.)
Detention, detention, detention.
Principal goes out adjust his rear and HARM gives JIMMY a
little smile when he isn't looking at her.
Coaches
JIMMY, HARM, PENNY, BIFF and BENDER are all in
detention. More students can be included if desired. They can be sitting
or standing as COACH talks to them.
COACH
All right, losers. It must be your birthday because I am out
of here. Your worst nightmare will soon be a memory... You have a new detention
supervisor.
GERTRUDE (drama teacher) pokes her head in.
GERTRUDE
Introduce me like I said.
COACH
I'm not doing any of that drama crap for you. Get your
backside in here.
GERTRUDE
Salutations children!
BENDER
Ah! Not her. This is worse than coach.
COACH
I'm out of here.
GERTRUDE
Wait a minute, mister... You don't get away that
easily.
Even though this is a required timeout for all of you, I am sure some of you
must have bonded with coach... Mr. Firm but Fair.
COACH
Firm but not so fair I'd say... They lost their right to fair.
(GERTRUDE giggles)
GERTRUDE
You say the funniest things.
...what I want everyone to do is introduce yourselves and then say one nice
thing about coach...
HARM
This is worse than torture.
COACH
Any of you dare say anything nice about me then you'll get
extra detention because that means I wasn't hard enough on you. Detention
is about suffering...
GERTRUDE
It is about renewal and a second chance.
COACH
It is about discipline.
GERTRUDE
Hope.
COACH
Agony.
GERTRUDE
Change.
COACH
Yeah a change of shorts because I scared the you know what
out of you.
COACH and GERTY laugh.
GERTRUDE
You are so funny. Isn't he funny children? You
will be missed.
COACH
I doubt it. See you around, Gertrude...
(This is an optional action depending on the age and maturity
of your actors and audience: COACH gives her butt a slap as he leaves)
COACH
They're all yours!
GERTRUDe
You can call me, Gerty.
(GERTRUDE is embarrassed and does a cute little wave goodbye
and
watches him go a little too long. Students chuckle)
GERTRUDE
I have some wonderful news for all of you. Instead of your
usual detention I have an amazing growth opportunity for you. We will be
performing a play! One of the challenges with school drama is finding a
large cast for some
of the plays we would like to do. So all of you will be taking parts in
our next production. If you successfully complete the entire production,
then you get released from detention. But who knows... Some of you might
get bit by the theatre bug.
HARM
I'd rather get bit by something that would make me dead.
JIMMY
Good one, Harm.
(JIMMY laughs a little too hard at her joke. She
punches
him in the arm and he stops)
GERTRUDE
Just like a couple of my star performers... There is Penny
Hepburn of course... one of your fellow students here.
(PENNY stands and does a little bow. GERTRUDE claps
happily)
GERTRUDE (CONT.)
And last but not least, presenting our future star of stage
and screen... Brad Gable!
(BRAD comes in dramatically. PENNY and GERTRUDE clap
and
cheer. BRAD does dramatic bows and waves and blows kisses to PENNY and
GERTRUDE)
BRAD
Thank you everyone. I am here to guide you not only on
the stage but on this actor's journey to the soul. Drama is everything to
me. As an actor, I want to leave my mark. I want to make a
difference. In this school, they worship the quarterback and collect lots
of sports trophies. I want to change all that. I want to give this
school a drama trophy. I want to win best actor at the state drama
competition. I want this school to be proud of their amazing
actors. I want to stand in front of you and proudly say I am Best in Show.
BENDER
That's for sure.
(BENDER barks at him)
BRAD
Oh! A method actor.
(BRAD barks back at him)
GERTY
Oh, you dogs.
(BRAD laughs at her joke. BENDER growls)
GERTRUDE (CONT.)
This is so exciting. The play we are
going to do is a 1920's tale of murder and mystery. It was time of
flappers, prohibition and gangsters.
I thought this might be good since some of you kids in detention might be from
gangs. Do we have any real gangsters among you that could help make this
authentic for us?
