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THE GHOSTS OF DETENTION

(AKA THE WEDGIE CLUB)

Full Length Play with Monologues for Teens and Young Adults

by D. M. Larson

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The Ghosts of Detention (aka The Wedgie Club)

Setting: 1980's High School Detention and Drama Club

See below for Cast of Characters

free full length play for teen teenagers high school with monologues


THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Some of the students from previous scenes (JIMMY, HARM, PENNY, BIFF and BENDER) all standing in a row like a police line up (i.e. The Usual Suspects movie poster).

PRINCIPAL enters adjusting his pants in the rear. He throws a detention slip at each of them as he walks by them saying:

PRINCIPAL

Detention... detention... detention... detention....

When he gets to JIMMY he gets an angry look and throws multiple detention slips at him.

PRINCIPAL (CONT.)

Detention, detention, detention.

Principal goes out adjust his rear and HARM gives JIMMY a little smile when he isn't looking at her.

Coaches

JIMMY, HARM, PENNY, BIFF and BENDER are all in detention.  More students can be included if desired. They can be sitting or standing as COACH talks to them.

COACH

All right, losers. It must be your birthday because I am out of here. Your worst nightmare will soon be a memory... You have a new detention supervisor.

GERTRUDE (drama teacher) pokes her head in.

GERTRUDE

Introduce me like I said.

COACH

I'm not doing any of that drama crap for you.  Get your backside in here.

GERTRUDE

Salutations children!

BENDER

Ah! Not her. This is worse than coach.

COACH

I'm out of here.

GERTRUDE

Wait a minute, mister... You don't get away that easily.  Even though this is a required timeout for all of you, I am sure some of you must have bonded with coach... Mr. Firm but Fair.

COACH

Firm but not so fair I'd say... They lost their right to fair.

(GERTRUDE giggles)

GERTRUDE

You say the funniest things.
...what I want everyone to do is introduce yourselves and then say one nice thing about coach...

HARM

This is worse than torture.

COACH

Any of you dare say anything nice about me then you'll get extra detention because that means I wasn't hard enough on you.  Detention is about suffering...

GERTRUDE

It is about renewal and a second chance.

COACH

It is about discipline.

GERTRUDE

Hope.

COACH

Agony.

GERTRUDE

Change.

COACH

Yeah a change of shorts because I scared the you know what out of you.

COACH and GERTY laugh.

GERTRUDE

You are so funny.  Isn't he funny children?  You will be missed.

COACH

I doubt it.  See you around, Gertrude...

(This is an optional action depending on the age and maturity of your actors and audience: COACH gives her butt a slap as he leaves)

COACH

They're all yours!

GERTRUDe

You can call me, Gerty.

(GERTRUDE is embarrassed and does a cute little wave goodbye and watches him go a little too long.  Students chuckle)

GERTRUDE

I have some wonderful news for all of you. Instead of your usual detention I have an amazing growth opportunity for you. We will be performing a play!  One of the challenges with school drama is finding a large cast for some of the plays we would like to do.  So all of you will be taking parts in our next production.  If you successfully complete the entire production, then you get released from detention.  But who knows... Some of you might get bit by the theatre bug.

HARM

I'd rather get bit by something that would make me dead.

JIMMY

Good one, Harm.

(JIMMY laughs a little too hard at her joke.  She punches him in the arm and he stops)

GERTRUDE

Just like a couple of my star performers... There is Penny Hepburn of course... one of your fellow students here.

(PENNY stands and does a little bow.  GERTRUDE claps happily)

GERTRUDE (CONT.)

And last but not least, presenting our future star of stage and screen... Brad Gable!

(BRAD comes in dramatically.  PENNY and GERTRUDE clap and cheer.  BRAD does dramatic bows and waves and blows kisses to PENNY and GERTRUDE)

BRAD

Thank you everyone.  I am here to guide you not only on the stage but on this actor's journey to the soul.  Drama is everything to me.  As an actor, I want to leave my mark.  I want to make a difference.  In this school, they worship the quarterback and collect lots of sports trophies.  I want to change all that.  I want to give this school a drama trophy.  I want to win best actor at the state drama competition.  I want this school to be proud of their amazing actors.  I want to stand in front of you and proudly say I am Best in Show.

