Peggy the Pint Sized Pirate
A Children's Play
(15 minute version - 7
characters plus optional extras)
D. M. Larson
Copyright
(c) 2003
All Rights Reserved
Cast of Characters
PEGGY
SCUMMY - young pirate who says mean things to PEGGY
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
CAPTAIN SOGGY
GRUNT - wise old pirate who speaks mysteriously
SEA MONSTER
MOM MONSTER
EXTRAS - Other pirates
Scene 1 - A pirate's cove for games and grub
Scene 2 - An island where the Sea Monster lurks
SCENE 1
(PEGGY is a very small pirate girl who is anxious to be a big pirate. PEGGY enters pirate's cove and sees Pirates playing various games and enjoying grub. Everyone is much bigger than she is and she looks out of place)
PEGGY
(To audience)
Hi, I'm Peggy. Peggy the... Well, I don't have a true pirate name yet.
SCUMMY
(To PEGGY)
Sure you do. It's Peggy the Pint Sized Pirate.
(Others laugh and then go back to their games)
PEGGY
Yes, that's what they call me. Peggy the Pint Sized Pirate. But I'm tired of it. I won't stand for it anymore.
SCUMMY
Won't stand for it? I thought you were sitting down.
PEGGY
I'm so tired of short jokes. Anyway, Today is my big day. I finally was going to be a pirate. I've dreamed about this day since I was little.
(SCUMMY looks at her)
Well, I'm still little... and I'm still dreaming. But finally the day has come. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a pirate.
(SCUMMY laughs at her and then points to CAPTAINS who enter)
SCUMMY
Line em up!
(Pirates line up. PEGGY gets stuck behind the other pirates and hops around trying to see. She slips in between two of them)
CAPTAIN SOGGY
We need two crews for a treasure run to
PEGGY
Tuscon?
(PEGGY gets pushed back and hops around behind)
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
I get first pick. I'll take Bob the Brave
(BOB happily lines up behind SLUDGE)
CAPTAIN SOGGY
I'll take Sue the Smelly.
(Everyone steps back so SUE can move over by SOGGY who notices her odor. SLUDGE and SOGGY continue picking pirates during the following:)
PEGGY
I was so excited. This was the first time I tried out for a pirate crew. Captain Sludge had the fastest pirate around. Everyone was anxious to be with Sludge when the sea speed record of 1812 was broken. And then Captain Soggy was great too. Soggy had the only pirate ship that would go underwater. Really! But after more and more pirates were picked, I got worried because no one was picking me.
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
And I'll take Scummy the Sweet.
(SCUMMY sticks tongue out at PEGGY and lines up with others)
That's it then.
(Pirates all start to talk and go with CAPTAINS)
PEGGY
Wait! What about me?!
(Everyone stops and stares at PEGGY. Then they laugh)
SCUMMY
No way, shrimp.
CAPTAIN SOGGY
(Pats PEGGY on head)
Maybe when you're bigger.
SCUMMY
Right, that will happen.
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
Better stay here and let the big brave pirates go. We don't want you to get hurt.
CAPTAIN SOGGY
We can't handle screaming little girls on ships with sea monster afoot.
(Pirates leave and PEGGY sits by herself all upset)
PEGGY
Now I'll never be a pirate.
(PEGGY cries)
GRUNT
(Old GRUNT enters)
What's this boo-hooing I hear?
PEGGY
No one wants me to be a pirate. They think I'm too little.
GRUNT
Do they now?
PEGGY
Everyone laughed at me and said I'd be scared. I'm not scared of anything. And I wouldn't cry...
(Wipes away tears)
I'm not afraid of any sea monsters.
(Cries again)
Who am I kidding? I am too little.
GRUNT
You're not little at all you know.
PEGGY
What? Can't you see me? I'm tiny.
GRUNT
There's something I can see that's bigger than any pirate I know. Something that you'll have to see on your own.
PEGGY
I don't get it. What do you mean?
GRUNT
Give it time, Peggy and you'll see.
PEGGY
(Throwing a fit)
But I wanna be big now!!!!!!
(Jumps around and screams)
GRUNT
(Waits for PEGGY to stop)
Feel better?
PEGGY
(Calm)
Actually, yes. Thank you.
GRUNT
Very soon you'll get your chance to see what you have that is greater than most.
PEGGY
Well, I'm not moving from this spot until I find out.
GRUNT
Stubborn aren't we?
PEGGY
Peggy the Stubborn. Naw, doesn't sound right.
GRUNT
Patience Peggy. Your moment will come.
(GRUNT leaves)
PEGGY
Old people saw the weirdest things. Me being big? Now? But how? So I stayed here and waited for an answer. And it didn't take long.
SCUMMY
(Runs in)
Ahh! The horror! The horror!
PEGGY
What is it, Scummy?
SCUMMY
Both ships are gone. Destroyed.
PEGGY
But how?
SCUMMY
The sea monster!
PEGGY
Really? And the pirates couldn't stop them.
SCUMMY
They tried but the monster is too powerful. Both ships are gone forever.