(The students laugh and chuckle)
BENDER
You want us to be from one of them gangs that kills people or
just that steals stuff?
(BENDER'S question makes GERTRUDE and BRAD very
nervous.
They look at each other confused)
GERTRUDE
Uh... Well... I'm not sure ... We'll just figure that out as
we go.
HARM
So why should we do all this for you? What if we
refuse? We're in detention already. How you going to make it worse?
GERTRUDE
Some of you are the worst detention offenders but I promise
you time off for good behavior. Doing well in my production means an
early ticket out of detention.
BENDER
Is it a musical? Need any singers? I can
sing. 99 bottles of beer
on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around... 98 bottles of
beer on the wall.
BRAD
Hey, I know that one.
(BRAD starts to join BENDER but BENDER stops)
JIMMY
Are there any parts with kissing?
(JIMMY glances at HARM who isn't paying attention)
GERTRUDE
Yes, there will be some kissing.
(HARM makes a gagging motion and sound. BENDER makes
kissy sounds at PENNY)
GERTRUDE (CONT.)
Brad and I are going to step out a moment and discuss some of
the casting. Please remain in your assigned spots. We'll be close
by so no funny business.
(GERTRUDE and BRAD exit and BENDER immediately gets out of
him
chair and starts wandering the room. He stops at PENNY)
BENDER
So, it's bad Penny... always turning up. Why you in
here drama queen?
PENNY
I did nothing. I'm innocent.
BENDER
I heard you did something pretty bad. You stole
something from the principal. You broke in his office and took
something. What was it?
(Other students turn and listen)
PENNY
The crown jewels. Or the Hope diamond. I can't
remember which. I steal so much I lose track.
BENDER
I'm starting to like you drama queen.
PENNY
Too bad.
BENDER
What was it, Penny? Come on.
PENNY
It was helping out a friend. Now drop it, okay?
BIFF
Leave her alone, Bender.
(BENDER goes to BIFF)
BENDER
If it isn't our head cheerleader? Here is cheer us up
in detention? I always thought it was a little weird a guy wanted to be a
cheerleader. I mean, maybe a mascot, so you can hide your face... although our
mascot is the woodchuck, so that can't be too cool. Why you in here
cheerboy?
BIFF
I beat up somebody... punched his face in... Got tired of him
saying certain thing about me that wasn't true.
BENDER
I bet we know what he was saying, Cheerboy. We all
think it but he was the only one stupid enough to say it.
BIFF
Well, I'm not.
(BIFF slams down his fist on a desk or table. BENDER
backs off. He makes his way over to HARM. He tries to touch HARM
and she hits his hand away. JIMMY gets worried)
BENDER
What's the matter? You don't want to be my girlfriend
anymore?
HARM
I never was, loser.
BENDER
That hurts. I thought we had something.
(BENDER is about to touch her again)
HARM
Touch me again and die.
BENDER
Just one little kiss?
(JIMMY grabs BENDER)
JIMMY
Leave her alone.
(BENDER turns slowly and towers over JIMMY)
BENDER
You say something?
JIMMY
Yeah... leave her... alone.
BENDER
Make me.
(JIMMY gives BENDER a shove. BENDER laugh and goes to
attack JIMMY. JIMMY ducks and BENDER is grabbed by BIFF. BIFF, HARM
and JIMMY all grab BENDER and shove him in a closet [can be off stage].
BENDER (CONT.)
Hey, hey... what are you doing?
(They all return happily to their desks)
BENDER (CONT.)
Let me out of here.
BIFF
Nice one, Jimmy.
JIMMY
Thanks.
(HARM gives a little smile at JIMMY who is very happy she
noticed. PENNY pulls some stuff out of her backpack)
PENNY
Anyone like JOLT cola?
BIFF
Oh, yeah. That stuff makes me bounce off the walls.
PENNY
I like to add pop rocks to it.
(PENNY opens a can and pours some pop rocks in)
BIFF
Awesome.
(BIFF drinks it)
BIFF (CONT.)
Oh, yeah!