BENDER

That's for sure.

(BENDER barks at him)

BRAD

Oh! A method actor.

(BRAD barks back at him)

GERTY

Oh, you dogs.

(BRAD laughs at her joke. BENDER growls)

GERTRUDE (CONT.)

This is so exciting.  The play we are going to do is a 1920's tale of murder and mystery.  It was time of flappers, prohibition and gangsters.  I thought this might be good since some of you kids in detention might be from gangs.  Do we have any real gangsters among you that could help make this authentic for us?

(The students laugh and chuckle)

BENDER

You want us to be from one of them gangs that kills people or just that steals stuff?

(BENDER'S question makes GERTRUDE and BRAD very nervous.  They look at each other confused)

GERTRUDE

Uh... Well... I'm not sure ... We'll just figure that out as we go.

HARM

So why should we do all this for you?  What if we refuse?  We're in detention already.  How you going to make it worse?

GERTRUDE

Some of you are the worst detention offenders but I promise you time off for good behavior.  Doing well in my production means an early ticket out of detention.

BENDER

Is it a musical?  Need any singers?  I can sing.  99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around... 98 bottles of beer on the wall.

BRAD

Hey, I know that one.

(BRAD starts to join BENDER but BENDER stops)

JIMMY

Are there any parts with kissing?

(JIMMY glances at HARM who isn't paying attention)

GERTRUDE

Yes, there will be some kissing.

(HARM makes a gagging motion and sound.  BENDER makes kissy sounds at PENNY)

GERTRUDE (CONT.)

Brad and I are going to step out a moment and discuss some of the casting.  Please remain in your assigned spots.  We'll be close by so no funny business.

(GERTRUDE and BRAD exit and BENDER immediately gets out of him chair and starts wandering the room.  He stops at PENNY)

BENDER

So, it's bad Penny... always turning up.  Why you in here drama queen?

PENNY

I did nothing.  I'm innocent.

BENDER

I heard you did something pretty bad.  You stole something from the principal.  You broke in his office and took something.  What was it?

(Other students turn and listen)

PENNY

The crown jewels.  Or the Hope diamond.  I can't remember which.  I steal so much I lose track.

BENDER

I'm starting to like you drama queen.

PENNY

Too bad.

BENDER

What was it, Penny?  Come on.

PENNY

It was helping out a friend.  Now drop it, okay?

BIFF

Leave her alone, Bender.

(BENDER goes to BIFF)

BENDER

If it isn't our head cheerleader?  Here is cheer us up in detention?  I always thought it was a little weird a guy wanted to be a cheerleader. I mean, maybe a mascot, so you can hide your face... although our mascot is the woodchuck, so that can't be too cool.  Why you in here cheerboy?

BIFF

I beat up somebody... punched his face in... Got tired of him saying certain thing about me that wasn't true. 

BENDER

I bet we know what he was saying, Cheerboy.  We all think it but he was the only one stupid enough to say it.

BIFF

Well, I'm not. 

(BIFF slams down his fist on a desk or table.  BENDER backs off.  He makes his way over to HARM.  He tries to touch HARM and she hits his hand away. JIMMY gets worried)

BENDER

What's the matter?  You don't want to be my girlfriend anymore?

HARM

I never was, loser.

BENDER

That hurts.  I thought we had something.

(BENDER is about to touch her again)

HARM

Touch me again and die.

BENDER

Just one little kiss?

(JIMMY grabs BENDER)

JIMMY

Leave her alone.

(BENDER turns slowly and towers over JIMMY)

BENDER

You say something?

JIMMY

Yeah... leave her... alone.

BENDER

Make me.

(JIMMY gives BENDER a shove.  BENDER laugh and goes to attack JIMMY.  JIMMY ducks and BENDER is grabbed by BIFF.  BIFF, HARM and JIMMY all grab BENDER and shove him in a closet [can be off stage].

BENDER (CONT.)

Hey, hey... what are you doing?

(They all return happily to their desks)

BENDER (CONT.)

Let me out of here.

