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Scenes for 3 Actors

Featured Scene: "Fart Zen" by D. M. Larson

Copyright (c) 2005 All Rights Reserved Purchase a low cost PDF of this play from

(A comedy skit Three or more actors, any gender)
STEPH: Stressed out business woman (can be a man STEVE).
MASTER: Fart-Zen master who teaches relaxation techniques.
PUPIL: There can be one PUPIL or a dozen. Very flexible.
(Lights come up on a studio that is a cross between a yoga and karate studio. PUPILS are dressed in white and are in various strange positions in a state of meditation. Each PUPIL has a small box next to them. NOTE: There can be one PUPIL or a dozen. The Fart-Zen MASTER stands before them also in a state of meditation. STEPH enters. STEPH is in a business suit with her hair up. Everything about her scream tension. She stops worried she has interrupted them)

Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were in the middle of a session. I'll come back.

No, please enter. All are welcome here.

Hello, I'm Stephanie Miller.

(Pulls out a business card and gives it to the MASTER. STEPH turns and looks at PUPILS. MASTER tosses card carelessly) I was referred here by my doctor. She says I've got way too much stress in my life and she prescribed some relaxation exercises. Your Fart-Zen school comes highly recommended for it's success in relieving all kinds of stress and anxiety disorders.

(STEPH has been pacing nervously. MASTER stops her)

It is said "far-zen".

Oh... so sorry. T is silent. Got it. Kind of like Mozart but the opposite. He must have taken your T sound.

Perhaps. Pupils. Assume position... Ichi.

(PUPILS all shift into a similar position and all fart as they do so. NOTE: The farting will most likely will have to be done with a recording unless you have some really talented farters in the cast. STEPH looks at them in disgust but MASTER says nothing)

So what is the source of your tension?

Huh? Oh, work I guess.

You seem distracted.

Every since I got this promotion, I've been a total air head.

Position Ni!

(PUPILS shift again to a new position and fart more)

Are they okay?

They are reaching a state of advanced relaxation.

(PUPILS sit by their boxes and pull out various things to consume such as bean burritos, soda, broccoli, apples, milk, cheese, etc.)

Wait a minute. What is exactly the whole idea here?

All tension is something that is within you. Stress becomes bottled up and new stress makes it all shaken and builds inside you. If you have to way to relieve that stress, then it grows until it becomes unhealthy and even painful. Is your tension causing you pain?

It does. I get these panic attacks... I swear I was having a heart attack.

And one day you may unless you have a proper way to expel the demon which festers within.
Prepare for the next position!
(PUPILS rush excitedly and get themselves set)
Position San!
(PUPILS bend in various positions and there is a some serious farting)

Oh, man!

(The smell is too much for STEPH and she covers her mouth)

We must all reach a state of perfect relaxation. But only the Fert-zen master can achieve such a perfect state through repeated practice. The goal of all Fert-zen students is to reach position Shi.

Show us, Master. Show us position Shi.

No, that's okay... I...

Prepare for position Shi.

(PUPILS all clear floor and wait excitedly as MASTER gets in a strange position. Long pause. Suddenly the fart comes quietly then builds and gets stronger. The PUPILS are in ecstacy. STEPH leaves in disgust. The fart grows and lights fade to black. The fart builds and then stops. Then continues after a moment almost explosively. The PUPILS clap. Wait for silence from audience and then a little fart then comes again just to finish it off. Wait for silence again. Slight pause)

You are the master.


"Fart-Zen" - very short comedy for three or more actors (any gender) from a published play “The Weird, Wild and Wonderful Days of School” ISBN-13: 978-1482739626

Purchase a low cost PDF of Fart-Zen from

"Monster Survival Skills During A Gremlin Outbreak" - Short comedy stage play script for 3 or more actors from the play “Control the Future” ISBN-13: 978-1540666581

"Rock, Sword, Firecracker!" Short comedy about the legend behind the game of Rock, Scissors, Paper. 3+ actors (any gender)from a published play “The Weird, Wild and Wonderful Days of School” ISBN-13: 978-1482739626

"Metropolis Man" Short romantic comedy play for 2 m 1 f about finding a super man and falling in love from “Between Good and Evil” ISBN-13: 978-1502982308

"Gossip" - Short Comedy - 2-5 more actors
A play for mature actors from a published play “The Weird, Wild and Wonderful Days of School” ISBN-13: 978-1482739626

"The Waiting Room" A serious dramatic scene for three actors any gender but written for 3 men from "Death of an Insurance Salesman" ISBN-13: 978-1518665547

"Romance on the Rocks" - Short dark comedy stage play script for 3 actors (1 male 2 female) from "3 Short Comedy Scripts" ISBN-13: 978-1546726845

"Hipster Hobos" Short sketch comedy skit about when being too cool is too annoying. Flexible cast 1+ m 1+ w (3-6+ total) from “When Mel Fell for Nell“ ISBN-13: 978-1512007183

"Kryptonite Jewelry" A funny comedy scene for three actors - 2 m 1 f (link goes to Freedrama blog) from the scene "Blinded by the Knight" from the published play "Between Good and Evil" ISBN-13: 978-1502982308

"Reception" A play for three actors (two men, one woman) from "Death of an Insurance Salesman" ISBN-13: 978-1518665547

