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Funny 1 Minute
(or less)
Monologues

by D. M. Larson

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Short Comedy Monologues (1 minute or less)


Featured Monologue
"BLOOD TYPE"
From the play "Make Me a Vampire" by D. M. Larson

(LUCIEN is a snooty vampire who can't stand people with certain blood types)

LUCIEN

He’s smelling up the entire lobby. Sorry, we don’t deal with your kind. No one does. No one here will be willing to touch someone with your blood type. “B” I assume, by the stench. “B” negative? That’s even worse. “O” is a delicacy that vampires crave the most. “A” is good. A fine blood type we all can enjoy. “AB” is tolerable. It’s mixed with B but A is strong enough to make it drinkable. But “B” - it is the absolute worst. “B” positive is bad enough. It smells like a skunk peeling onions at a sewage processing plant. But “B” negative… It’s a rare and horrific smell… I can’t even imagine what the taste must be. Simply horrendous, I’m sure.

END OF MONOLOGUE

For permission to use this monologue, email doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Blood Type" in the email).

"Kill First, Gloat Later" - Comedic Monologue - Male or Female - from “Between Good and Evil” ISBN-13: 978-1502982308


More Monologues Below




"Flowers from Phil" - Short Comedic Monologue from Published Script- Male (1 minute) from "3 Short Comedy Scripts" ISBN-13: 978-1546726845


"The Girl Who Broke His Fingers" - Monologue - Female (1 minute) from the play “The Ghosts of Detention” ISBN-13: 978-1499111309


"Beauty and Perfection" - Short Monologue from a play - Female (1 minute) from "Flowers in the Desert" ISBN-13: 978-1530169085


"Perfectly Ugly" Monologue from a published play - Female (1+ minute) from “Holka Polka” ISBN-13: 978-1502445490


"Cassandra" - Short Comedic Monologue from Published Script- Female (1 minute) from "The Hysterical History of the Trojan War" ISBN-13: 978-1452871448



"I Need Detention" - Comedy Monologue- Male (1 minute) from the play “The Ghosts of Detention” ISBN-13: 978-1499111309




"A Thing for Nerds" - Comedy Monologue - Female (1 minute) from "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155


"Humpty Dumpty Private Egg Hard Boiled Detective" - Comedy Monologue - Male (1 minute) from “Holka Polka” ISBN-13: 978-1502445490


"The Big Bad Wolf" - Comedy monologue - Male or Female (1 minute) from “Holka Polka” ISBN-13: 978-1502445490



"Catchick" - Short Comedic Monologue from the play "Superhero Support Group" ISBN-13: 978-1540471772 - Female (30 seconds to 1 minute)


"Melinda Street" - Comedic Monologue from the play "Somebody Famous" - Female (30 seconds to 1 minute) - link goes to Freedrama blog



"How to be a Pirate" or "An Orchestra of Stink" - Funny monologue for female - comedy solo stage script from the play "The Princess and the Pirate" ISBN-13: 978-1515169765

"Growing Up is Hard to Do" - Short Comedic Monologue from the play "Between Good and Evil" ISBN-13: 978-1502982308 - Male (1 minute)

"Die and Leave Thee" - Comedy (over-dramatic) Monologue - Male (1 minute) from “Big Nose” ISBN-13: 978-1542471077

"Goodbye Cruel World" Comedy (over-dramatic) monologue - Male or Female (1 minute)

"Don't Pity the Blind Girl" humorous love poem from the play "Losers in Love" by D. M. Larson ISBN: 9781549653186

"Cowbell" - Comedy Monologue- Male or Female (1 minute) from “Music Maybe” ISBN-13: 978-1519120106

"Foot Rubs" - Monologue - Male (1 minute)



"I Hate Buffets" - Comedy monologue - Female (1+ minutes) from “When Mel Fell for Nell“ ISBN-13: 978-1512007183

"Ode to the Squished" Short dramedy (over-dramatic comedy) monologue - Male or Female (30 seconds) from “Bullied, Bungled and Botched” ISBN-13: 978-1518661082

"Fanny" Comedy monologue from a published play “The Weird, Wild and Wonderful Days of School” ISBN-13: 978-1482739626 - Female (1 minute)

"Alien Goo" - Comedic Monologue from Published Script- Male (1 minute) from “Between Good and Evil” ISBN-13: 978-1502982308

"Little Pirate" - Monologue for Kids - Female (1 minute) from “The Pint Sized Pirate” ISBN-13: 978-1511496377

"Ugly Mug" short monologue from the scene "Blinded by the Knight" - (30 seconds) -from “Between Good and Evil” ISBN-13: 978-1502982308

"Farting is Such Sweet Sorrow" - Male short comedy monologue from the play "Flowers in the Desert" ISBN-13: 978-1530169085

"A Golden Tooth" short monologue for male from the play "The Princess and the Pirate" ISBN-13: 978-1515169765

"Take It Easy" short monologue for male about a nervous guy and his not so helpful friend

"Girls of America, Beware!" short monologue from the scene “Dotty’s New Show”



See below for links to more plays, recommended published plays, copyright and royalty information and more!


Free Stage Play Scripts at Freedrama.net


Freedrama offers free stage play scripts, monologues and theatre games at no cost to actors, directors, teachers and students for the classroom or acting performances. Find tons of resources for teaching and learning acting, speech and communication skills.

Important Copyright Notice


These scripts may be used for FREE but PLEASE do NOT repost the TEXT of any script online in any way. Students, actors, teachers and student may use the scripts for acting or classroom activities and even videos, but do NOT repost them on the internet. Please link to the scripts on the website. We love that! But these scripts are published and protected by copyright (c) 2001-2017 so do not upload the entire text of a script. Performing the scripts for an audience or on a video is totally okay. Just be sure to credit the author and our website (Freedrama.net). Thank you!




EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO AUTHOR D. M. LARSON AT doug@freedrama.net OR TALK ON TWITTER @freedrama!



Copyright (c) 2001-2017 All Rights Reserved

*Freedrama scripts by D. M. and Shiela Larson are FREE to use in a classroom, audition, competition, or workshop.  

All mentions of the script should include the author (D. M. Larson) and the source (Freedrama.net).

In return for using the script royalty free, we would be most thankful if you completed 1 or more of the following: http://www.freedrama.net/nocost.html (subscribe and share freedrama.net on social media or share a printed poster).


IMPORTANT: The text of this script is copyright protected material. You are NOT allowed to repost the text of the script online for any reason (even educational). You may create a link to the script on Freedrama.net, but do not republish or redistribute the text of the script in any way online.


MAKING A VIDEO?
If the play is recorded as a video and posted on the internet in any way, please begin the online description of the video with "From a Freedrama.net free stage play script." Here are additional rules for using scripts for videos: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/07/would-you-like-to-use-free-script-for.html


CHARGING ADMISSION? ARE YOU PLACING ADS ON YOUR VIDEO?
OPTION 1: If you produce the script for profit, you can still use the play for free if you agree to add a link to freedrama.net on your website (please share the webpage where you added the link).  OPTION 2: Or you can purchase copies of the play for each member of your cast at CurrClick.com or Amazon http://amzn.to/2iRPBFl and use the play royalty free. OPTION 3: If you prefer to pay the royalty instead of completing one of the above requests then you can do so at http://www.freedrama.net/royalty.html

**Please email doug@freedrama.net and state that you agree to the above requirements and you will be given permission to use the script.**

Thank you for selecting our plays. Have fun and please let us know how it goes.

Sincerely,

D. M. and Shiela Larson




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