BIFF

Nice one, Jimmy.

JIMMY

Thanks.

(HARM gives a little smile at JIMMY who is very happy she noticed. PENNY pulls some stuff out of her backpack)

PENNY

Anyone like JOLT cola?

BIFF

Oh, yeah.  That stuff makes me bounce off the walls.

PENNY

I like to add pop rocks to it.

(PENNY opens a can and pours some pop rocks in)

BIFF

Awesome.

(BIFF drinks it)

BIFF (CONT.)

Oh, yeah!

(JIMMY goes over and tries it)

JIMMY

Ha!  This is too much.

(PENNY takes one over to HARM)

PENNY

Want one?

(HARM shrugs.  PENNY gives her one. HARM tries it and slaps her nose)

PENNY (CONT.)

Oh yeah... it comes out your nose sometimes.

(PENNY tries to hold in a laugh but BIFF and JIMMY can't help but laugh)

BENDER (OFF)

What about me?  I want one.

(JIMMY gets an unopened can and shakes it.  They laugh.  JIMMY goes and tosses it quickly in the closet)

JIMMY

There you go.

BENDER

Thanks, man.

(He opens it and they hear it explode.  They laugh)

BENDER (CONT.)

Not funny.

(NOTE: Optional scene - They put on some music and do a dance together)

END OF SCENE


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CAST OF CHARACTERS

Small cast size (speaking roles): 5 male, 6 female - 11 total

Large cast size (speaking roles): 26 total

****

Setting is a 1980's High School

****

Detention Cast

JIMMY (also plays AL CAPONE)

HARM (also plays FLO)

PENNY (also plays REMMY)

BIFF (also plays JAQUE)

BENDER (also plays CAL CAPONE)

TINY (can play other characters later or can be doubled with JIMMY if cast is limited)

PRINCIPAL

COACH (can be doubled with PRINCIPAL if cast is limited)

GERTY/GERTRUDE

MADELINE (also plays MAYA)

JASMINE (also plays SADIE the ghost)

BRITNEY (also plays VERA)

****

Setting in the past: Roaring 1920's

****

Bonnie and Clyde Cast

Detective 1 - PETE played by BRAD

Detective 2 - played by JIMMY or another actor

HENRY - played by BIFF or another actor

MAYA - played by MADELINE

****

Ghost Hunters of Route 666 Cast

REMMY played by PENNY

PETE is played by BRAD

HARM plays FLO

JAQUE/JAQUE played by BIFF

MAYA is plays by MADELINE

****

Seeing Beyond with Maya Fantasma

MAYA (played by MADELINE): The MAYA who can talk to the dead.

SADIE (played by JASMINE): The dead person who needs to find her killer.

JAQUE (played by BIFF): Boyfriend of Vera

VERA (played by BRITNEY): The person SADIE wants to warn JAQUE about.
 
ANNOUNCER (can be prerecorded) - played by PETE or JIMMY or another actor
 
****

Hysterical History of Great Depression

PETE played by BRAD

BAILIFF played by a new actor ideally but can also be played by BENDER or BIFF

AL CAPONE played by JIMMY

MADELINE, HARM, BIFF, BENDER and JASMINE can be crowd if other actors are not available - *Woman 1 and 2 - women in the crowd of the court, *Man 1 and 2 - men in the crowd of the court, Child - male or female - kid who got a bicycle from Capone

VERA (played by BRITNEY)

TRANSCRIPTIONIST (could double with VERA if actors are limited?)

RUTHERFORD - played by new actor ideally or by BENDER or BIFF


*These parts can be combined to one actor.  Additional actors may be in the crowd.

****

Creepy Corpse Cast of Characters

REMMY played by PENNY

PETE/PRIEST played by BRAD

FLO played by HARM

JAQUE played by BIFF

MAYA played by MADELINE

SADIE played by JASMINE

**SAM and SALLY: Other patrons in optional scene (new actor)

SIMON: Confused customer (played by new actor or JIMMY)

KID: Another confused customer (can be same KID as Hysterical History scene)

**COP - new actor in optional scene

CAL CAPONE - played by BENDER

**DRUNK - new actor in optional scene



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