PEGGY
How did you survive?
SCUMMY
I hid in a barrel when I saw the monster coming.
PEGGY
You hid? That's not very piratey.
SCUMMY
Please don't tell.
(SCUMMY runs and hides)
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
(Enters with CAPTAIN SOGGY)
I can't believe our ships are gone.
CAPTAIN SOGGY
And the entire crew was captured.
PEGGY
What are you going to do?
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
What can we do?
CAPTAIN SOGGY
Maybe I'll open up a little sea side resort.
PEGGY
You can't give up. What about your crew? You must save them.
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
Sorry, but I'm not going out there again. Not with that monster out there.
CAPTAIN SOGGY
And I could serve soda pop and soup with little tiny umbrellas in them.
PEGGY
So you're both a couple of chickens.
(Both CAPTAINS stop and stare at her)
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
What did you say?
PEGGY
Chickens.
(Acts like a chicken)
Brock, brock, brock.
CAPTAIN SOGGY
I could put chicken between two slices of bread. Someone showed me that on the
(CAPTAIN SOGGY exits)
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
Fine. You think you're so brave. Then you be captain and take care of that sea monster yourself.
(Sticks huge captain hat on PEGGY and it covers her head)
Best of luck to you, Captain.
(Laughs and exits)
PEGGY
(Pulls off hat)
Captain? Was he serious? Even if he wasn't, it doesn't matter. Someone has to save those pirates.
(Grabs SCUMMY out of hiding)
Come on, Scummy. We're going to save some pirates.
SCENE 2
(Lights come up on an island where the sea monster lives. PEGGY and SCUMMY enter. SCUMMY is terrified)
PEGGY
I took a little boat with only Scummy to help row. We followed the trail of wrecked ships until we made our way to this little island that must be the sea monsters lair.
SCUMMY
I don't think this is a good idea, Peggy.
PEGGY
Yes, you said that about a hundred times on the way over. But someone has to save these pirates.
SCUMMY
And what makes you think we can do it?
PEGGY
Because I can do anything I put my mind to.
(Roaring sound off stage. SEA MONSTER uses microphone for big sound)
SCUMMY
What's that?
PEGGY
I don't know.
(Roaring sound again)
SCUMMY
There is was again.
(Roaring)
Let's get out of here.
PEGGY
But I don't see anything.
SCUMMY
(A huge shadow appears behind them. Shadow is cast using a cut out behind a light or by the SEA MONSTER standing being a spotlight. SCUMMY sees it)
Ahh! Run!
(SCUMMY runs)
PEGGY
Scummy! Get back here.
(PEGGY stands ready and faces the shadow)
I guess it's up to me.
(Bravely calls out)
Show yourself sea monster. I'm ready for you!
SEA MONSTER
(Roars. Off)
You better run little pirate before I eat you.
PEGGY
No, you better run before I eat you.
SEA MONSTER
(Off)
What? You can't eat me.
PEGGY
I can eat anything I want.
SEA MONSTER
(Enters. SEA MONSTER is not much bigger than PEGGY. SEA MONSTER can be in a costume with one or two actors inside. If two actors are in costume, one is the head and the other works the hind end and tail)
Why aren't you scared?
PEGGY
Hey! You're just a little guy.
SEA MONSTER
Usually the shadow scares most of them away.
PEGGY
How did you do that?
SEA MONSTER
Ancient sea monster secret.
PEGGY
Come on, you can tell me.
SEA
MONSTER
You're a pirate.
I can't tell you.
PEGGY
(Proud)
Hey, no body has ever called me a pirate before.
SEA MONSTER
That wasn't a compliment.
PEGGY
So what's the deal? How can a little monster like you defeat all those pirates?
SEA MONSTER
Oh, that isn't me. That's my mama. She's the one who destroys all those ships.
PEGGY
And she captured all those pirates?
SEA MONSTER
Yes.
PEGGY
Then I need to talk to her.
SEA MONSTER
You can't do that.
PEGGY
Why not?
SEA MONSTER
She won't talk to you. She'll just capture you and torture you like the others.
PEGGY
Torture?! That's terrible.
SEA MONSTER
They are getting what they deserve.
PEGGY
I won't hear of it. Take me to them or else.
SEA MONSTER
Or else what?
PEGGY
I... I...
SEA MONSTER
You... you... what?
PEGGY
I won't tell you my secret.
SEA MONSTER
Secret? What secret?
PEGGY
(To audience)
Sea monsters can't resist a good secret.
(To SEA MONSTER)
I'll tell you if you take me to your mama.
SEA MONSTER
Give me a hint!
PEGGY
Nope. Not until I see your mama.
SEA MONSTER
Not one little hint?
PEGGY
Sorry.
SEA MONSTER
Fine. I'll take you to Mama. She'll just capture though. She won't tell you anything. Follow me.
SCUMMY
(Sneaks up on them and stabs SEA MONSTER in the foot with a stick)
Ha! I got you.
SEA MONSTER
Ow!