(JIMMY goes over and tries it)
JIMMY
Ha! This is too much.
(PENNY takes one over to HARM)
PENNY
Want one?
(HARM shrugs. PENNY gives her one. HARM tries it and
slaps her nose)
PENNY (CONT.)
Oh yeah... it comes out your nose sometimes.
(PENNY tries to hold in a laugh but BIFF and JIMMY can't help
but laugh)
BENDER (OFF)
What about me? I want one.
(JIMMY gets an unopened can and shakes it. They
laugh. JIMMY goes and tosses it quickly in the closet)
JIMMY
There you go.
BENDER
Thanks, man.
(He opens it and they hear it explode. They laugh)
BENDER (CONT.)
Not funny.
(NOTE: Optional scene - They put on some music and do a dance
together)
END OF SCENE
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Small cast size (speaking roles): 5 male, 6 female - 11 total
Large cast size (speaking roles): 26 total
****
Setting is a 1980's High School
****
Detention Cast
JIMMY (also plays AL CAPONE)
HARM (also plays FLO)
PENNY (also plays REMMY)
BIFF (also plays JAQUE)
BENDER (also plays CAL CAPONE)
TINY (can play other characters later or can be doubled with
JIMMY if cast is limited)
PRINCIPAL
COACH (can be doubled with PRINCIPAL if cast is limited)
GERTY/GERTRUDE
MADELINE (also plays MAYA)
JASMINE (also plays SADIE the ghost)
BRITNEY (also plays VERA)
****
Setting in the past: Roaring 1920's
****
Bonnie and Clyde Cast
Detective 1 - PETE played by BRAD
Detective 2 - played by JIMMY or another actor
HENRY - played by BIFF or another actor
MAYA - played by MADELINE
****
Ghost Hunters of Route 666 Cast
REMMY played by PENNY
PETE is played by BRAD
HARM plays FLO
JAQUE/JAQUE played by BIFF
MAYA is plays by MADELINE
****
Seeing Beyond with Maya Fantasma
MAYA (played by MADELINE): The MAYA who can talk to the dead.
SADIE (played by JASMINE): The dead person who needs to find
her killer.
JAQUE (played by BIFF): Boyfriend of Vera
VERA (played by BRITNEY): The person SADIE wants to warn
JAQUE about.
ANNOUNCER (can be prerecorded) - played by PETE or JIMMY or another actor
****
Hysterical History of Great Depression
PETE played by BRAD
BAILIFF played by a new actor ideally but can also be played
by BENDER or BIFF
AL CAPONE played by JIMMY
MADELINE, HARM, BIFF, BENDER and JASMINE can be crowd if
other actors are not
available - *Woman 1 and 2 - women in the crowd of the court, *Man 1 and 2 -
men in the crowd of the court, Child - male or female - kid who got a bicycle
from Capone
VERA (played by BRITNEY)
TRANSCRIPTIONIST (could double with VERA if actors are limited?)
RUTHERFORD - played by new actor ideally or by BENDER or BIFF
*These parts can be combined to one actor. Additional actors may be in
the crowd.
****
Creepy Corpse Cast of Characters
REMMY played by PENNY
PETE/PRIEST played by BRAD
FLO played by HARM
JAQUE played by BIFF
MAYA played by MADELINE
SADIE played by JASMINE
**SAM and SALLY: Other patrons in optional scene (new actor)
SIMON: Confused customer (played by new actor or JIMMY)
KID: Another confused customer (can be same KID as Hysterical
History scene)
**COP - new actor in optional scene
CAL CAPONE - played by BENDER
**DRUNK - new actor in optional scene
Free MONOLOGUES for 1 Actor
Free Monologues for one TEEN Actor
Free SHORT Stage Play Scripts and SKITS
Free FUNNY Short Stage Play Scripts and COMEDY Skits
Funny Comedy Monologues
Free DUOLOGUES for 2 Actors
Free Monologues for KIDS
Short Plays for CHILDREN
Small cast plays for CHILDREN