free solo stage play script monologue

"Hipster Hobos" by D. M. Larson
A short funny script skit
(sketch comedy stage play)



The scene is written for 6 actors but can be done with more or less. There needs to be at least 1 male and 1 female. The Hipsters can be any gender and any number.

For permission to use this script, contact doug@freedrama.net (be sure to include the title "Hipster Hobos" in your request.

This scene is from a published play called "When Mel Fell for Nell" (ISBN-13: 978-1512007183)


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"Hipster Hobos"
by D. M. Larson

(Mel and Nell enter the seating area of a restaurant with a tray filled with drinks, a number and dinner rolls. They are talking so they don't notice immediately that all the tables are taken by a person a each table with a laptop or tablet or some electronic device)

NELL
You think the kids are okay?

MEL
We have a good sitter.

NELL
Why do they have to act that way when I leave? They act like they are dying. Why do they have to be so over-dramatic? It's worse than watching Titanic.

MEL
No... nothing is worse than watching Titanic.

(They realize they are wandering a bit too much)

NELL
All the tables are taken.

MEL
Oh no. It's the hipster hobos.

NELL
The what?

MEL
Hipster hobos... aka laptop hobos... they find hip places with free wifi and buy the cheapest thing possible and camp out for the entire day.

NELL
Don't they have anything better to do?

MEL
No... this is their life. Taking up space and trying to look cool while doing it.

NELL
Well... it's not cool. I am a tired mom who needs a night to relax... I just need to sit.

MEL
I think that one's asleep. Maybe if we sit with her really quiet.

NELL
I want our own table. I think that one ran out of battery... oh, wait, he has an extension cord.

MEL
You think with all the free refills they'd have to get up to go pee more.

NELL
Maybe if I find the wifi hub, I can unplug it.

MEL
And get us kicked out.

NELL
Why don't they kick them out?

MEL
It's a vicious cycle. This restaurant wants to appear hip. So they want the hipsters in here to draw in the rest of the hip crowd. But hispters have to fit in their skinny jeans so they don't buy much food.

NELL
I have an idea.

(Nell speaks loudly)

NELL (CONT.)
Did you hear about the sale at the Apple store?! It's a good one!

(Hipsters start to take interest)

NELL (CONT.)
They have a sale on the new iPid!

HIPSTER 1
The iPid?

HIPSTER 2
What's an iPid?

(Hipsters start to stir and get excited)

NELL (CONT.)
I don't know! But it's new!

HIPSTER 3
I need one!

HIPSTER 4
Me too!

(Hipsters start to pack up in a hurry and leave)

NELL (CONT.)
And I hear they will give 100 iPids away to the first 100 people in line.

(Hipsters are leaving)

NELL (CONT.)
They don't open until morning so you'll have to wait in line all night.

HIPSTER 1
I always stay in line the night before the launch of a new Apple product.

HIPSTER 2
Who doesn't?

(Hipster 3 calls out to a waitress off stage)

HIPSTER 3
I brought my extension cord. Is it okay if I leave it plugged in here?

HIPSTER 4
I have a power strip.

(All the Hipsters are gone. Nell smiles big)

NELL
Which table would you like?

(They sit down happily and Nell unplugs the long extension cord that was left behind by the hipsters. Blackout. Hipsters moan and groan in the darkness)

END OF SCENE


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Sincerely,

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