(Hops around in pain)
PEGGY
Scummy! What have you done?
SCUMMY
I've defeated the sea monster!
PEGGY
But if you hurt the sea monster, we won't know where the pirates were taken.
SCUMMY
Oh.
SEA MONSTER
Who poked me? That hurts!
SCUMMY
(Points to PEGGY)
She did it.
(SCUMMY runs)
SEA MONSTER
Come back here. I know a little liar when I see one.
(Takes a step and howls in pain)
PEGGY
Here, let me help you.
SEA MONSTER
Why would you want to do that?
PEGGY
Well... I do want you to show me where the pirates are... but...
SEA MONSTER
But what?
PEGGY
I kind of like you too.
SEA MONSTER
You do?
PEGGY
I know pirates aren't supposed to like sea monsters, but I do kind of like you.
SEA MONSTER
And why is that?
PEGGY
Because you're little and you're so big all at the same time. I wish I could be as brave and strong as you.
SEA MONSTER
I don't feel so brave and strong with this stick in my foot.
(Howls in pain)
PEGGY
Here, let me help with that.
SEA MONSTER
(Moves away)
No.
PEGGY
Come on.
SEA MONSTER
No, it's gonna hurt.
PEGGY
Don't be a baby. Let me get it.
SEA MONSTER
Fine, but I can't look.
PEGGY
On the count of three I'll pull it out. Ready?
SEA MONSTER
Ready.
PEGGY
One, two...
(Pulls out stick)
SEA MONSTER
...where's three.
(Looks)
PEGGY
Stick's out. See, it wasn't that bad was it.
SEA MONSTER
(Looks at stick then howls)
Ow!
PEGGY
What? What?
SEA MONSTER
Now it hurts. Delayed reaction.
PEGGY
Don't be silly. It's all in your head.
SEA MONSTER
You think so?
PEGGY
I know so.
SEA MONSTER
I guess it's not that bad.
PEGGY
Good. Now take me to your mama.
SEA MONSTER
Uh, Peggy.
(Huge shadow looms up behind PEGGY. MAMA MONSTER can remain a shadow unless a production budget allows for a large monster head to appear on stage but this is unnecessary. A shadow cast by a cutout in a light will work with the voice of MAMA MONSTER on microphone)
PEGGY
Yes?
SEA MONSTER
She's here.
MAMA MONSTER
Hello, baby. Did you capture another pirate?
SEA MONSTER
Well, not really. This is Peggy. She wants to talk to you.
MAMA MONSTER
Talk to me? Why?
PEGGY
I want you to release all those pirates you captured.
MAMA MONSTER
Why?
PEGGY
Because what did they do to you?
MAMA MONSTER
They have made a garbage dump of the sea.
PEGGY
You're mad at them because they litter.
SEA MONSTER
Pirates make a lot of trash.
PEGGY
But you're polluting the sea with broken pirate ships.
MAMA MONSTER
Good point. You're a smart little one.
PEGGY
I guess I make up for size with brains. That must be what that old coot meant. My brains! They must be bigger than any pirates.
SEA MONSTER
That's not saying much. I think my ear wax is smarter than most pirates.
PEGGY
So what did you do with the pirates?
MAMA MONSTER
We're making them pick up all the litter they've made.
SEA MONSTER
And that could take a long time. They've littered a lot.
PEGGY
I promise that they will never litter again if you let them go.
MAMA MONSTER
Can I trust you? You're a pirate.
SEA MONSTER
She's not like other pirates, Mama. She helped me when I was hurt. She is also my friend.
PEGGY
Really?
SEA MONSTER
Really, really.
MAMA MONSTER
Pirates!
(PIRATES rush out and crowd together shaking in fear)
I'll let them go, but I don't want to see any more litter.
(PIRATES shake head no)
Good-bye Peggy Pirate. I wish all pirates were like you.
(Shadows fades)
SEA MONSTER
Good-bye, Peggy.
PEGGY
Will I see you again?
SEA MONSTER
You bet.
(SCUMMY slinks in cautiously. CAPTAIN SLUDGE and CAPTAIN SOGGY follow. CAPTAINS happily greet PIRATES)
Just don't bring that thing with you.
(SEA MONSTER exits)
SCUMMY
(Sees PIRATES)
What happened?
PEGGY
They set the pirates free.
SCUMMY
You saved them.
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
I never thought such a little pirate could do such a big thing.
CAPTAIN SOGGY
How would you like to be my first mate?
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
Three cheers for Peggy.
PIRATES
Hip-hip-hurray! Hip-hip-hurray! Hip-hip-hurray!
PEGGY
Thank you all of you. But this means no more litter.
(PIRATES nods in agreement)
CAPTAIN SLUDGE
Let's go, you scurvy dogs.
(PEGGY watches PIRATES go with CAPTAINS. CAPTAIN SOGGY tosses some litter in front of her. PEGGY's jaw drop when she sees the spot where they were standing. It's full of litter)
PEGGY
I see my work is cut out for me.
END OF PLAY
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