"Mr. Fuzzy" - Comedic scene for 3 Actors featuring Cinderella and the Big Bad Wolf from “Holka Polka” ISBN-13: 978-1502445490

"El Taco Feo Lives!" Short comedy scene for 3 males from a published play called "My William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155

"Much Madness" - One Act - 3 w from a published play “The Weird, Wild and Wonderful Days of School” ISBN-13: 978-1482739626

"Ow!" - Comedic scene for 3 Actors featuring Pinocchio and the Big Bad Wolf from “Holka Polka” ISBN-13: 978-1502445490

"Chocolate and Kisses" - Comedic scene for 3 Actors - 2 females 1 male from “Between Good and Evil” ISBN-13: 978-1502982308

free plays for three actors scenes for 3

"Grace" Short drama of an angel who has fallen in love with a mortal. 2w 1m from the published play "Secrets of My Soul" ISBN-13: 978-1493533589

"Hippies, Housewives, and Watering Holes" - 10 minute play - 2 w 1 m

"Screamy Youie Kicky Booth" Short comedy. 1m 1w 1 other

"Waiting on Trains" Comedy scene for 3 actors (link goes to Freedrama blog)

"You and Me, Alone and Free" Comedy one act play for 3 actors - 1 female and 2 males (link goes to Freedrama blog)

"Sleeping Giant (aka A New Dawn)" A serious dramatic play for three actors any gender but written for two men, one woman (link goes to Freedrama blog)

"Jar of Nickels" 3 characters

"Silent but Deadly" - Short comedy stage play script for 3 actors

"You're a Mad Man, Charlie Brown" 1 m 2 w

"Replenish the Earth" - One Act - 1 m 2 w

"John and Maggie" - One Act Drama - Could you love a child that isn't your own? - 1 w 1 m 1 girl

free plays for three actors scenes skits scripts

"Giving You My Heart" Short dramatic play with few words but a lot of heart for 2 m 1 f

for 3 actors (1 male 2 female)

(RANDY jumps up excited. He turns to TASHA)

I earned the Holy High Lord ruler achievement on Clash of the Kings 3! You think you can beat that?

I don’t even know what that means.

That means I am unbeatable!


I thought women were impressed by guys who accomplish something.

I don’t think any video game accomplishment is going to turn my head. Look! I’m busy trying to arrange a trade deal with a Chinese company.

All work and no play makes for a dull Dorothy.

My name’s Tasha, not Dorothy.

Hi, Tasha. My name’s Randy.

That wasn’t an invitation to flirt.

That was flirting? I always wondering how to do that well.

That wasn’t done well. I’m busy, okay?

It must be cool working out international trade deals.

It’s complicated and a lot of work so…

So let me help by getting you some coffee. Be right back.

Wait… no… uh…

(MARIANE has been listening to RANDY the whole time he has been at the cafe’)

Don’t be too hard on him. He’s very nice and... kind of cute.

Him? Are you blind?

Well… Yes… Legally blind.

What? Oh, man. I’m sorry…

It’s okay… I always hear him and he sounds very nice. He’s always friendly and helpful. There was an old couple that came in here and didn’t know how to order and what to get and he helped them… he even helped carry their stuff out to their car. He can be very sweet. Is he not good looking?

Uh… well… no… he’s fine.

Fine as in “fine” or as in okay?

I don’t know. He’s not my type but he seems alright? On a scale of Brad Pitt to Nosferatu he’s a 5. Maybe a 4 and a half.

Looks aren’t important. It’s kindness and respect that really matter.

And maybe he’d enjoy being your seeing eye dog too… I wish you’d all stop talking to me! I’m working!

Geez… why are you working in a busy cafe anyway? Get an office or something.

Maybe I like the atmosphere here.

Maybe you don’t have a real job and you’re just pretending to be someone important to impress people.

(TASHA gives MARIANNE a really dirty look. Then she gets an evil smile)

You know what? Maybe I like Randy after all.

What? No, you don’t.

(MARIANNE is upset by this)

Oh, dear. Have you been hoping Randy would notice you and flirt with you like he just did with me?

I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

Were you hoping he was a nice guy who would take pity on a blind girl?

I wish I had a seeing eye dog so he could bite you right now.

(RANDY returns with coffee)

I got your coffee, Tasha. I thought you’d like some toffee flavor… get it? Tasha… Toffee.

Oh you’re so funny, Ricky.


Whatever. Wow, this coffee is so good. I should keep you around as my personal assistant.

I’d like that.

You could fetch me coffee and do my errands…

And give you back rubs.

That would be so nice.

How much are you going to pay him? He should get paid if he is your assistant.

He’ll do it for free.

Yeah, sure.

He already bought me coffee. Go buy me a sandwich too, Ronny.

Um.. okay.

(RANDY goes back to buy a sandwich)

Leave him alone. He’s not your servant. He’s a nice guy and you’re taking advantage of him.

(MARIANNE jumps up and knocks TASHA’s drink onto her computer or knocks down her computer on the floor. RANDY rushes over to help)

Hey! You idiot! Look what you did. That’s my work you just destroyed!

(TASHA storms off with her computer)

Hey, you can use my computer.

You shouldn’t let people treat you that way. She was being mean to you.

I can’t believe you did that to her. Now you’ve made her mad. I’ll never get a date with her now.

(RANDY exits after TASHA)

Read more scenes from "Losers in Love"

Or purchase the play from ISBN: 9781549653186

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