(Janey’s face and hands are wrapped up in bandages)
This is me, the mummy girl. Mummy dearest. I want my mummy! I just had to get those jokes out of the way for you.
So… I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to me. I'm telling everyone I got plastic surgery - but not to make myself more beautiful - I'm removing my nose cause everyone here stinks! I hate it here.
I have a pretty good reason for my bad attitude too. The kids here think they are so funny that they thought they'd push me face first through some glass. They wanted me to get a good look at their trophies in the big trophy case outside the principal’s office. They think I'm jealous because I was staring at their trophies. They thought I was wishing I got a touchback or home down or whatever they call them. Or maybe they thought I wanted to be some bubble-headed cheer girl wanting to score with the guys. Oh, come on. Why else do they wear those short skirts?
Actually I was standing there and wondering why there can't be drama trophies - or charity trophies like best server in the soup kitchen. But no, the awards go to all the tight pants and short skirts. Bravo society! Bravo! Way to glorify the important things in life.
Beautiful people stink. That's why I want my nose removed. Their souls are rotten and I am tired of smelling their stench.
END OF MONOLOGUE
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